How to Meet, Date, and Woo Atheist Women

I always hear people talking about where they can meet other atheists for dating/mating purposes. So I put the question out to several atheist lady-friends and the Twitter/Facebook worlds: What do the rest of us need to know in order to woo female atheists?

The response was overwhelming. I’ve compiled the advice below from what they said (along with my own thoughts).

  • #1: Know where to look
    • Not at her boobs (see Step 3).
    • Meetings of local or campus atheist groups.
    • Certain college classes: Political science, Geology, Biology, Philosophy, etc. (Classes involving small group discussions are a plus.)
    • Sci-fi conventions
    • Coffee Shops
    • Used bookstores
    • Atheist message boards.
    • Facebook — It’s possible to do a direct search in your network for atheists, agnostics, humanists, and Pastafarians (seriously).
    • Twitter — You can search for the term “atheist” or connect with friends of known atheists.
    • YouTube — If you search for “atheist,” you’ll find that several awesome ladies post videos on there. Does one live near you? Profess your love. Know that every other person is doing the same thing and you may be rejected or ignored.
    • The blogosphere — To the women who blog, we all salute you.
    • Catholic high schools (If you’re over 18, please ignore this one).

  • #2: Try the dating websites
  • Salon/Nerve/Onion = Great for atheists. Those sites are all part of the same network.

    OKCupid = Good for atheists. And free! (How could you not love a site that has a section called “stalkers”?)

    Match = Decent for atheists.

    eHarmony = Not so good for atheists. The founder is a conservative Christian and that doesn’t help us. Plus, those commercials are so damn annoying…

    Craigslist = Would you like some gonorrhea to go with that herpes?

    (Actually, Craigslist is fine… but your best bet is to post your own ad — saying a little bit about yourself and the type of person you’re looking for — and then learn to weed out the crazies.)

  • #3: Be social. But don’t pounce
  • When you go to atheist gatherings, definitely talk to the ladies.

    Try to be smooth.

    The problem isn’t that no one talks to the women; the problem is that way too many people talk to the women… all at once… the moment they step into the room.

    And most of the guys are creepy.

    Don’t be one of them.

    Look presentable. Put your glasses on straight. Suck in the gut. Shower. Floss. Cologne is good when measured in drops.

    Don’t bring up your collection of Star Trek memorabilia. Save that for the second date. (Or never… unless she’s into them, too.)

    Don’t stare at her boobs. Save that for the third date. (Or just be subtle.)

  • #4: Looking like this scores you bonus points
  • Hugh_Laurie_HouseMD

    Or this:

    Tyson

    If you need surgery to make the transformation happen, go for it.

  • #5: Have something to talk about other than atheism
  • Believe it or not, there are plenty of other topics worth discussing.

    We all love meeting someone else who feels the same way about God and astrology and Tom Cruise. But once that’s understood, it’s time to move on.

    It’s also not pleasant to hear someone trashing religious people all night.

    Read books, be up-to-date on current events, know how to tell a good story, know something about sports (better yet, play one), listen to music that isn’t on the radio, watch movies that play in only a handful of theaters.

    If the Flying Spaghetti Monster comes up in conversation, don’t attempt a joke about what you do with your noodly appendage. It will fail.

    Bringing up This American Life or Mythbusters scores you bonus points.

  • #6: When not at an atheist gathering, it helps to carry around a New Atheist book
  • If you’re sitting in an airport or a coffee shop, just break out that copy of The God Delusion. You don’t have to be reading it. Just look like you’re reading it. The atheist ladies will flock to you. That book is like a Bat signal for the godless.

    It also helps to just be public about your atheism. How will the ladies find you if you’re closeted?

    Fact: If you have a Darwin Fish on your car, or a Scarlet A sticker on your computer/manpurse (murse?), atheist ladies will chase after you.

  • #7: It may be useful to accurately gauge the woman’s degree of atheism
  • If it turns out you and she are similarly secular, you are one step ahead of the game.

    How do you find that out?

    Begin by tossing around words like “secular” and “agnostic” and check out her reaction. If she’s already freaked out, run away. If she seems responsive, this is good news.

    Then try throwing out a “Pastafarian” or “Humanist.” If she stares at you blankly, run away. If she laughs or nods approvingly, you’re on the right track.

    Then mention “PZ Myers.”

