I Did Not Know This About Easter Eggs…

As soon as it’s on sale at Landover-Baptizon.com, someone must buy me this 🙂

I *really* hope it’s a coloring book:


The author explains the premise of the book:

You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn’t have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint… But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer’s testicles! Glory to God! And I won’t say a word more about it! I don’t want to ruin the book for you!

No wonder it has a sales rank of #1.

(via Landover Baptist Church)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Zar

    Huevos is Spanish for both “eggs” and “testicles”.

    They knew it all along!

  • Ty

    What do you have if you have one easter egg in your left hand, and one easter egg in your right hand?

    Lucifer’s undivided attention.

  • Lucifer has some very . . . colorful . . . testicles.

  • Azazel

    Ha! Grab Satan by the balls!

  • JB

    Poe’s Law claims another victim.

    You do realize Landover Baptist is a satire site right?

  • They didn’t have babysitters back then? In which year was baby-sitting invented?

    And how mean do you have to be to be able to remove satan’s testicles? Yikes!

  • SASnSA

    Are they perchance associated with the Westboro Baptist Church?

  • llewelly

    You know, I’ve always been suspicious of ‘chocolate’ eggs left behind by a rabbit.

  • Scott D

    I believe the Landover site is a spoof, not an actual church.

  • Jen

    I would go to church on Easter if they gave me this coloring book.

  • Awesomesauce

    Yes, we know Landover is a spoof. Stop telling us.

  • LightSaber

    The word atheist means there is no belief in God. If He does not exist then why use the word atheist? The word in itself has to proclaim Him in order to deny Him. LOL