So as a pill-popper, Phelps was semi-decent human being (minus the mattock beating). George W. Bush had to give up booze and find Jesus to turn into an international disgrace. Kids, do drugs and alcohol.

*teehee*

not that I needed another reason, but wheeeeeeeee

Sadly, close inspection of Phelps’ civil rights record shows he followed the same greedy star he did in the rest of his cases. Lawsuits were filed, but rarely went to trial-and even more rarely reached a decision. Instead, Phelps practiced what he always had: ‘take-the-money-and run’. A settlement out-of-court has zero impact on legal precedent. Both sides continue to maintain they were right, only one party pays the other a little money to shut up and go away. In what are probably Fred Phelps’ three most famous civil rights cases, he did exactly that each time. In the multi-million dollar Kansas Power and Light case, Phelps filed a class-action on behalf of 2,000 blacks who had accused the utility of discrimination in their hiring and promotion practices.

Fred settled out of court for the following: *Two black employees received $12,000 each. *$100,000 was paid out to the other plaintiffs. If one counts the original 2,000, that made for 50 bucks each.

*Phelps scooped $85,000 in attorney’s fees and expenses. *KP&L admitted no wrongdoing and suffered no coercion to alter its allegedly racist policies. KP&L officials claimed they’d settled to avoid an expensive legal battle. “It’s unprecedented what we just did,” the pastor crowed.

Certainly it left no precedent.

[snip]

During their teenage years, both Mark and Nate worked as law clerks in their father’s office. “When a black client was in there,” recalls Nate, “my father would play the ‘DN’ game with us. It stands for ‘dumb nigger’. We would all try to use the acronym as often as possible in the presence of the person involved.” In the 1983 interview with the Wichita Eagle-Beacon, Phelps intoned, echoing Abraham Lincoln: “The air of the United States is too pure for racial prejudice to keep going, and the nation can’t long endure half-slave and half-free. There is not any doubt that the problems of this country derive, in my humble opinion, from the way this country continues to treat black people.” But according to his sons in California, part of the theology of the Old Calvinism Fred taught held that blacks were a subservient race because they were the sons of Ham, the son of Noah. Cursed for ridiculing Noah’s nakedness, Ham’s children were born black, according to the Bible. Some scholars attribute apartheid in South Africa to the fact that the white minority is predominantly Calvinist and takes the Ham story to heart.

Mark definitely recalls that his father taught the Ham story and took it to its Calvinist conclusions: the black race was cursed and meant to be the “servants of servants” – i.e., subservient to whites. Nate agrees. “He taught that in Sunday sermon many times while we were growing up.” Both boys recall their father used to tell black jokes.

“And he’d imitate them after they’d left our office,” remembers Mark. However, the piece-de-resistance in the ongoing saga of Phelps hypocrisy is the pastor’s relationship with the Reverend Pete Peters of La Porte, Colorado.

Peters is the guru-philosopher of the Christian Identity Movement. Known simply as “Identity”, the movement believes the white race is God’s true Chosen People. They assert the Jews are animal souls that rewrote the Old Testament to give themselves the Chosen’s birthright. Blacks are “mud people” who also possess animal souls-meaning they are not immortal and cannot go to heaven. According to Identity, blacks and Jews want to eliminate the white race and rule the earth.

Oh. Well, then, I guess he was the Phelpsey we know and love all along…