    If her reaction is like this…

    freaked_out

    or this…

    South-Park-Eric-Cartman

    … she may be the one for you.

    Either one works. Because it’s all about name recognition and there is no in-between with PZ :)

  • #8: Just because she is an atheist, do not assume you know what she thinks about everything else
  • Not all atheist women are swingers.

    Some of them may be looking for a long-term relationship. Some may not want to ever get married. Some may not be pro-choice or vote Democrat. Some may actually like certain aspects of religion.

    Some may want to have babies for non-digesting purposes.

    You’ll have to discover all these things on your own.

  • #9: Do not automatically discount a non-atheist
  • It is very possibly that you meet someone you like who is a very religious person. Or just moderately theistic. Or Jewish.

    If you have fun and get along, maybe religion is a barrier you can overlook at first. Maybe she’s an atheist who hasn’t realized it yet. Maybe she’s someone who has never questioned her faith before but is interested in what you have to say. And, yes, maybe it’ll be a barrier you can’t overcome. You never know.

    Moral of the story: You don’t automatically have to set your dating website search filters on “atheist” only.

  • #10: Be ready to have a duel with the atheist who is already dating her.
  • If you meet the woman of your dreams, you’ll find out quickly that she’s already seeing somebody. In this case, you must be prepared to do battle. I suggest becoming a fencing or jousting expert.

Now, get out there and breed!

If I missed anything important, please let me know. Thanks to everyone who offered their thoughts!

(Inspired by The Park Bench)

  • http://hoverfrog.wordpress.com hoverFrog

    I have only one bit of dating advice: don’t pretend to be something that you’re not.

    Actually that’s not even dating advice, it’s just general advice. The goal of dating is to have lots of casual sex find someone who complements your own personality and who increases your own happiness. You can only find this person if you are both not pretending to be someone else.

    Also why would you want to look like Bertie Wooster?

  • http://garics.blogspot.com Garic

    Even better advice than putting a scarlet letter A on your manpurse: don’t carry a manpurse.

  • Chal

    If the God Delusion is a bat signal for the godless, what’s I Sold My Soul on eBay? A dog whistle?

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    That’s all good advice but perhaps some female atheists can speak up and say what they are looking for in a prospective male mate. I’m sure our gay and lesbian friends might also appreciate some wisdom that meets their needs.

    I’m just glad I’m already married…

  • Mat

    What Jeff said. It’s hard enough picking out the atheists sometimes, let alone the gay ones.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Beth

    I agree with Jeff. Show what we women want, too!

  • http://www.zeekeekee.wordpress.com Nessie

    As one of those female atheists, I agreed with most of this post. And personally, for prospectives, looking like Hugh Laurie wouldn’t hurt ;)

  • Tom

    Showing that you are considerate of what women feel is important to earning their trust. Writing more on that would score you some real points, Hemant! I mean, listen to the women on this site, they like to see someone who is sensitive to who they are.

    I always laugh at the guys who are all about “scoring chicks.” Not only do they waste a lot of their time, they offend plenty of women out there.

    So, get in touch with your emotional side

  • Dvoree

    A female’s advice: Make sure you know what you’re talking about. Nothing turns a female atheist off more than when the prospective partner fails to make a point, hopelessly loses his thoughts, or flouders on some of her more inquisitive questions. We aren’t female atheists for nothing.

  • http://thinkerspodium.wordpress.com Bruce Everett

    I have a three point system for looking for atheist women.

    1. Find a nice bar.

    2. Raise God over breakfast the next morning.

    If she’s religious (and don’t think that there aren’t religious ladies who do one-nighters), you may not have to worry about giving her a fake number. If she’s religious but is okay with your atheism, treat her like an atheist friend – she’ll be fine.

    If she’s an atheist, subtly hint that you consider marriage to be a construct of religious culture that the world would be better without and that you just seek to see to people’s needs rather than conform to type. Give her your real number, but don’t give her any illusions about commitment.

    3. See step 1.

    :P

  • http://gusonthought.blogspot.com Gustavo Keener

    I really enjoyed this!

  • Skunque

    I don’t think that atheist women are all *that* hard to find, at least not in the younger set!

    I’m paired, and thus off the market, but the most important piece of advice I would give to anyone with dating woes is that your gender-of-choice is a PERSON first, ${gender} second. They have more in common with you than they have differences. Don’t lose sight of that or you will have a long BITTER road ahead.

