Faith Healing Doesn’t Cure That

May 16, 2009 By Guest Contributor 18 Comments

Faith healing doesn’t work on amputees. It doesn’t work on the paralyzed. And it doesn’t work on… well… those parts.

sundayfrenetic

(via Freethunk!)

Filed Under: General, Humor 18 Comments
  • j. frank parnell

    This is great!

  • xxldave

    Oh my this is too funny! A similar incident happened to me and ended up being the deciding factor for me leaving the church! Long story short, wife and I have fertility issues, actually the issue is with me. A friend wanted me to get prayer from a “faith healer” so I went along with it. At the end of the prayer, healer asks if I felt any “tingles down there?” wtf? I say NO and he feels led to pray for me again with more faith healers and then asks me about “tingles” again. Ran into a mutual friend of healer a couple weeks ago who told me healer was in jail! Wouldn’t tell me why but my guess is he probably tried the “enlarge them” prayer!…oh lord

  • carlosc1dbz

    LOL I never thought of that. I wonder what Christina Aldana would say. She is so sweet. I love her so much. I think she would laugh, wait I dont know maybe she would get mad at me. But I think this article is funny.

  • Erra

    Actually, I had a very enlightening discussion with a reiki practitioner. She explained to me that they differentiate between ‘healing’ someone and ‘curing’ them. Being ‘healed’ is spiritual, and doesn’t equate to being physically cured.
    She does a lot of ‘healing’ for terminal cancer patients. They still die, but apparently they’re a lot happier about it.
    Some people may find this spiritual healing very worthwhile. Personally, my first port of call will remain the GP.

  • scotty

    faith healing doesnt work period. Good cartoon though

  • crude

    God is going to give me a bigger shlong – bet you’ll be jealous then, Hemant.

  • lord your god

    it is hilarious how people will look at evidence of primitive religions and say “How funny, they worshipped the sun”. Hey all you Goddies, at least sun worshippers have evidence their god actually exists! show me a photograph of your god.

  • DeafAtheist

    I wonder if I could have a faith healer remove the misspelled tattoo from my ass?

  • http://www.unindoctrinated.com/ EvilGod

    Excellent. So true.
    Jeff Swenson does great work.

  • http://grizzlyadamsbeard.blogspot.com Mike

    Its not really faith healing I don’t think, but similar. I went to a concert at a church when I was in high school. The band was called “Justified”. It was a good show and everything, just a little creepy. Of course the pastor gave a little mini sermon before the concert, and then he went down to the audience to bless people or whatever they call it. He would walk up to them and “WITH THE POWER OF CHRIST” smack them on the forehead and they would fall into the arms of the people behind them and have a less-than-believable seizure. Then after a while they all started jiggling around and speaking in jibberish tongues. Me and my friends just kind of gave each other some semi-frightened looks and I remember thinking: Whats going to happen if he comes over here and hits me in the face like he does to them, and nothing happens?

  • http://sobrenatural.net Lalo Marquez

    LoL! Never thought of that one… I now wonder why we don’t hear about that kind of “cosmetic healing” more often, I bet there are lots of people so deluded that would fall for this one too.

  • Maria

    You realize that the advertisement that appears at the top of this page is for Scientology.org, right? Ironic or stupid? I don’t know.

  • http://www.lifeexposure.ca Jonathon

    Good stuff, love the faith healer jokes. Keep them coming

  • ArchangelChuck

    That would be the best job ever. I would only accept females, though. Sorry guys.

  • anti-supernaturalist

    That doesn’t mean that you can’t make money trying.

    Xianity has been a successful fraud for 2,000 years.

  • RLWemm

    Does it work on hairlips? Baldness? Alzheimer’s?

  • Oneoldman

    Just imagine if all the energy and money wasted on religion were put to use to help people.

  • Colin

    Apparently it doesn’t work on stigmata, either.