Comments on: Can You Be Alone with Someone of the Opposite Sex if You’re Married?

By: AngieK

AngieK — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:22:00 +0000

AND I forgot to mention. When my husband drove his bosses wife home from some fucntion or training program somewhere (this is when he was married to his first wife) the bosses wife asked him if he ever fooled around on his wife and then proceeded to make advances towards him. They had worked together for years. It is interesting how she took the oppotunity to do this while in a car.

Just something to think about. Common sense from my perspective. Nothing to do with religion.

By: AngieK

AngieK — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 07:16:00 +0000

Its a year later, but I’ll respond anyways. Its not just about having an affair. A man is protecting himself from a woman making an accusation against him that might not be true.

Also you would be amazed as to what can happen. When I was 12 and recieved a ride home from the manager of my paper route, he came onto me. I baby sat for someone and her finance drove me home and came on to me, I was about 14. What if I didn’t have strong boudaries or easily manipulated? Also the woman down the road asked for a ride home from my husband at work as she locked her keys in the car and he did. BUT then it didn’t end there, she started phoning all the time and didn’t ask but just simply stated she needed a ride. He just ignored her calls, and so she shunned him at work. I didn’t like it either as she was making the assumption he would just do it.

My friend’s neighour car pulled with a neighbour of the opposite sex and a year later they divorced their spouses and married each other. It happens.

People don’t go into with the idea that they are going to have an affair but they place themselves in a situation where they become friends and that can lead to other things, especially if they are challenges at home.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 01:20:58 +0000

I am a Christian and saw this website and decided to look at it. It says that it is foolish and childish to worry about starting an affair but have you considered how foolish it is when someone has an affair butis married? I believe that it is the smart thing to do. The only way to prevent it and be 100% sure about it you have to not put yourself in that situation.

By: Meretrics

Meretrics — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:19:36 +0000

this is not in the least unusual in the christian communities i grew up in. when i was a teenager teaching sunday school, the sunday school group leader (a married man) once gave me a lift home after a meeting. the next sunday at church there were whispers everywhere about this and how inappropriate this had been.

if their fears are true and none of us have self control… what about the bisexuals among us? must we never spend time alone with anyone??
how ridiculous!

and no, not being married doesn’t make a difference to them in most cases, because one must keep oneself pure for a future husband/wife.

By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:39:31 +0000

I ran out of time and space earlier, but my whole point was…that is not just that a person cannot control themselves its how others perceive situations, albeit unfairly, but nonetheless distructive and at the least hurtful.

By: Robin

Robin — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:40:47 +0000

I must comment on this topic. I work in a warehouse atmosphere. I am 1 of two females in my section. I believe myself to be a friendly person, although,not one looking for a man at work. My point is, that because I work with so many men and of course we talk, laugh and work well with each other, I over the last 15 years have been accused of sleeping with many of them. Totally false assumptions, but totally real in being made. Now I can/could have made the choice to clam up and keep to myself for the most part and did for awhile when the rumours first started, until I realized that that made for a more uncomfortable work atmosphere for all of us. Its really a difficult situation and one that after 15 years, I no longer let bother me. All in the same there are some of the men that will stay away from me, only to discuss work related topics. I suppose they do not want to be thrown in the mix of being one I *slept* with. Such a shame. But I understand.

By: muggle

muggle — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:46:18 +0000

Bennett, even if that’s true, he childishly kept a promise to his rather childishly selfish wife before this other woman’s welfare and before his job.

How happy would the wife have been with her man/breadwinner/wallet (something I refuse to view men as) if he had lost this job because the woman complained about this bit of sexual discrimination? If this woman had physical problems walking, the company could be in even bigger trouble legally.

Also, he doesn’t say a promise to his wife, just that it would be inappropriate. So this woman (hopefully she wasn’t wearing heels, I don’t but we women are under so much pressure to wear heels it’s finding flats that is the problem) had to walk. Asshat! And, no, I don’t apologize for any perceived snarkiness on your part.

It was sexual discrimination (if she had been male, he’d have given her the ride) and I hope she has put a complaint in.

By: efrique

efrique — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 03:16:09 +0000

No wonder some christians think atheists might murder them on the spot. Even with God looking over their shoulder, they can’t trust themselves with someone for an hour? Sheesh.

I would NOT phone/text my partner to tell her I was getting in a car with another woman and I wouldn’t expect her to do the same with positions reversed. She’s an adult, and so am I.

We are capable of holding our libidos in check for crying out loud, without propositioning some semi-stranger just because they’re alone with us for a little while.

Anyway, he’s on the way to the airport, for goodness sake – what’s he going to do in the car?

Every way I look at it, the whole thing is just creepy. Does being a fundie really make you that obsessed about sex??

Anyway, someone with that little self-control must be a hell of a lousy lay – who’d want to screw them?

By: Jodie

Jodie — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:35:35 +0000

If I had a nickel for every time I had sex on that hour drive to LAX I would be….A really awful prostitute since I live in Chicago.
Would not the common courtesy of avoiding sex during bumper to bumper traffic be a deterrent? If he’s as religious as he claims then he would not have the where-with-all to have sex with anyone in such a public setting. Are atheists the only ones who think of the children?

By: capt'n john

capt'n john — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:15:07 +0000

I was, for a period of some 20 odd years, principal of elementary schools. Particularly in the early years I was the only male on staff. It was not at all unusual for me to meet with my staff on an individual basis. In fact I tried to spend time with each of my teachers each day to ensure that I was on top of the things happening in the school. In my opinion it was the simplest, easiest way for trust to be built and bring about a team driven school where the teachers were free to work with their colleagues and the school administration for the betterment of the children in our care. If Jon Acuff is so unsure of his control over his emotions or sex drive as to be threatened by the possibility of being tempted into “wrong-doing” by the mere presence of a person of the opposite sex alone in the same area with him I am pleased that his field is not education. Incidentally I have been married to the same person for the past 45 years and the thought of being on a “slippery slope” because of my administration methods is repugnant both to me and to the teachers I worked with.