    #3 – All excellent advice EXCEPT the Star Trek thing. If it’s “you”, bring it up, just don’t go overboard or you will seem self centered. When I was single I (smoothly, I’m sure, LOL) inserted my love love LOVE of Doctor Who, Star Trek etc.

    #5 – oh yes, don’t allow your self to be seen as a one-issue person. You’ve established common non religiousity, now get to know the person like you would on any other date: what you do, where you grew up, interests etc. convo on atheism should be used only when it is a natural flow of discussion.

    #6 sounds cheesy but it’s actually a good idea. And it’s so low-pressure too. Just don’t necessarily assume that if a guy/girl initiates a conversation about The God Delusion that they are *also* attracted to you. They might be, but they might just be social or in need of meeting other atheists. Look for *other* cues of attraction before asking them out, or at least don’t get bent out of shape if they are not interested or already paired.

    #8 – who thinks all atheist women are swingers? Is this a common misconception?? Otherwise, spot on.

    #9 – eh, I suppose that depends on what kind of atheist YOU are. I’ve dated the most moderate and liberal theists, or unaffiliated-but-into-random-woo types, and it ALWAYS became an issue. Even if we broke up for other reasons, I still couldn’t see it moving forward to the next level.

    #10 – I am glad that #10 looks like a joke bullet, otherwise if some male atheist tried to displace Chris from my life via violent battle, I would substitute *myself* in as my personal champion ala Belanna Torres in “Voyager” (haha, there’s my subtle slipping-in of Star Trek geekdom). So you’d better be prepared to hit a girl.

  • Erik

    If you have fun and get along, maybe religion is a barrier you can overlook at first. Maybe she’s an atheist who hasn’t realized it yet. Maybe she’s someone who has never questioned her faith before but is interested in what you have to say. And, yes, maybe it’ll be a barrier you can’t overcome. You never know.

    Religion is a barrier that can always be overcome if everything else matches and the people are understanding. DO NOT think you will change them, that is a recipe for disaster. The only hope for interfaith relationships is to accept that both people have carefully thought about their beliefs and there must be mutual respect on that basis. Listen to the voice of experience…I’m going on 3.5 years of a Christian/Atheist relationship and we’re still very happy.

  • Infinite Monkey

    @ Jeff

    I’m one of those gays who would appreciate some wisdom also. Should I ask a guy if he’s like to meet up for a baby sandwich and movie?

  • mikespeir

    I can’t get past step #4.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Hemant Mehta

    If the God Delusion is a bat signal for the godless, what’s I Sold My Soul on eBay? A dog whistle?

    You use I Sold My Soul only if you want to meet the *coolest* women ever.

    I’m keeping that secret to myself.

  • suzanna

    #5: Have something to talk about other than atheism

    Believe it or not, there are plenty of other topics worth discussing.

    as well as

    #10: Be ready to have a duel with the atheist who is already dating her.

    are right on the money

    there is nothing worse then when there is nothing else to say to the prowler aside from the already established ground of atheism, yet they continue to talk as if they are interesting

    if we have atheism in common, i don’t need to know all about yours, and i definitely don’t need the theist rebuttal most atheists have memorized for when they run into a religious person.

    also, don’t give me a library lists worth of books to read (this goes double for philosophy lovers). truth is, i’m probably in the middle of several other books right now and if you give me a laundry list, i will never get around to reading any.
    in this case, the best idea is to suggest a book swap. that way you ensure you get to see that pretty little atheist you have you eye on several times, and you get to puff out your chest a bit with all your good books.

  • bronwynm

    #4 alternative: make her laugh

    also, with respect to #4: different women find different things attractive. Neither man pictured above does anything for me!

  • http://noadi.blogspot.com Noadi

    Advice from a female:

    Respect my intelligence. This should go without saying in the atheist community but sometimes guys don’t realize the impact of certain things they say. Never say “you wouldn’t understand it” or “it would bore you” or anything along those lines if I ask you to explain something. If my eyes glaze over it’s my own fault for asking.

  • Evinfuilt

    Funny thing about that fencing bit.

    That’s how I met her, and I even lost the duel… But put up enough of a show she caved and took me.

