Common causes of atheism: Is there a cure?

*cue sarcasm*

needle

I had a great deal of fun on conservapedia.com today. And, I learned a lot! I discovered that what I have, this “atheism,” actually has several causes. To my dismay, though, there doesn’t seem to be a cure. Let’s go through the list, shall we?

The first noted cause is “Moral Depravity.” Although there is no cure for this, it seems I can blame Darwin, and others since him, who used deceit “in a major way to propagate atheism.” So, you see, it’s not my fault that I am “certainly the most despicable and the most miserable animal under the sun,” as some guy named Matthew Henry suggests. (A funny side note is that the person who wrote this bit went on to quote from the Bible. Apparently, I have been paying attention to the wrong deceit.)

Next, I want to point out that my atheism is due to “Superficiality.” After all, I have given in to the “peer” pressure of those who came before me spreading their lies, so it only makes sense that I would continue in the same way. I have no strongly held conviction, I cannot resist… I am just a lemming. (Wait, isn’t that what atheists say about theists? This is getting confusing.)

I would also like you to know that I am in “Error.” I either do not have the mental capacity or do not exercise my ability “to fairly and judiciously consider the facts.” It seems that the time I spent reading and studying the Bible (which, of course, is from whence fact comes) was a complete waste of time because I didn’t do so with fairness and judiciousness.

I lament that I had a “poor relationship with [my] father” because I am sure that is a huge contributor to why I am an atheist. (But, wait… I didn’t have a poor relationship with my father.)

I can also blame my affliction, you know … the atheism, on all of the “negative experiences with theists” I have had. There was this one time that… um, nope… wait… there was that…. I can’t think of anything now, but I will get back to you.

doctor

And finally, the pinnacle of reasons behind my atheism is, of course, “Scientism.” But wait… it is touted on the Conservapedia Web site as a “new God.” Wouldn’t that make science a deity? I don’t hold a belief in deities, yet I “believe” in science. Oh, my Science! That makes me a theist after all! (Now I’m really confused.)

Fortunately, I know several cures for theism.

*end sarcasm*

  • Shane

    Uh-oh. “Moral depravity”, “poor relationship with father”, and “superficiality” also cause something else: homosexuality.

    Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to “choose” to turn gay now.

  • http://www.godispretend.net God is Pretend

    They left “reason”, “logic”, and “lack of evidence” off that list. Maybe someone should add those…

  • http://cupcakesandmace.com Ms Constantine

    “I am in “Error.”” Well that just makes the sign at work, made from the rearranged letters of merry xmas, even better:

    Max My Errs

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  • Kayla

    Dear FSM, just reading through that site made my blood boil.

  • http://www.otmatheist.com hoverFrog

    According to the 1997 Federal Bureau of Prisons report, 0.21% of inmates were atheist. Given a general distribution of 6% to 15% of the American population is atheist this is a significantly lower percentage that you’d expect for a group that suffers from such “Moral Depravity“.

    I need help on the peer pressure idea. Don’t peers exert pressure by virtue of their position of superior numbers or social inclusion? As the most “despicable and the most miserable animal under the sun” atheists necessarily are unable to exert any kind of peer pressure on the majority. They’d have been better off claiming a form of social rebellion.

    65.2% of the National Academy of Sciences (NAS) held to a disbelief in God, 79% in the physical sciences. Those dummies clearly don’t ‘have the mental capacity or do not exercise my ability “to fairly and judiciously consider the facts.”’

    Poor relationship with a father figure….hmm. Well we can’t all have dads like Abraham or God who willingly put us in a position of sacrifice to appease a tyrant. I guess I’ll just have to manage with rough edged old man who took me to football matches as a kid.

    As for “negative experiences with theists” I’ve found the majority to be quite polite and helpful but a few venomous trolls lurking among them. They’re just people like rest of us and any group will contain it’s share of arseholes.

    As for “Scientism” that’s just funny. Do they need a god so much that they’ll make one up to fit a group that rejects the idea of gods? Actually it’s not that funny, it’s quite sad really.

    That lady in the white coat looks like a dentist with her array of dental instruments and splash screen in front of her eyes. Is the cure for atheism through the teeth?

  • http://adventuresinmultiplicity.blogspot.com Heidi

    heh. just about all reasons sound like the same used against polyamory or open relationships, too.

