I’m Going to Dance

August 14, 2009 By Guest Contributor 40 Comments

I don’t dance. Ever. It’s for your benefit.

But my cousin is getting married in a few weeks and a few of us family friends decided we should do an Indian dance for her.

Actually, they decided to do it and said I had to join them or else.

The dance is now choreographed. It includes some Michael Jackson moves, the Macarena, and a Charlie’s Angels pose among regular Bollywood-ish moves. We’ll perform it in a few weeks. In full Indian garb.

I’ve been told I must put the performance on YouTube.

I would just like to know what I will get in return from all of you if I do this…

Filed Under: General 40 Comments
  • http://bakiwop.com bakiwop

    i would have paid a fair amount of money to see this, but since you have to do it anyway, i’m afraid all you’ll get now are laughs…

  • Reginald Selkirk

    … and said I had to join them or else.

    “Or else” is often underrated.

  • Andy D

    there was probably a very good chance this would have slipped under all of our radar if you hadn’t mentioned it.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    I’m up for some ridicule.

  • http://logofveritas.blogspot.com Veritas

    I’m reminded of the surrender scene from Red vs. Blue.

    “OK. We’re gonna send over our Medic. Now, what do we get?”
    “You? You’re surrendering! You don’t get anything except humiliation and ridicule!”
    “We’ve already got that! What else do you have?”

  • http://miketheinfidel.blogspot.com/ MikeTheInfidel

    Derision.

  • Emily

    promises of eternal love and devotion?

    I already read your blog, man, what more could you want? :P

  • Erp

    You could volunteer to be camera man.

  • http://dadtheist.blogspot.com/ Stephen

    Eternal adoration and respect.

  • Efogoto

    I’m in for laughter. I’ll even be kind and not post it as a video response on the Tube.

  • http://www.cstdbill.com/ Bill

    You will get my respect and admiration for having endured.

  • mvanstav

    The knowledge that single non-believing women all over the world will get to see your fantastic dance moves.

    And laughter.

    (But more seriously, you should dance, not just when made to. Close the shades when you’re home alone, turn up the volume, and go nuts. Makes life so much better.)

  • Ubi Dubium

    I’ll give your video a good rating on YouTube. Even if it’s lousy.

  • Richard Wade

    You’re a good sport and a good cousin. Looking silly for a good cause calls for admiration as well as good-natured laughter.

    The worst thing to do would be to hold back and look like you’re suffering out there dancing. Let yourself really get into it and have fun! Then any laughter is what you created rather than what was thrown at you.

  • http://alitheiapsis.wordpress.com/ Aly

    You are making too big a deal out of this. Any good Indian would do the same… ;)

    I have nothing to offer in return except empathy.

  • http://www.aperfectfool.com Codswallop

    The undying admiration of a fellow non-dancer! Also, I love Bollywood dancing!

  • DreamDevil

    Ehm…. Cheer emotes?..

  • http://www.jewelisms.com Jewel

    Hey, I admire those that would get up in front of people and perform – even when they are not comfortable doing so. You’ll be fine — you’re a good cousin.

    And what Richard Wade said :-)

  • Sandra

    I will give a good rating, and leave a kind comment. ;)

  • Ron in Houston

    Anyone know what’s the deal with dancing in the Bollywood movies? The Indian restaurant I enjoy always is playing those movies and it seems like there’s more dancing than plot development.

  • Carlos

    The opportunity to see my ass laying on the ground, as I will surely be laughing it off?

    Okay, you’ll also get mad props for doing this for you cousin, and a VERY LOW YouTube rating, so as not to attract attention.

  • nonfictions

    You would get a donation to the secular student alliance from me :) Not to mention you’ll also get the pleasure of knowing that you’ve brightened up my day!

  • REX

    I will give you my eternal SOUL! You can sell that one on Ebay too!

  • Richard P

    How about the warm glowing feeling inside that you will receive by thinking of the thousands of people that had an opportunity to laugh and of the great sacrifice you made to bring them that gift.

  • http://www.madatheist.wordpress.com NiroZ

    Lots of sweaty man love?

  • NeuroLover

    Along the lines of nonfictions’s suggestion, I’ll donate to SSA once I see the video. The better (more entertaining, not necessarily better at the actual dance moves) you are, the more money I’ll give. :)

  • Chakolate

    I would just like to know what I will get in return from all of you if I do this…

    You mean aside from many screaming groupies camped outside your classes and offers of marriage from women you’ve never seen?

  • Lindsay

    I will dress my newborn up for Halloween as whatever consumable item you choose. He’s really cute. And he’d be even cuter as a food item.

  • Dan W

    “I would just like to know what I will get in return from all of you if I do this…”

    Epic lulz from me? The chance that some beautiful non-religious single women see you dancing? Of course, that second one I can’t guarantee…

  • Weemaryanne

    Why, Hemant, you’ll get our respectful attention, followed by insincere compliments and barely-concealed sniggers.

    Of course.

    …. What?

  • http://www.beginningwithi.com/comments/ Deirdré Straughan

    Like any other big Bollywood star, you can be held for two ours by Homeland Security at Newark airport.

  • llewelly

    What will you get out of it?
    You’ll get to look stupid on youtube.
    It will help you fit in with today’s youth.

  • medussa

    Snide remarks, and lots of laughter. Looking forward to it.

  • Devysciple

    I was lucky (in hindsight) to be in a few embarrasing situations in front of a lot of people myself. Usually with other guys around me. Guess what I’ve learned: It takes skill and a small portion of arrogance to be convincing and good.
    But making a complete fool out of yourself takes dedication, self-confidence, and a great sense of humour.
    So go ahead, open your defences to ridicule and laughter. As long as you enjoy yourself, you’ll have a jolly good time!

  • benjdm

    I would just like to know what I will get in return from all of you if I do this…

    $10 @ SSA and some good natured laughter?

  • http://www.aperfectfool.com Codswallop

    Hemant,

    This is what we want to see:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA1NoOOoaNw

  • http://blondeshikseh.blogspot.com/ marfita

    Please do not leave out “The Chicken Dance.”
    I thank you.

  • Wendy

    I would just like to know what I will get in return from all of you if I do this…

    My undying respect, no matter how stupid you end up looking. I don’t dance either – EVER – and I would just die if I were in your shoes right now.

    Just thank your indifferent stars that the dance is choreographed! At least you’ll have *some* kind of guidance…

  • keddaw

    My complete and utter antipathy.

  • Jude

    Maybe you should clarify exactly what they meant by “or else”.