Why Would a Christian Leave Her Stranded?

Reminds me of the opening scene of “Gangs of New York”, in which Bill the Butcher invokes god’s help in overcoming the rival Irish gang, while “Priest” Vallon, leader of the latter, replies “prepare to receive the true lord!”

Man created god. The god concept exists to fit our whims, issues, and insecurities. Even the most fanatical, devout followers will only follow the word of their holy book of choice as far as it agrees with their personal mores.

The Christian right that rejects gay marriage while cheating on their spouses with members of either sex, the warmongers who want to jump-start their scriptures’ version of Ragnarok, the suicide bomber who sees no problem with taking out children in order to defend his god’s “honor”: They are the ultimate “moral relativists”, picking and choosing the writs they will follow in order to satisfy their worldview.

Laura’s boss and co-worker are simply a couple more examples of the hypocrisy of religion. According to the Bible, Jesus saved an adulterous woman from being stoned to death, and repudiated her would-be executioners. But clearly what he meant was that ditching teenage girls in the woods at night is what a true Christian should do. Totally.

It doesn’t seem to have much to do with the boss being a Christian; he’s just a self-centered jerk by any brand. He was only interested in protecting his own reputation, and it looks like his reputation with his wife may have already been strained. Some men in the Middle East might think the boss did the right thing. My contempt for that mentality is beyond expression.

If I was in the boss’s position I would take Laura home first and then return for Joel. If I was really worried about my reputation, I’d first call both my wife and whoever was responsible for Laura to let everyone know that I was driving her home.

If I was in Joel’s position and the idiot boss refused to take Laura home but offered to take me instead, I would politely refuse and stay with Laura, to somehow make sure she got home safely, even if we had to walk.

I won’t leave a female stranded, period. When we leave work together at night, I make sure they are in their car and driving away before I leave in my car. One night a female co-worker’s ride was late, and she was planning to sit outside the locked building until her ride arrived. I phoned my wife to tell her of the situation so she wouldn’t worry that I’d been in a traffic accident, and I waited with my co-worker until her ride arrived. This is not about thinking that all females are helpless. I would have done that even if she could clearly kick an attacker’s ass.

This is not hard to figure out, guys. Your strength is for protecting others. Use it.

An atheist friend of mine once pointed out to me that all the atheists we know seem to have better marriages than the christians. I would be furious at my husband if he stranded someone (anyone!) alone in the dark in the woods because of some paranoid and selfish fantasy that it would ruin our marriage. Really all that man cared about was what other people would think of him. Luckily I am married to an atheist so I don’t have to worry about such nonsense.

I think I would have found a way to take them both back at the same time. Perhaps unload some stuff from the vehicle, take them both back, then go back and get the stuff. People are more important than stuff.

First off, he didn’t have a car, he had a 4-wheeler. Basically think of a motorcycle only more stable because it has 4 wheels instead of 2. So the passenger would have to ride astride, presumably holding onto the driver with arms around his chest.

Quite possibly the boss had already been accused of cheating by his wife, with his staff, and so he really was scared of what she would think if she was another woman with her arms around him.

Of course, the right thing to do would have been to drive the 4-wheeler very slowly in front of the 2 walkers. She said it was dark, in the woods and with no flashlights. The headlight of the vehicle could have provided safety for all, and if (god forbid) someone did stumble in the dark and get seriously hurt, the vehicle could be sent quickly off for help.

It’s just a situation where someone’s messed up views of sexuality have inhibited his rational thinking.

This guy didn’t trust himself, which might suggest a thing or two about how much good his religion had done him in the area of morals.

…whatever happened to self-control? Are Christians like the ones in this story incapable of this?

Well, I was always taught that men and women (but mostly men) were indeed incapable of restraining themselves around each other, usually justified by original sin combined with the “men are uncontrollable lust machines” trope.

So, to answer the question, no, Christians aren’t incapable of self-control; they’re usually just told they are until they believe it.

I read Laura’s story a second time and I think it’s really a stretch to attribute Corey’s behavior so strongly to his being a Christian. He was being self-centered about the appearance of his propriety, but he could have been just that way whether he was religious or not.

I think it’s a mistake to link every jerky thing someone does to their religiosity, just as it is a mistake to attribute jerkiness to someone’s irreligiosity. Some of the comments here sound like they’re just jumping on an opportunity to say “Yeah, them dirty, rotten Christians!” Oh, give it a rest. To say Corey was a jerk because he was a Christian, or to fault his Christianity because it failed to keep him from being a jerk is really reaching. This story belongs on the “Some Guys Can Be Jerks” blog. It’s not about religion or atheism at all.

