Would You Allow Christians To Pray Over Your Baby?

I think walking away without responding would be appropriate. Before I stopped shopping at Wally World last year, no one had ever tried to pray over, under, or around my children. If they had, I suppose I would have had to leave the immediate area in a swift manner.

I know when I’m confronted by christians in a public place I get visibly uncomfortable, but I don’t like to make a scene unless they’re really pushing my buttons. I don’t have a baby so I’m not sure how I would react if someone tried to pray over it. I suspect I would be much more protective in that case.

When people start babbliing about Jesus around me, I calmly lie that I am a Jew.
It lets me shut them up without having to defend atheism. It’s politically incorrect to insult Jews (thanks, Hitler), but atheists, as you know, are fair game.
(Note to humor-impaired: the Hitler reference is a bit of gallows humor.)

One woman prayed over me in a bus after we talked on the bus station and in the bus. She said something about religion, that she is Evangelical (most residents of Croatia are cultural Roman Catholics) and I said I was an atheist. She placed her hands on me and asked her imaginary friend to save me. I was to surprised to react and didn’t say anything during her prayer. My station was next, so I said “Goodbye” and left. I was 16 or 17, too inexperienced to react properly. I didn’t mind her prayer, but placing her hands on me offended me (I didn’t know her, just met her that day).

When people start babbliing about Jesus around me, I calmly lie that I am a Jew.
It lets me shut them up without having to defend atheism. It’s politically incorrect to insult Jews (thanks, Hitler), but atheists, as you know, are fair game.

Wow, that’s a good strategy. If I’m in a situation where I’m confronted by a religious person who is just going to rail at me if I admit atheism and is not the type who’ll have a civil discussion, I might use it.

She was likely mentally ill so the mother probably did the right thing by simply moving on. This was not someone who was going to persuaded that this kind of behavior is socially unacceptable. If the parents had stopped or rebuked her, she would have simply blamed Satan for “blinding them to the truth.”

That’s why you need to teach your baby to turn her head around 360 degrees and spit up pea soup whenever anyone prays.

Reminds me of when I was 17 weeks pregnant with my second child. I went to the emergency room because there was blood in my urine and I’d been fighting a urinary tract infection that was only getting worse. The on call doctor at the ER was a complete quack, and after asking me to “show him where it hurts” when I explained I had blood in my urine, he finally decided that I was miscarrying (although I had no symptoms of impending miscarriage or fetal demise.) and proceeded to take hands with the two nurses, who placed their hands on my belly. The three of them stood there praying that God would “accept” my unborn child in heaven, and comfort my husband and I through our loss. I was absolutely stunned, as they never even asked if I was comfortable with such a thing occurring nor had they actually verified that my child was dying or dead. My husband still jokes that perhaps some crazy guy had snuck in a back door to the hospital and was just pretending to be a doctor.

@Cole: Since it’s your “second child”, I assume you delivered successfully?

I agree with the mentally handicapped/psychiatric comparisons. That lady sounds like a loon. I’d try and keep it all reaalll cool as long as there’s no physical contact.
If we ever have a kid, it’s a no-brainer that it will be “prayed over” eventually. Possibly even by its mother, who knows?

Who cares?

Do what you want.

Do what makes you feel good, as long as you don’t get arrested.

We are all worm food in the end.

The illogic of my fellow atheists is astounding, acting if it matters a damn what we do.

Just look at them and say, “Go home, open your Bible, and read Matthew Chapter 6, verses 5 through 7″

5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

That’s bound to shut them up and let you get by them. And if you’re really lucky, they’ll take the words to heart and never bother you again.

She did the right thing. In the same situation, I would have politely smiled, said thanks, recognizing that the woman had good intentions toward the child, and walked away so as to avoid embarrassment. Just because Christians don’t know any better doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad people. She thought she was doing your child a favour. No harm no foul. And trust me, debating with every Christian you meet is an exercise in futility. As much as I’d like to think we (atheists) were educating the public, the truth is that sometimes the public is dangerously opposed to being educated.

I think if some nice lady offers candy to your baby, you have every right to stop her. The same goes for prayer.

“Who cares?

Do what you want.