  • lizzyshoe

    Respect yourself without being arrogant. Low self-esteem is very unattractive. Compensating for that by trying to make the people around you feel stupid is worse.

  • Peregrine

    Some Christian friends of mine had a similar discussion last weekend, talking about looking for a relationship with someone who shares their beliefs, and I thought “Why?”

    Why limit yourself to the few prospects who share similar ideals? You could have a perfectly good, meaningful relationship with someone who has different ideals, but is nonetheless supportive of your spirituality (or lack thereof, as the case may be).

    I’m an atheist, and my wife is sort of a non-practicing Wiccan. We’ve been married for 4 years, we’ve been together for 9, and I wouldn’t change a thing. If I’d passed up the opportunity, and waited for an atheist woman instead, I’d imagine I’d still be single.

    Part of me wonders if my Christian friends aren’t still single in part because their standards are so high, wanting to only date other Christians, (and not just other Christians, but Christians who take their faith as seriously as they do)

    Oh, hey, look, there’s a preview down there. Cool. Didn’t see that before. I’ll have to unblock scripts when I get back to my desk. No spellcheck, though, so… sorry if I screwed up any words.

  • Cypress Green

    I love the book thing. My ex bought my kid the O’Riley’s books for kids. I am now forced to read them, but take the dustcovers off and haven’t let anyone spot the title on the spine when I’ve taken them out.

    Sense of humor is VERY important. Then If you date a theist it will usually go ok. My husband is a former catholic/born again now-an-agnostic because of me.
    If they can’t laugh at a sick Jesus joke, it’s not worth your time.

  • SarahH

    That’s all good advice but perhaps some female atheists can speak up and say what they are looking for in a prospective male mate.

    Hemant e-mailed a bunch of his atheist lady friends to compile the advice. I was one of them :-) Although I tried to wear him down to advising NO cologne. I guess a drop or two is close enough to a victory, lol.

    • http://www.facebook.com/kruszer Kristine Kruszelnicki

      I agree with you! Cologne is a turn-off as it makes an increasing amount of people sick. Showering and a good unscented deodorant is usually more than adequate if you’re not doing a workout.

  • http://blaghag.blogspot.com/ Jennifurret

    I’m also one of the lady friends…and I’ve been known to drive after cute guys with FSM emblems.

    Oh, and mmmmmm Hugh Laurie

  • Epistaxis

    What’s the big attraction to Hugh Laurie? Ladies like men who don’t know how to shave?

  • Thumpalumpacus

    My son’s mother and I had five good years before we split. Her Catholicism didn’t bug me, nor did my atheism bother her. We’d occasionally discuss our different views, with the caveat that there was to be no insulting, degrading, etc. Gave me much insight into her religion. Put her on the road to agnopsticism, which is where she’s at now, I think.

    So whether a woman’s atheist or not is unimportant. Is she good-hearted? Smart? Hotter than July in Austin? You know, the important stuff.

  • http://avertyoureye.blogspot.com/ Teleprompter

    -1. It helps to look like Hugh Laurie or Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

    -2. Low self-esteem is unattractive.

    This is a quandary.

  • AnonyMouse

    @Epistaxis: That’s exactly it, actually. You don’t even have to get surgery to look like him; just grow some grayish stubble and they’ll fall all over you. (Unless you have a round face, in which case you’ll just look stupid. Go for a full beard or a nice goatee instead.)

    Piercing blue eyes don’t hurt, either. ;)

  • http://miketice.com grimmlock

    i have an FSM and pirate fish on my truck, on my windows laptop, and on my Mac, but that doesn’t seem to do any good. is it perhaps the area i live in? maybe people in SE ohio just don’t understand what the FSM is?

  • «bønez_brigade»

    I was actually reading The God Delusion whilst traveling via air across the U.S. a couple of years ago. In the terminals, on the planes, even whilst walking, with that unmistakable silver/orange cover right there in plain view of the masses. Nothing. No looks, no winks, no comments, no response of any sort — not even from offended fundie chicks.

    Then again, I don’t exactly look like Laurie or Tyson…

    [Plenty of notes taken, though. Thanks, Hemant!]

  • «bønez_brigade»

    Then again #2, I was reading the book, with eyes buried deep in the pages…

  • ATL-Apostate

    So, staring at boobs is a BAD thing?

    NOW he tells me!

    back to the drawing board.

