Trust the Word of Jesse

This post is by Jesse Galef, who works for the Secular Coalition for America.  He also blogs at Rant & Reason

In part of our trip to the Creation “Museum” we saw a presentation called The Ultimate Proof of Creationism or some such.  To our collective lack of surprise, it was nothing of the sort.

In the presentation – and a consistent theme in the museum – was the notion that everyone is looking at the same facts, but we come to the table with different presuppositions.  We secularists have an inaccurate view, the museum argued, because we start with the assumption that 1) our observations are generally accurate and 2) that the past is an indication of the future.  We can’t prove these, so they’re unfounded and arbitrary!

Of course… these are SHARED assumptions among creationists as well, but they add another axiom.  Biblical literalists assume that the Bible is the true word of god.  And that assumption is supported because… wait for it… it says so in the Bible!  Yes, that’s right, they’re pointing to circular reasoning as a superior starting point.

How absurd. But at least the system has no inconsistencies!  It’s internally supported (read: circular).

Here’s a thought experiment: I have another “starting point” through which I’ll interpret my evidence.  Instead of trusting fidelity to the Bible as the ultimate judge of truth, we should just trust whatever I say! Let’s assume that everything I say from now on is true. How do I know it’s true?  Because I just said so.  And remember, we’re starting with the assumption that I’m right.  By the way, I say that I’m perfect.

Human reason and observation tell us that I have many flaws – among them a tendency to be sarcastic.  But we shouldn’t put Human reason above The Word of Jesse, as The Word of Jesse is the ultimate standard of truth.  Sarcasm must be part of perfection!

The Word of Jesse also asserts that you’re all excellent, amazing people.  Doesn’t it feel good to have this worldview?

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  • Rob

    Sorry Jesse, but your logic is flawed. You should be using the starting point of listening to exactly the opposite of what I say. I work for a bank…. therefore I personally know Satan. Since he’s the opposite of god, just take the inverse view of things I say. I.e. Eat Babies, Sacrifice Goats, Wear Plaid. See?

  • Ron in Houston

    But – but –

    Sarcasm truly is part of perfection.

  • Rob, I hope never to wear plaid. In fact, I think I’ll make that a decree: Plaid is only good on the jerseys of the North Carolina Tarheels’ basketball team. Thus spake Jesse.

    And Ron, I agree. For me, the problem is that my face doesn’t change when I’m sarcastic. I’ve confused a lot of people that way.

  • Elizabeth McFadden

    Jesse, no worries — your sarcasm is part of your charm!

    I always love your posts. The bible is the true word — because the bible says so! Brilliant logic!

    Do these people know nothing of history? The bible, like every other book, was written — and rewritten, and edited, and revised, and often mistranslated — by humans. What to include, and exclude, was debated by church leaders for centuries — and they generally excluded anything that didn’t fit their idea of doctrine. And that’s before we even get into that pesky question of “which bible?” The Catholic bible has a number of books the Protestants deleted … but the Catholic bible was considered the standard for centuries. So which one is the Ultimate Truth?

    BTW, my husbands family is Scottish — can we retain plaid for occasions where men wear plaid skirts?

  • bill

    Rob, I hope never to wear plaid. In fact, I think I’ll make that a decree: Plaid is only good on the jerseys of the North Carolina Tarheels’ basketball team. Thus spake Jesse.

    ah but this is not plaid on said jerseys, it is argyle. and whats wrong with plaid?! (well, as long as it’s not plaid shorts its fine and often pleasing to the eye imho)

  • Dan W

    It’s just sad how easy it is to point out the logical fallacies in arguments made by the Creation “Museum” and people who believe the sort of nonsense found there. I’m glad I took a class in logic last year.

  • I think I will be converting to Jesse-ism. Now WWJD!

  • Matt D

    Wow…

    Jesse, that was amazing. As i read your self-proclamation as the new saviour I had a sense of calm and peace wash over me the likes of which I have never known…

    …maybe there’s someting to this blind, deluded faith caper. Let’s face it, thinking for my self hurts and always gets me into trouble…in Jesse I trust, for Jesse hath spoke, and it was gooood