Back when I was a minister (assoc. pastor) in a small Assemblies of God church, and working a day job, one day a co-worker had car trouble and needed a ride home. I was driving a big 64 Impala 4-door sedan, so no problem. But, as I explained to my co-worker, because I was married at the time, it would be seen as inappropriate if a church member saw me (a minister) with a woman who wasn’t my wife sitting in the front seat. She seemed offended and insulted that I asked her to sit in the back seat. I thought that was a position of honor and respect for a woman who wasn’t my wife, because that’s what I’d been taught.

(yes, it was totally insane and irrational, but that’s the rigidity of the Assemblies at that time, and I was hard-core.)

Richard and Vincent:
Actually, popular conservative books such as I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Passion for Purity directly encourage this type of behavior on religious grounds. You put your marriage, purity, and integrity above all else. The person you leave stranded may be inconvenienced, but at least your marriage and honor are still intact. This is seriously the attitude of Christian males who buy into this kind of stuff. A man who does this sort of thing may be accused of taking it too far by many other conservatives, but in other situations, he is to be praised for showing “not even a hint” of sexual sin. For them, it truly is about religion, though I agree that it is thoughtless regardless.

How many times have we heard the argument, “you can only be moral if you believe in god”, with the corollary that without such beliefs we’re all rabid monsters, ready to tear our fellow man to shreds at a whim? This situation is just another example of the same thing, the poor boss is just scared that he might lose touch with god in the wilderness and end up having to rape the lass cause that’s what his base instincts would command of him. At least Joel would stand a chance if the boss lost it and went crazy – cause, y’know, guys are big and strong whereas women are weak little kittens who are only good at looking pretty, ironing clothes and bearing children 🙂

magdalune..

The original koan reads something like this at the end…

The younger monk, unable to contain his horror said. “Why did you touch the woman. You know this is forbidden to us!”

His older companion relied. “Are you still carrying her? I put her down at the bank of the stream”

I was once in a similar position. I offered a lift to a christian woman who refused saying that she would not feel right riding with me. I handed her the keys and said that I’d walk….

She got in.

I’m not so sure I agree completely with Richard on this one. Granted, Corey was being selfish. But he acted as he did because his religion had constructed a moral code by which he felt obliged to live. It was his religion that impelled him toward that selfishness.

Strikes me that this is just the same stupid attitude that Muslims are for ever in the headlines for.

Women are required to dress ‘modestly’ because of the assumption that all women are inherently liable to cause irresistible sexual urges in men.
Likewise, all men are completely incapable of suppressing the urge to rape any passing female, and so the genders must be vigorously kept apart.

According to the ‘devout’, human kind is good for one thing only – fornication – and so we must constantly maintain a vigil to prevent the world wide orgy from taking place.

Sounds like some people have *really* low opinions of humanity. They need to get over it.

I had a friend in high school who went to a church that seemed fairly normal. One day she told me she had to walk home from the nighttime youth group because the married-but-young pastor couldn’t drive her home due to his Billy Graham-inspired “can’t even be alone with a woman who is not my wife”. Mind you, she was a sixteen year old, and while we lived in a pretty good neightborhood, its neither pedestrian friendly nor necessarily safe for a young woman to walk home two miles after dark. She was the type who would accept this- I would have pitched a fit. She defended it, but a youth minister should have a system in place other than a shrug for Jesus.

Unfortunately, people are too apt to judge by appearances. It isn’t enough to BE honest and honorable – you must also be SEEN to be honest and honorable.

I am married, female and a high school teacher. I like to believe that I have good relationships with my students, and a deep level of trust.

But I am very careful to never be alone with a student, especially a male one.

That practice has little to do with ‘appearances’. Thirty years ago in America, (and even twenty in many parts of the US) it was perfectly normal for a teacher to spend time alone with a student – usually to punish the student, sometimes to ensure the student got the homework time they needed. It wasn’t typically assumed to be a sexual event, despite the fact that American culture thirty years ago was even more anal retentive about ‘appearances’.
On the contrary – the practice changed because it was demonstrated, in many studies and many court cases, that the privilege of being alone with student created opportunities for abuse. And so, throughout the 1980s, 1990s, and so on, schools enacted stricter and stricter rules against it.

Eat the chicken. Problem solved!