  • mikespeir

    Why, Jeeezus is the cure!

  • PrimeNumbers

    Just proves the one thing that can’t be cured is human stupidity.

  • jedipunk

    When I saw “atheism” in the title I read “autism.”

  • http://msatheists.org Oliver

    Peer pressure? Do you know who else was here in Mississippi to pressure me into becoming an atheist? NO ONE.

  • http://www.bernerbits.com Derek

    Uh-oh. “Moral depravity”, “poor relationship with father”, and “superficiality” also cause something else: homosexuality.

    Also, ADHD. O Noes! The world is doomed to be populated with gay hyperactive atheists!

  • http://www.unscrewingtheinscrutable.com Brent Rasmussen

    I call Poe on the whole of Conservapedia.

  • SarahH

    You’ve got to love the linked articles they mention, like “Atheism and Mass Murder” and “Atheism and Uncharitableness” etc.

    I wish I could honestly call Poe on the whole of Conservapedia, but instead I just ignore it and other sites like it. They’re written by (and frequented by) people who aren’t going to be interested in cooperation, honest discussion, or moving past differences to solve bigger problems, and so they’re people I’m not particularly interested in.

  • Lynx

    If you want more kicks, check out the article on evolution. You know it’s gonna be good when they’ve spliced a picture of Darwin and Hitler together (seriously). Dawkins is similarly portrayed, something that I bet he would find highly amusing.

  • Justin jm

    They left “reason”, “logic”, and “lack of evidence” off that list. Maybe someone should add those…

    The Conservapedians will accuse you of making stuff up. With no sense of irony, I add.

    I also noted use of the Courtier’s Reply in the linked article. They can’t allow their religion to be criticized or else it falls apart, despite their self-assuring bluster.

  • http://www.abandonallfear.co.uk Alex Fear

    So what do they prescribe as the cure anyway?

    For what it’s worth… I’m not an ideal moral candidate, have a poor (actually none) relationship with my father and plenty of negative experiences with theists (one simply has to attend church regularly)… guess that makes me an atheist?

  • sc0tt


    According to the 1997 Federal Bureau of Prisons report, 0.21% of inmates were atheist.

    Obviously the atheist criminals are better at not getting caught! Probably has something to do with their deceitful nature.

    • Rafael

      Inmates are technically not Christians when they did what they did(maybe the repented after the crime, that wouldn’t count) but when they did it they were not Christian(assuming The Crime harms).

      You don’t have to be atheist to be secular, most of this world is secular(with God), whether they are honest about YHWH existing or not.

  • Erp

    I should point that there may be very good reasons not to admit to being an atheist in the US prison system even if one was. In addition rates of atheism tend to be lower in the less wealthy and the less educated who are also more likely to end up in prison (and not necessarily because they are more criminal).

  • http://hoverfrog.wordpress.com hoverFrog

    That’s a fair point Erp. Let’s compare crime rates between the predominantly Christian United States and predominantly secular nations instead.

    In 2004, there were 5.5 homicides for every 100,000 persons in the US. In Norway (71% atheist) there was 1 per 100,000, UK (about 60% atheist) was 1.4, France (33% atheist)was 1.6. Perhaps the answer is gun control rather than religiosity though but the correlation does seem to indicate that atheists commit less crime that theists. In France 70% of the prison population is Muslim. These are largely immigrants so the cultural implications probably have greater weight in criminality that religious ones…or perhaps the judiciary are harsher on immigrants.

    Perhaps, as sc0tt says, we are simply more devious in our crimes. Perhaps higher education and atheism are related ans higher education and lack of criminality are related. What this shows though is that theism, specifically Christianity does not make a person less likely to commit crimes. The variation at best makes atheist and theist equal in criminality which would be what I would expect.

  • Ryan

    PrimeNumbers said:

    Just proves the one thing that can’t be cured is human stupidity
    ————————————————————————————–

    Except a bullet to the head… But lets not go that far shall we? If there is one thing that is infinite in the universe its Human Stupidity.

  • PrimeNumbers

    I would never advocate killing the stupid. My only goal is to stop them killing others.

  • Nancy

    Derek – You made me laugh out loud!

  • Mriana

    That sounds like the dumbest conclusion concerning atheism. Not only that, it is so anti-intellectual that it’s not funny- scientism? Please! If anything, those on conservapedia need an education. Now should intellectuals be offended or start pushing education more?

