As soon as it’s on sale at Landover-Baptizon.com, someone must buy me this
I *really* hope it’s a coloring book:
You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn’t have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint… But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer’s testicles! Glory to God! And I won’t say a word more about it! I don’t want to ruin the book for you!
No wonder it has a sales rank of #1.
(via Landover Baptist Church)