I hope you’re right, but that is not my impression. I grew up in “liberal” California, and in elementary school and up I witnessed shunning, taunting and harassment of kids over religious differences.

I think this must be something that varies quite a bit. I also grew up in California, just outside of San Francisco, and I can’t remember religion ever once coming up as a topic for discussion when I was in elementary school. It was such a non-issue that I was able, until I was 7 or 8, to remain completely unaware of the concept of a god. And that eventual knowledge did not come from my friends at school, but rather from television and books. I know that many of my friends and classmates must have come from religious homes, but it honestly never came up between us on the playground or during playdates.

I really don’t think it’s most areas, is it?

I hope you’re right, but that is not my impression. I grew up in “liberal” California, and in elementary school and up I witnessed shunning, taunting and harassment of kids over religious differences. From that I learned to know when to keep my mouth shut. “Liberal, free, laid-back, tolerant, polycultural” California. You know, the home of Rick Warren, Ray Comfort and Proposition 8.

Such conflicts may blow over and be forgotten by really small children, but when it comes up again from the 5th grade up through high school, it’s going to last and escalate.

Certainly school yard bigots are more common in some parts of the country than in others, but it only takes two or three kids in a school to make life miserable for another school kid. The little soldiers of the “Religion of Love” will spread vicious rumors about the atheist kid that have nothing to do with religion, just to get more people hating their target. In junior and senior high schools, rumors are seldom questioned. They’re just spread.

As for losing your friends, I think it really depends on the community and school. If I had been openly an atheist at my Catholic middle school, I wouldn’t have had any friends. But at my Catholic high school on the other side of town, no one really cares, and a lot of my friends are in the atheist/agnostic spectrum. I’ve had some great conversations. So I think it really depends.

In most areas of this country, for a kid to reveal that they are an atheist would be extremely detrimental to their perfectly legitimate kid priorities. They would immediately not be having fun, not be liked, not feel accepted and not feel safe.

I really don’t think it’s most areas, is it? I think “extremely detrimental” is a little overstated. It’s hard for me to judge since I grew up in Portland, OR, which is probably one of the most liberal/secular cities in the nation. Here’s what Dale said about this:

This is exactly what I’ve heard from countless parents–the vast majority of the time, kids engage, they freak out, they move on.

That’s EXACTLY what happened to me. “…What??? You don’t believe in God? Why? Oh…” And very soon after, it’s forgotten or not mentioned or not acted upon again. I know the danger is there, and it’s worse than mentioning your (i.e. your parents’) political views. Religious fundamentalists often demonize atheist children and their families. You probably know if you live in a place where being an atheist seriously puts your safety at risk, right? I guess I see this as a special circumstance.

When she came home one day and said mom will I perish I knew some little Christian kid had been at her because that’s the only reason that particular word would have been picked. Someone just learned a buybull verse in Sunday school. I said who said that and she told me and I chuckled and explained that perish was another word for die. We had just dealt with a death and she had come to understand that everyone dies so when I said you will and she will but most likely not until you’re very old, she nodded and understood.

It’s not violating anything church-state wise if it’s just the kids talking privately and no one’s doing anything like preaching or praying loudly.

And let me tell you something, when my daughter was growing up, her friends, mostly Christian, would die before they’d let their parents find this out but they mostly didn’t believe either. The doubts they felt free to express to the Atheist kid and many flat out told her they thought it was silly.

They were all astounded (and very impressed) that she could talk to me about anything at all, no limitations. There were things, not always religion, they did not feel free to discuss with their parents. What a shame.