Do what makes you feel good, as long as you don’t get arrested.

We are all worm food in the end.

The illogic of my fellow atheists is astounding, acting if it matters a damn what we do.”

What???

I’m sorry, but every one of my “troll” flags just went up.

Where have I heard these arguments before? I’d almost bet my posting rights that this is some troll pretending to be an atheist.

If this person is really an atheist, s(he) needs help. Do what makes you feel good, as long as you don’t get arrested? That is moral poverty. This straw-man atheism is clearly the product of non-atheists. I can’t believe that this post is entirely forthright.

I call POE.

It’s interesting. A few months back a business acquaintance came by the house while my wife and I were in the midst of a crisis. We did our business and I told him what was going on and he offered to pray for me. I respectfully declined and he was fine with that. Usually though if someone comes to the door, JW’s for example, I listen to their spiel, accept their magazines and then toss them in the trash(the magazines). Mormon missionaries are the best though. We found out last summer that they are willing to do just about anything if given the opportunity. I got about 2 tons of rocks moved in my backyard and it only cost me a couple glasses of iced tea! Told them before and after the job that I was firm in my unbelief. Same two helped a friend move cross town too. I don’t know how to tell those mormons though not to pray for me after I die.

I think walking away is perfectly valid. But if you wanted to say something, I think it would also be reasonable to say, “Please don’t do that — we don’t share your faith.” (You don’t have to get into why exactly you don’t share their faith, or the fact that you don’t share any faith: the message that their faith isn’t universal is the crucial one.)

But I would also encourage anyone who felt comfortable doing so to say, “Please don’t do that — we’re atheists.” The single most important thing atheists can do to help our movement is to come out, as often as we can, to as many people as we can. I would never presume to tell someone else when it is and isn’t safe and appropriate to come out. But as a queer, I rarely let people get away with the assumption of heterosexuality: I almost always gently and politely correct them. I think we need to be doing the same about our atheism.

This reminds me of a similar dilemma I had in my family. My beloved grandmother passed away after a very long battle with alzheimer’s. She had been a church goer, and fond of her church community, although I don’t think she was ever a devout believer.

I later found out that my mormon cousin had paid her church to posthumously baptize her into the mormon faith, and had further paid even more to have my grandmother posthumously married to another dead mormon, all so Grandma would achieve eternal happiness married to a man she never knew in real life.

I just about hit the roof when I heard about this. It seemed so disrespectful and condescending, as if Grandma hadn’t had the sense to make her own valid choices, and to do this to her without her consent, and what about the husband she had been married to for over 50 years, etc, etc.
And then it finally dawned on me that Grandma didn’t give a damn, she was dead and buried, and I was the only one who was having a cow. The only people this benefited were my cousin (feeling self-righteous) and her church’s coffer.

I’m still deeply annoyed at my cousin, and I suspect she’ll pay her church to do the same for me after I die, but I now just treat her like others suggested above: like a crazy lady. I treat her gently, and keep her at arm’s length, at least while I’m still alive. And after that, I don’t really care.

Wendy, I don’t agree that anyone has the right to pray over anything they want to, in the physical sense of ‘over.’ They can pray over all the inanimate objects that they like, but no right can exist to pray in a public and exhibitionist fashion over another sentient being where that being ends up being caught up as the focus of the exhibitionist display.

Also, no-one has the right to touch another person without that person’s permission. And even if a right to publicly demonstrative prayer exists, so does the right of the prayee to disengage and walk away, without thanks, excuse or having to hang around politely until the ordeal is over.

I like Greta Christina’s take on it – act to reject the offered prayer with as much (polite) force as you can personally handle.

How do you think she should have handled it?

“Thanks. That reminds me: need to buy bananas.”

No kings,

Robert

I find myself mystified by Depressed Atheist:

If you are really an atheist, and depressed about it, why aren’t you trying to get help for your depression instead of posting inane, angst ridden, and empty statements on this blog?

And if you’re a christian lurking on atheist websites, and you have to artificially create comments that reflect your skewed view of atheism, then haven’t you already admitted defeat in your intent to prove us hopeless and helpless?

Clearly, the posters here are neither depressed nor hopeless, and you are the only one expressing such sentiments. Maybe that more accurately reflects on your faith?