  • Roy

    @Skunque

    Yay for Klingon mating rituals. (couldn’t find a vid of Dax and Worf fighting so this will have to do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4OpNWjaI5w&feature=PlayList&p=E2C9A3D51627B4D3&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=47)

  • Heidi

    #5: Ooh, Mythbusters!

    As for looking like those guys, the thing I find most attractive about both of them is that they look pretty intelligent. (I know Tyson is. Don’t know about Laurie, though.) But look at Adam Savage from Mythbusters. (If you’re over 30 you may remember him as the drowning nerd boy in Billy Joel’s You’re Only Human video.) Who doesn’t love Adam? Smart + funny = win.

  • Jen

    Dueling is hot.

    So are manpurses.

  • http://hoverfrog.wordpress.com hoverfrog

    Meh! Hugh Laurie, ‘e’s got both ‘is eyes and lacks fer a hat. I’ll be wagering he’s never sailed the seven seas in search o’ booty in ‘is life. Th’ landlubber’s prob’ly got all ‘is teeth ‘en all. No saucy wench’d worth a sea biscuit would go fer a stripling like ‘im. Yarr!

  • ringtailroxy

    i attended my local Atheist & Secular Humanist group monthly meeting about 18 months ago.

    here are the 5 reasons why i never attended another meeting & unsubscribed from their YahooGroup…

    1.) all the guys where paunchy, older, slovenly, had stains on their shirts, where obese, or where hounding me.the only decent looking guy had an authentic looking Star Trek emblem on his oxford shirt

    2.) no male made eye contact with me when i was addressing them…very annoying. i have pretty grey eyes. look into them when i am speaking to you.

    3.) the atheist arguments i heard where as passionate, forceful, and belligerent as the very religious rhetoric i thought that atheists where so against! if you don’t want Jehovah’s Witnesses shoving the Watchtower in your face, don’t automatically begin to harass those you meet randomly on the street because they wear a cross or have a Jesus fish on their minivan.

    4.) i only needed 1 man to offer me a drink, not 5 men all offering me a drink. i didn’t come to get schnockered & gang banged by a group of godless men (although it is a secret fantasy of mine), i came to hear intelligent conversation

    5.) & lastly…
    after the meeting, i lingered and spoke to other members about school & local events…when i thought i heard live music. i love a local dive with live music-so i walked out of the room we where in, and saw 5 of the grown male Atheist members…playing RockBand! complete with a micro-mini drumset, bass, & guitar. that did it. never went back.

    not all intellectuals are nerds, not all geeks like Harry Potter, & not all cute blondes with big boobs only want to fulfill aging atheists’ fantasies…

  • http://www.DangerousTalk.net DangerousTalk

    While I met my wife on Yahoo Personals when the whole internet dating thing was new, I was trying to hook up my brother recently and believe it or not, he was able to get a few good dates with atheist women on eharmony. It may be a Christian website, but atheists got here too.

    I will also say that comic conventions are a good place to meet atheist women too. My wife loves them. And just because an atheist woman is with a guy don’t assume that she is “with” a guy… biblically speaking, lol.

  • Sabrina

    Ringtailroxy, you should give it another chance. I started going to meet ups of my atheist group a couple of years ago. there were not alot of women, and some of the men were downright hostile that my boyfriend was a Christian, but I was an atheist. Its like, since I was an atheist, I was obligated to date one of them. Whatever. (by the way, I’ve been with my Xian bf for four years now, and no problems). Anyway, two years later, theres lots of women, a lot more younger, attractive, non geeky (but still very intellectual) guys, and its alot more fun. I think atheism is getting more popular, and, a lot of younger people are trying to find people that think like them. But, I totally get what you’re saying :) Thats how I felt, but, now I love my meet ups. And no more creepy come ons!!! Yay!!

  • Kay

    I agree with the Catholic high school thing :D its all a fucking joke to us. almost all my classmates are atheists/agnostics.

  • SarahH

    Another tip I just remembered: if you’re going for the cute, shaggy, Beatles look with your hair, wash it and condition it every day (or at LEAST every other day). If you’re not committed to good hair hygiene, cut it nice and short. Either way can be sexy, but long, greasy hair is most definitely NOT.

