these people belong to that lower half.

this makes me want to start a business. i’m gonna carve, draw, burn, photoshop etc the widely accepted, blatantly inaccurate images of what people think to be jesus and mary into random shit, then sell it. then take that money and start producing jewel encrusted bibles and selling them at astronomical prices. then use that money to buy the closest plot of land to jerusalem and start a jewish cemetary. and sell the edge of that land to muslims who want to build a wall between said dead jews and their “holy” land. i will be a very wealthy man in a relatively short period of time, and my ice machine will function because of this miracle idea which god has bestowed on me so that i have enough disposable income to hire someone to fix my ice machine.

Oh Jesus tap dancig Christ what has our world come to?

You wouldn’t be mocking if you’d seen a tap dancing Christ on your pancake.

“I don’t see her.”
“I don’t see her either. But it’s still a good story!”
“Yeah, it’s still a good story.”

I am probably in the minority here, because I actually think it’s good when the news covers stuff like this. It is the only time that religious kookery gets covered for what it is, and ridiculed openly.

Even if the reporters and anchors hold back from assassinating it with both barrels, they are kind of snickering over it, and that’s better than what you usually get with anything religion-related, which is total reverence and awe.

Take heart, my honest, earnest friend. Some day you’ll be able to report your true and important stories, write of your heart’s highest and lowest moments, tell the tale that must be told. Your book is growing deep within you, page by page.