  • Siamang

    scientism

    Because, all you’ve got to do is add “ism” to the end of a real word in order to claim it’s a religion.

    Myself? I subscribe to MeganFoxism.

    Bonus points: My god happens to exist.

  • Jeremy

    I love conservapedia. The article on kangaroos states that they were descended from the two on Noah’s ark, although there are other theories of their origin. These include that they were sung into existence in the aboriginal dream time, or even that evolution took place

  • stephanie

    Mriana says:

    That sounds like the dumbest conclusion concerning atheism. Not only that, it is so anti-intellectual that it’s not funny- scientism? Please! If anything, those on conservapedia need an education. Now should intellectuals be offended or start pushing education more?

    But Mriana, they have fabulous educations. They’re all homeschooled! ;D

  • Mark Plus

    “Moral depravity”? As in, “getting a lot of sex outside of marriage”?

    I wish theists would get their stereotypes about atheists straight. What about the claim that atheism attracts socially inept loners who can’t get laid?

    http://anepigone.blogspot.com/2008/12/religious-denominations-ranked-by.html

    BTW, I find it ironic that the same christians who preach abstinence before marriage have also started to ridicule single male atheists for our alleged inability to find sex partners.

    • Rafael

      Sex before marriage isn’t a sin, try to look for it in Bible.

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    The Baptists I know will tell you that the number one cause of atheism is demonic possession. I know this because I heard my “Baptist small group” members say so. They were quite serious. These people are middle-class and normal in most ways except for their one delusion.

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  • Jacques Volkeren

    Thank God, I’m atheist, even apatheist

    • Rafael

      “Thank God, I’m atheist, even apatheist”

      Contradictory, if you were an atheist you wouldn’t Thank Him, this is a typical brainwashed line used by the masses to insult God(YHWH), doesn’t work.

  • Alex Adieu

    I notice one thing interesting when a theist will say that our bad experiences with them is what causes disbelief, when I have pointed out to them that those bad experiences forced me to take a long hard look at the scriptures(long before I stopped believing, to actually know if what I was told was “true” or not) as people were pushing me around and over stepping boundaries. Then when I found the Bible to be chock full of blatant contradictions, untenable stories(talking snake for instance, the flood, moral atrocities in the old testament, etc etc), they then refuse to take responsibility(not that I blame them as I would never go back to having imaginary friends as an adult, I am so thankful for all the bad experiences, and the good ones as there were some like the picnics and such). Took me years to figure out after coming out as an atheist that the cure for involvement in abusive churches is atheism. If a person simply doesn’t believe in God(not my only reason, I have piles of them), they never have to worry about being taken advantage of by abusive churches. They then refuse to acknowledge that those “bad Christians” were “real Christians”(whatever the hell that is supposed to mean) and put the blame on me for my atheism as opposed to acknowledging that there is something seriously wrong with their religion, big shocker there. I have made it crystal clear to some people who STILL act like I don’t have a point(despite normal everyday common sense examples). For instance, if a person doesn’t want to get drunk, never take a drink. Don’t want debt, never use credit and only pay cash for things. Never want to get caught having an affair, don’t have one. Don’t want to get fat, don’t eat junk food. Don’t want to have trouble falling asleep, don’t drink caffeine after 4PM. The list goes on and on, yet when I say don’t want to be ever be abused by a church, don’t believe in God, they get up in arms. Talk about intellectual dishonesty.

    • Rafael

      “, yet when I say don’t want to be ever be abused by a church, don’t believe in God, they get up in arms”

      What does being abused by a church have to do with YHWH(God)”s Existence? it doesn’t follow, the abuse was by that “church”, by humans, not by God and certainly doesn’t have to do with His existence, the abuse was secular.

      “they never have to worry about being taken advantage of by abusive churches.”

      You don’t need to go to church to be a Christian.

  • jp

    Anger and sarcasm are quintessential marks of the Atheist Personality Disorder

  • jacques.volkeren

    Religious people are less intelligent than atheists, according to analysis of scores of scientific studies stretching back over decades:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/religious-people-are-less-intelligent-than-atheists-according-to-analysis-of-scores-of-scientific-studies-stretching-back-over-decades-8758046.html

  • jacques.volkeren

    Religion, is there a cure?


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