You see, now THAT’s what I’m talking about. Zoo sounds like the real thing.
No angst, no whining, no teenage inanity.

I would just say immediately, “Stop that, please.” And walk away. There’s no need to cause a scene, but there’s no need to force my child to go through such a thing.

‘Tis simple. Just say: “Ma’am, are you quite all right?” while looking askance at her.

I’m the husband in question (that sounds distinctly odd, given the circumstances), and I need to underscore the facts of the case (crazy lady, walmart, praying) by adding that we live in fundie-obsessed Upstate South Carolina (home to the Bob Jones Mockery of Academia)… causing a scene was definitely NOT an option, given that we like our limbs affixed as they are–not as some sort of bludgeoning instruments of Christ’s enduring love and compassion at the hands of some scripture-spouting walmarter:)

Random strangers wanting to pray is kind of weird – tbh the case linked sounds unusually theatrical but still in general i’d rather they didn’t.

But if it’s friends or family or something then… let them pray if they want.

The response would need to be very specific to the situation. Few parents will not feel pleased on being complimented at how sweet / smart their child is. Much would depend upon the spirit in which the subsequent benediction is called upon the child. If I notice the slightest evangelising tilt, I may end up being curt. But otherwise I would probably just shrug it off as this person’s way of, say, doing a ‘warding the evil eye’ gesture.

[arrrg; methinks 8 links in a comment is no good]

Subscribed just to post.

I have had something similar to this happen on a bus before. My son of 2 1/2 was sitting next to me, between my wife and i. A religious woman got on the bus and sat in the seat opposite.
After trying to talk to us about jesus, she got upset we were ignoring her and stretched her hand out towards my son.
I smacked her hand away and told her we don’t allow strangers to touch our son.
She looked shocked and angry but she went and sat in a different spot on the bus.

I would never tolerate someone praying or touching my child.

The story describes a person who, if I encountered them, I would think was insane. I don’t believe sane people go around loudly praying over random other-peoples’ children in stores.

If I had a child, I would not want an insane person near my child, there’s no telling what they might do. (And before anybody gives me a lecture about being insensitive to the mentally ill, I will point out that I have a mentally ill stalker who tried to kill me several times during my childhood and eventually murdered a member of my family.) So, if this happened to me with my (hypothetical) child, I would take my child and walk away very quickly as soon as the person started their prayer thingy. And I would hope that would be the end of it.

If she pursued me, which I think is unlikely, I would shout, in a clear and very loud voice, “Stay away from my baby!” and if that didn’t deter them, I would start screaming “Help! Help! There’s a crazy person who wants to hurt my baby!” and run out of the store as fast as I can.

Quite frankly, I don’t people would see me as “evil atheist making a scene” so much as they would see me as “parent trying to protect his child from nut”. But if asked for an explanation, I would state that she approached my child and started shouting and jumping up and down and “reached for my baby!” …And that would be the end of it. No civilized person would take issue with me running away from her.

It is one thing when some nut wants to pray about me. No big deal. But when somebody tries to do something weird around a baby, it’s time to protect the baby, not worry about manners.

My husband and I have taken to shouting theatrically “DON’T LOSE YOUR SOOOOULLLLL!” instead of “bless you” when we sneeze. I’m hoping it will catch on.

This is a personal space and safety issue. I do not have kids but I would want to tell that woman to get the hell away from my child and me. VERY loudly.

Saying someone will pray is one thing. It sounds like she was making a scene all her own.

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post, since this is more of an atheist community, I just wanted to voice some of my thoughts on it.

Wow, I’ve never seen that happen. I’m pretty sure if I myself was confronted (is that the right word? I’m going to go with it) by a woman praying vigorously for my child and adding to the fact that I didn’t know the woman, I’d be a little more than put off. Short of using my cart to blockade her whilst I make my escape

Instead of saying “bless you,” my wife and I say, “Yay Darwin!” This simultaneously celebrates the natural origins of the sneeze, while flying in the face of superstition.

Come on. Everyone is missing a powerful opportunity here. That lady needed to be lead to the meat department so that she could help you wave a dead chicken over the baby and chant with you.