    Greasy hair seems to be a problem for many of the geeky/nerdy guys I know (a group that overlaps majorly with atheist guys), and I suspect it’s because they just keep forgetting to wash their hair or get a haircut because it doesn’t occur to them, and there are so many books to read and classes to go to and sci-fi shows to watch and debates to have and video games to play… and they forget that all the sci-fi loving, video-game playing chicks out there are going to be grossed out by greasy hair, lol.

  • Zahada

    As an female atheist I will say that for me its not about whether you are atheist or not – although that is preferable.

    It’s about whether you are a well-adjusted and open minded human being.

    Don’t bother to talk to me if you

    a) are an alcoholic or substance abuser of any kind – and I mean true abuse as defined by an professional.

    b) have anger or other emotional issues and put holes in walls.

    c) your ego can’t handle an intellectual conversation with someone who is an equal…know when to agree to disagree – you don’t have to be right 100% of the time.

    d) have insecurity issues so severe that you must try to control my behavior, what I like, don’t like, and what I do.

  • http://bharath.name bharath

    Wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You are ultra cool.

    >Now, get out there and breed!

  • absent sway

    “Ladies like men who don’t know how to shave?”

    Mmm, indeed I do. I love me some scruff like other women love muscles.

    Ultimately, it’s like Heidi said: “Smart + funny = win.” Cute helps but the other two are just as essential.

  • beijingrrl

    Not all atheist women are swingers, but all of the atheist women I know, myself included, really love sex.

    The women I know don’t have the hang-ups that a lot of religious women do. We love having men who recognize us as intellectual equals and who also recognize that our sex drives are as strong as theirs.

    So remember that while we are enjoying having that deep, philosophical discussion with you, it’s probably making us really hot. Proceed cautiously, but do take a chance and make a move.

  • Philosos

    So now that all the atheist women have come out of the darkness, maybe the single ones can make themselves known and can head over to the forum and the guys can make their case.

  • http://thebitchreport.blogspot.com/ Milena

    in this case, the best idea is to suggest a book swap. that way you ensure you get to see that pretty little atheist you have you eye on several times, and you get to puff out your chest a bit with all your good books.

    Yes.

    Also, scruff is reeeeaaaaally hot! And engineers. Although that might just be me.

    Seriously though, being confident, smart, funny, engaging, and respectful are the most important things. I don’t want to be told that I’m less (intelligent, sexual, interesting, whatever) than a man, or treated like it.

  • Sage

    ENOUGH with the anti-Trek prejudice. Before I’d ever watched Trek, or even knew who Kirk and Spock were, I met a guy who collects Starships and makes Star Trek fanfilms, and was attracted to him specifically BECAUSE he wasn’t afraid to be associated with something deemed “socially unacceptable”. After this, he converted me to a Trekkie, and I’ve never looked back. Especially in light of the success of the (somewhat canonically scandalous) new movie, this anti-Trek prejudice should be a thing of the past.

  • Julie

    So where’s the guide to picking up atheist men??? We need that!

    Also I once talked to a guy on the bus only because he was reading The God Delusion… so yes, it works!

  • http://www.evolvedrational.com Evolved Rationalist

    What’s with all the Trekkie hate?

    I’m an atheist woman, and Trekkies make me horny. :)

  • Philosos

    From personal experience most people who hate Star Trek, have never watched more than 2 or 3 episodes and the people who dislike Trekkies don’t like the ones that are of the extremist variety and may have a valid point in doing so. Anything to the extreme can get annoying FAST.

    Julie, you seriously need a guide to picking up Atheist men? I think this depends on region and if you are in an urban or suburban setting. Some regions may be harder than others.

    ***vulcan salute*** – Dif-tor heh smusma

  • gribblethemunchkin

    Julie

    As an atheist man i recommend

    1) turn up
    2) bring beer

    Although my friends have called me easy in the past.

  • http://terrierchica.blogspot.com erica

    I’m with julie — where to find the atheist guys? And not those ball-less agnostics.

    Guys seem to not want to talk religion, like, ever…because I’m an atheist. The only guys I meet that are actually cool and open are laid-back Jews. And they’re awesome.

    And you’d think in my area (boston!) it’d be easy to find them! But all I find is drunk frat boys and yuppies. :-(

  • AnonyMouse

    Just don’t talk Trek on the pick-up, ‘kay? Save it for the first or second date. And keep it short unless the woman shows a vested interest in it. And keep the discussion fairly short; don’t start a Kirk vs. Picard or start rambling about Klingon culture. I like Star Trek, but I’d rather talk about you than it.

