Why Did Mark Sanford Have an Affair? Gay Marriage

Oh satire, how I enjoy you:

South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford released another statement today, this time blaming her husband’s affair on the declining moral values in America.

“Of course I’m not saying that Mark is gay,” Sanford said, “but he may as well be. The moral decay in this country has claimed another victim and this time it was my family. Our marriage was perfect until these laws started passing around the country. Clearly the slow dissolution of the sanctity of marriage in America seeped into Mark’s psyche until he no longer felt compelled to abide by our vows.”

“It’s finally happened,” said Rush Limbaugh, conservative radio personality. “America, I’ve been warning you for years that gay marriage would destroy the American family and look… there they are, a husband, wife, and four children — destroyed. When is this going to stop America? When will the liberals be satisfied? When all the marriages break up? This wasn’t Mark Sanford’s fault, this was Ted Kennedy’s fault. Sanford didn’t cheapen the value of marriage, he was victimized by the cheapening of marriage.”

Gay marriage = Also the reason my former governor Rod Blagojevich was tempted to sell a senate seat.

(Thanks to grazatt for the link!)

  • http://slightlysouthofsane.com Tony

    Having sex with a woman that is not your wife is the result of gay’s gaining rights in America? Somehow I don’t think my wife will let me get away with that.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    The above bit, in which Limbaugh blames Sanford’s infidelity on gay marriage is parody.

    Reality, in which Limbaugh blamed Sanford’s infidelity on Obama is self-parody.

  • joel

    So conservatives think that allowing gay marriage is causing families to break up. These people are completely abdicating their moral responsibility and are using homosexuals as scapegoats. Mark Sanford lied and cheated on his wife. That’s his own damn fault and no one else’s. These blowhards literally will use anything as an excuse to display their bigotry. I’m ashamed that I used to count my self as one of them.

  • http://dyfl.blogspot.com nathaniel wallace

    just so we’re clear, this is parody/satire, correct? i followed the link and read a bit further, but i am still unconvinced. i don’t want to go crazy blaming rush limbaugh for something that he didn’t say. or hasn’t said yet, anyway…

  • http://www.freewebs.com/guitarsean Sean

    Yes, at the bottom of the page from the linked story

    © 2009 theDiscust. The editorial content of this site is satire and parody. Real news is clearly marked. Lighten up

    It is satire…

  • SarahH

    Hemant! You should totally make a more obvious reference in this post to the satirical nature of the quote, because I totally had to double-check too.

    Maybe put SATIRE in all caps? I think I missed it because a) “satire” wasn’t the first word in your lead-in sentence, b) there was no goofy picture like the ones that often accompany joke articles and c) I’m a really, really lazy reader sometimes and skim.

    So, clearly, you should add a goofy picture to this, and all will be well.

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    It was good satire, because at first reading, I believed it.

    Poe strikes again.

  • joel

    Well, now I feel like an idiot. Regardless, the rhetoric from the right is so freaking ridiculous, it is sometimes difficult to distinguish satire from the real deal.

  • Alan E.

    I must say, that this link will have a record number of clickthroughs. That website should pay you for the way you set this up. It totally seems real. It even could be real, which is even scarier.

  • http://wearesoulless.blog.com/ Soulless

    Poe’s Law in effect.

  • Stephan

    Damn you Poe, you win again!

  • http://www.tikiwebgroup.com tiki god

    This is poorly done satire that’s labeled as the truth. I wish I had a rubber stamp that I could just hit each site that’s mislabeling it’s content and stamp it “satire” so people that come after me won’t think this is actually what that poor lady thinks.

    Isn’t there laws against slander like this?

  • http://www.BlueNine.info Blue Nine

    Like some others, I am having a difficult time distinguishing between conservatives and parodies of conservatives.

    Or perhaps I should just abdicate responsibility for my actions and blame The Gays.

  • Jake

    Really?? Geez….So next time I cheat on a test…its the gays fault! lol Oh how the crazy right make me angry and laugh all at the same time….

  • littlejohn

    Poe’s law, indeed! It reminds me of the study a few months ago showing that political conservatives, after watching the Colbert Report, are usually convinced that Colbert is sincerely conservative. Only the liberals get it. BTW, I fell for this gay marriage story myself. It is indistinguishable from the type of crap normally spewed by Limbaugh. Of COURSE it’s Ted Kennedy’s fault that Sanford flew down to Argentina to visit his mistress!

  • CatBallou

    Tiki god, where is it labeled as the truth?

  • Randy

    The Limbaugh statement is what made me think it was real at first.

  • Grimalkin

    Ha! Wow, Poe’s law in action.

    I think?…

  • Kyle

    No, really? You mean that heterosexuals of both genders NEVER had affairs before gay marriage? *GASP* What is this world coming to?

  • David

    Poe’s law is in full force here — it is difficult to read this as satire unless you know a priori


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