Atheist Christmas Carols

Perhaps that’s a paradoxical headline… but whatever.

Try singing these with your family!

My favorites:

Joy to the world, Bill Nye is come.
Let earth receive her king.
Let every mind prepare him room,
And science and nature sing,
And science and nature sing,
And science, and science and nature sing.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How murderous and wasteful
To end your life so carelessly,
So thoughtless and distasteful.

We carry on traditions vile,
To honor Superstition’s child.
O Christmas Tree, I feel for thee,
How murderous and wasteful.

(Thanks to Mary Ellen for the link!)

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  • MrBadAxe

    Here’s something I did this year. I put the lyrics to “White Christmas” to Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.” The first two lines worked surprisingly well. Cracked the family up. I hope I remember it next year.

    Said the shepherd boy to the little lamb…
    Holy crap a talking sheep!

    Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king…
    Do you know what I know?
    A coup, a coup
    The people piss and moan
    You are going to be overthrown
    Yes the king will be overthrown

    Also, I spent about a half hour fiddling with FLStudio trying to recreate the backing track to DigitalCuttlefish’s christmas carol. If I finish something I’m satisfied with tonight I may post it tomorrow.

  • Becky

    Awww I like Christmas trees. lol. Very clever, thanks for sharing Hemant and MrBadAxe.

  • Indigo

    Christmas trees are farmed, you know. It’s not really any more murderous or wasteful than any other decorative plant.
    That said, it was still kind of funny.

  • Drew

    we use a fake tree. Sheesh.