  • MaryLynne

    Grimmlock,

    First step for you might be “Move out of Cincinnati.” Or try the UU churches – one in Clifton, one in Finneytown. I had great conversations with atheists at both.

  • Tina

    The real question is, what isn’t attractive about Hugh L? Nothing. Rugged, intelligent, British accent. Anyways…..

    When my atheist husband found me, I wasn’t completely convinced of the whole “No god” thing. I was right on the edge and just needed a tiny little nudge to non-belief.

    Maybe single atheist men can just look for open minded thinkers and push them over? It certainly would open up more possibilities. But really, if someone isn’t a crazy “I speak the truth and you’re going to hell” religious person, it’s probably worth a shot if there is a true connection there.

  • gribblethemunchkin

    What is this Hugh Laurie thing?

    Maybe its just that i grew up with him on blackadder as the idiot Georges, or as the goofy comic with Stephen Fry on Fry and Laurie, but it seems that as soon as he forgets to shave the girls all swoon.

    Not that i’m complaining, as a beard wearer i prefer more ladies to be into hairiness :)

  • Charon

    I was reading The God Delusion on a bus once… the girl across from stood up to leave the bus, and only then did I notice that she was reading it too. She was cute, too. Damn missed chance.

    It is ridiculously hard to find atheist women in the US, though. Or maybe I just have bad luck. I met my current gf when she was a graduate student in a physical sciences department at a major research university in a large, very liberal city. And she’s a theist. Gah!

    And about Hugh Laurie, my gf says he got better with age. Not at all attractive in Blackadder, Jeeves & Wooster, etc. Definitely hot House-era. And by the 4th (last) season of A Bit of Fry and Laurie, he was beginning to look pretty good, apparently.

    Dunno. She thinks Alan Rickman is hot too. All right, he’s got an awesome voice, but attractive – and as Snape, too? A fat, pasty, old wanna-be goth?

    On the other hand, if she thinks men get more attractive as they age, all the better for me, I suppose :)

  • LKL

    Some of the geeky girls were harassed by the testosterone-laden crowd just like the geeky guys were, except with a sexual element added in. If you’re into girl-geeks, establishing yourself as trustworthy is often an absolutely essential first step.

  • Godlessliberal

    If you want to meet godless girls in the US I recomend the Western Washington. It’s full to bursting with well educated, brunette, jesus-hating liberals. Most drink cocktails, listen to NPR and hate football. Basically, it’s the opposite of Texas.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1377173672 Bryan Richards

      AMEN! Seattle here I come. The west side of the state is just sad. Spokane has been my home for so long. I’m not sure how I’d handle the move.

  • scorpisan

    I am married, 2 children, to a woman that is religious. We have 2 children in common and that is about all. Been too long and the only consolation are the kids and I do everything for them. We don’t fight but we know it is not working. If ever get out or have courage to get out, I WILL NEVER date any religious woman unless super cool and very liberal. BTW I look Tyson, slimmer but without his intelligence and have many female friends, married and single.

    The lady “ringtailroxy” is right. Upon getting to this southern state 3 years ago, I went to free thinker’s meetup. The male members are exactly like ringtailroxy described that even I was turned off. Even I wanted to meet women and men like myself not paunchy, older, slovenly, ones with stains on their shirts. I think I’ll buy Richard Dawkins scarlet “A” lapel pin for for when I put on jacket.

  • Tim

    eHarmony may be run by a religious tool, but the site is pretty damn good if you put in the work and are willing to fork over a couple hundred bucks (it takes time). I found quite a few atheist matches. I married one and am still good friends with the other.

    Their survey and profile system does take religion and religious importance into account and it seems to match appropriately.

    I was matched with some theists too, but nobody far out there. Plus, I indicated I was open minded to “spiritual but not religious” so I’m sure that was part of it.

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  • Andie Pandie

    I do number 6 all the time. Also, I’m on POF and for a dating suggestion I write Sunday brunch. It’s a good way to tell how churchy someone is. Hey, I live in Kansas, finding a cute Atheist is impossible to find here.

  • richard meg

    If you’re looking for a casual
    fun relationship, I think golobogirls.com might be very useful for you.


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