Stephen P: I know I’m no biblical scholar, not attempting to start a theological debate with you, I don’t put any stock into that nonsense of a book anyhow. And thank you for your thoughts, I do not study the good book as diligently as a good non-theist should to make very well thought arguments.

Granted, I had to look these up on Wikipedia, so its not as if I can recite them on command.

1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.

2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey = Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.

6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?

8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

The ten commandments everyone refers to were the words of the “lord” as spoken to Moses on Mount Si’nai, they were not written down in any way. When Moses brings the tablets with God’s rules he finds the people worshiping a statue of a calf, he breaks the tablets and goes back to talk with God(Exodus 32:19), the tablets he returns with contain the above words.

That doesn’t fly. It is true that the story of the first set of tablets doesn’t make it clear what is written on them. But Exodus 34:1 says explicitly that the words on the second set of tablets were the same as on the first set. Even though two of the new set of commandments weren’t even mentioned when Moses was on the mountain the first time.

1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.

2. I’d really rather you didn’t use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don’t require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I’m sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is “go fuck yourself,” unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I’d really rather you didn’t challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I’d really rather you didn’t build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
1. Ending poverty
2. Curing diseases
3. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I’d really rather you didn’t go around telling people I talk to you. You’re not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can’t you take a hint?

8. I’d really rather you didn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it’s a piece of rubber. If I didn’t want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

I wonder what the reaction would be if someone carefully spraypainted over the ones that don’t apply in the US court system.

Making people actually think about the 10 commandments and, more importantly, why most of them haven’t been made into laws would be the most ‘productive’ result of this whole thing imo.

Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother’s milk (serve meat with dairy).

I don’t know why you put a bracketed explanation after that one but not the others.

‘Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother’s milk’ means ‘don’t boil the meat of a young goat in milk taken from its own mother,’ in today’s English. Indeed, it seems perverse to do so, and I can see why a culture would have a taboo against such a thing. Rabbis many centuries later decided to invent complex kosher laws regarding interactions between meat and dairy, and they used this commandment as the starting point for it.

1 Thou shalt worship no other god.
2 Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
3 The feast of unleavened bread thou shalt keep.
4 Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest.
5 Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the firstfruits of wheat harvest and the feast of ingathering at the years end.
6 Thrice in the year shall all your men children appear before the Lord God.
7 Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven.
8 Neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left unto morning.
9 The first of the firstfruits of thy land thou shalt bring unto the house of the LORD thy God.
10 Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother’s milk (serve meat with dairy).
Exodus 34:13-28

The ten commandments everyone refers to were the words of the “lord” as spoken to Moses on Mount Si’nai, they were not written down in any way. When Moses brings the tablets with God’s rules he finds the people worshiping a statue of a calf, he breaks the tablets and goes back to talk with God(Exodus 32:19), the tablets he returns with contain the above words.
I’m no biblical scholar or anything, just from what I have read.

So yeah that makes perfect sense right, lets plaster those on every govt building there is. Anyway off point, I’ve been reading this site for a couple weeks and really enjoy it.

And does anyone know what are the eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.” of the FSM