Failed Activities for Atheist Groups

School will start up again shortly and atheist campus group leaders are planning out activities for the year.

Jen is asking her group members for advice. They’re not helping:

Member: We could have an atheist bacchanalia orgy
Me: Why is that the number one suggestion I get from everyone?

It would never work. No one would know what to scream during the action. (*rim shot*)

The best option here is obviously strip-Dungeons & Dragons.

  • Chas

    How about a Friday night baby boil?

  • peregrine

    Maybe missed something after all hanging out with the mixed-faith crowd.

  • SarahH

    When we discussed charity fundraiser events for our secular humanist group in college, I seriously suggested a variation on strip poker, where we would get as many items of clothing as possible from our closets (and our friends’ closets), wear swim suits underneath (or decent underwear) and play until all the clothes were off. People would have to pay to hang out and watch (and there would be punch and pie, obviously) and all the clothes would be donated to a shelter.

    No one went for it, mostly because they were poor college students and didn’t want to give up any of their clothes.

  • http://dylanFogle.com dylan

    wisest wizard or wizard sticks 21 and over please

  • http://blaghag.blogspot.com/ Jennifurret

    Ooo man, I love that strip poker idea. Unfortunately I also don’t think anyone would have clothes to donate.

    I kind of wanted to organize a “Presidential Date Auction” where all the officers from various clubs around campus get sold off in an auction, with the proceeds going to a charity we all agree on…but I think that’s just me desperately wanting a date =P

  • Reckless

    My group was thinking abut doing an atheist barbecue.

    Then someone pointed out that was slightly reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition, and we decided against it…

  • http://thenaturalbuddhist.blogspot.com JohnFrost

    Don’t laugh, Hemant; I’ve actually played strip Magic: the Gathering before. Of course, that was while I was still Christian… O_o

  • http://www.nonsensepodcast.com/ Arthwollipot

    Now you’ve got me trying to work out the game mechanics for strip D&D.

    You could do one item of clothing every time you gain a level if you massively accelerated experience point gains. But no, that wouldn’t work. Perhaps hit points? Most characters have a lot more hit points than players have articles of clothing though. Perhaps one item per x hit points? You’d need to balance it between the different classes with varying numbers of hit points – otherwise the Sorceror would have to start the game practically naked…

    Hmm. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea after all.

  • peregrine

    In my experience, D&D games never result in nudity. And I am eternally grateful.

  • http://logofveritas.blogspot.com Veritas

    Hemant….that’s the best idea ever. I may be playing in the only D&D group in known existence where that would be a good idea. I’ll suggest it tomorrow.

  • Simon

    @Arthwollipot;

    In the new 4th Edition, I would go for the ‘healing surges’.
    And set the cute girl has the group’s paladin.

  • Jeannette

    The Liberty kids here in Lynchburg have “Family Night” where they get together with essentially a bible study group. Sometimes they do a potluck or make something together. Sometimes it’s just a movie night or a bonfire.

    I guess you could turn those into “strip” activities too, but I’d be extremely careful with a “strip bonfire”

  • Miko

    @Simon: Let’s not perpetuate the rumor that 4th edition is really D&D.

    I say tie it to spot checks. Frequency is about right, and it almost makes sense.

  • http://logofveritas.blogspot.com Veritas

    Miko, thanks for saying that.

  • Pony

    Q. What do atheists scream during sex?

    A. Your name.

  • Nomadz


    Me: Why is that the number one suggestion I get from everyone?

    Because bacchanalia orgies are freaking awesome !

  • gribblethemunchkin

    All the DnD geeks are popping out from the woodwork. And yes, lets not confuse 4th ed with DnD :)

    How about a atheist sponsored hunts? A guy with a flat bed truck drives slowly down roads with a loud speaker shouting that he has various pareidolia of the face of jesus in the back of the truck.

    Atheists with hunting rifles, mounting in howdahs on elephant back then proceed to shoot at anyone expressing an interest.

    Admittedly, elephants are hard to come by, but whats a hunt without elephants, howdahs and pith helmets.

  • mikespeir

    Do even other atheists think all atheists are perverts? Gee, no wonder Christians think that.

  • anonentity

    Critical miss? Lose an article of clothing.

    Confirmed Critical hit. Get one back.

    Simple as that.

  • http://thenaturalbuddhist.blogspot.com JohnFrost

    @mikespeir– I maintain that all people are perverts… and atheists just have no puritan chains to hold us back ^_^

  • Ben

    perhaps “rim shot” isn’t the best pun identifier for this topic…

  • http://s2solutions.us/wordpress Seth Strong

    I think you need to ensure that you know your group of atheists before you’re working this issue. However, I know atheists that would go for it with the right group of people. I think the pro-orgy group should press on.

  • GreyTheory

    can’t play D+D anymore.. my d20 imploded when I tried to make an atheist cleric.

  • Jen

    I think an orgy would be a terrible idea. Dawkins knows atheist events tend have more men than women attenting as is…

  • http://s2solutions.us/wordpress Seth Strong

    Are you the Jen being referenced in the post?

  • Jen

    Heh. I was going to clarify, and I then I was like, that’s silly, I do not link to the blaghag, and people will get that it is Jennifurret and not me. But alas, I am the post-college non-blogging Jen.

  • http://s2solutions.us/wordpress Seth Strong

    In all honesty, I think random orgies are really bad ideas. You should only engage in that kind of stuff with groups of people you really care about. Knowledge is power: power to be turned on and power to be safe.

  • Snuggly Buffalo

    Let’s not perpetuate the rumor that 4th edition is really D&D.

    You know, I was going to write short rant about how silly this position is, and then I remembered that I had almost the same reaction to the new season of Futurama that is currently in the works without the original voice actors.

    FWIW, I’ve really enjoyed playing 4th edition. I say this as a ‘veteran’ of the 3.0 and 3.5 editions, as well as dabbling in 2nd edition through the Baldur’s Gate video games.


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