The Orange is the One-Armed Person’s Worst Nightmare

October 25, 2009 By Guest Contributor 25 Comments

Jesusophile proves that God is merciful. There’s an orange involved. And something racist. And I believe he says one-legged people shouldn’t complain about their lot in life.

I can’t explain it. Just watch:

See? It all makes sense now.

Filed Under: General, Humor 25 Comments
  • http://craftlass.blogspot.com CraftLass

    So, disabilities exist for the amusement of a merciful god? Wow. Certainly not my idea of mercy.

    But the thought of becoming a human millipede in heaven really is creative! Stupid, but creative.

    I think this guy may be living proof of a lack of intelligence behind our own “design”. I’m usually not that mean but this is dumb even for what it is. Pretty funny, though.

  • Jerad

    I try and try, but I have trouble sitting through a Jesusophile vid. I’m not sure if I’ve actually made it through a whole one. Though I almost got into the last minute with this one.

  • Drake

    You guys are totally pulling my leg — this is a Poe, right? I mean… This guy doesn’t ACTUALLY believe the insane stuff spewing out of his mouth… Right? Guys? D:

  • http://christyagonzalez.blogspot.com/ Christy

    If god was merciful I never would have clicked to play the video.

  • http://toomanytribbles.blogspot.com/ toomanytribbles

    how is this not a poe?

  • Marc Ritz

    the guy must be fake…..

  • Gareth

    I can’t do it, i just can’t do it. I really want to throw my shoe at this guy or at least beat myself to death with said shoe in order that i no longer need to be a member of a species of which he is a member. Where is that shoe…?

    Peace you beautiful hell bound lovelies :)

  • Jerad

    @toomanytribbles He is a poe. But still painful to watch.

  • Baktru

    Clearly this guy is not serious. It’s satire people.

    But I keep in mind Poe’s Law: “”Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won’t mistake for the real thing.”

  • http://toomanytribbles.blogspot.com/ toomanytribbles

    @Jerad

    whew :D

  • http://camelswithhammers.com Camels With Hammers

    I made it 3:03 before I couldn’t bear any more.

  • http://tuibguy.com Mike Haubrich, FCD

    I think he is a good poe, and I think he is very entertaining.

  • Jim

    If god was merciful I never would have clicked to play the video.

    ^ squared…

  • Heidi

    I wanted to hit him by 0:03. I couldn’t take any more by 1:19. I don’t find him funny at all. I find him painful.

  • http://superstitionfree.blogspot.com Robert Madewell

    I’m sorry. Poe or not, I just can’t watch even 2 seconds of that. There’s not enough Xanax in the whole world that would make that video tolerable enough for me to watch for 6 minutes and 20 seconds.

  • bigjohn756

    I can’t watch this guy. I have tried several times in the past, but, I just can’t do it. I just ate, so, I will not even try to watch this one.

  • Robyn

    …I always get distracted by Jesusophile’s hair. It’s so pretty.
    I’m sorry, what were you saying?

    Yay, satire. ^^

  • muggle

    Why does this guy remind me of Kelso from “That 70′s Show”? Why do I just feel like I insulted Kelso even though I can’t stand him and feel he drags the whole show down? Oh, yeah. Because Kelso is just stupid — not crazy. I am convinced this guy is making these tapes from his room in an expensive psychiatric hospital his parents are paying for.

    Anybody ever see the cult classic “Freaks”? It’s one of my favorite films. I wanted to send the armless, legless black midget in that after him. If you’ve seen the movie, you know that without arms and legs, he still manages to go after somebody with a knife.

    I’m skeptical. Prove to me that he’s a Poe. Because I’m thinking the pathetic thing is just plain freaking nuts.

    And, for God’s sake (pun intended), someone give him a haircut. Yeah, nice hair but it’s obviously driving him crazy. He can’t just let it hang down but shoves it out of his face every two seconds. It’s most annoying. I love long hair and it’s his only good feature but freaking cut it already!

  • http://nutsandreasonsblogspot.com quedula

    Definitely satire.

  • CAL

    Wow, I don’t care whether it’s satire or not, that was painfull to endure and now I have a headache.

    Freaks!! Great Tod Browning movie. “Gooble gobble gooble gobble…one of us…”

  • http://www.jimloomis.deviantart.com Jimmy

    No offense to those of you who don’t think it’s satire, but IT IS. What hole are you living in?

    Anyway, I only have one major gripe with this video, and that is the portrayal of amputees. I’ve got one hand and I can:
    -peel/eat any fruit.
    -cut my steak/porkchop/green bean/you name it.
    -tie my shoes.
    -tie your shoes.
    -play drums with the aid of a homemade prosthesis.
    -play drums better than most of you.
    -use a professional camera system.
    -use said camera better than most of you.
    -type.
    -type faster than most of you.
    -comment on friendlyatheist to point out the degree to which I hate a certain kind of satire without failing to realize that it is satire, while appreciating it nonetheless.

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Beth

    Yeah, he’s fake…and I love it.

    Jimmy, on a side note, when I was in high school, a man who had lost his arm in a tractor accident did kind of an inspirational speech, and he showed us all how he could twirl a basketball or a football helmet on his finger, tie a full Windsor, and tie his shoes. It was really cool. No worries–I didn’t think Jesusophile was an accurate portrayal of an amputee.

  • muggle

    CAL, if you love cult films, that has to be one of the best. Watching it does, however, make you appreciate the March of Dimes. And the dude I referred to was a force to be reckoned with — even if he didn’t seem so.

    Sorry, I’m still not convinced this is satire. How the hell does that make me living in a hole exactly? I understand that without giving away his personal information on the internet — not such a smart move — it may be hard to prove but point me to some indicator. He got a blog? A website? Anything besides these rants on You Tube? Anything at all in which he appears at least somewhat coherent. Seriously.

  • http://www.myspace.com/Dunnam0127 Joseph Dunnam

    Well look at us with our 2 arms and 2 legs . I’m sure that is sign of God’s mercy because mery means :Willingness to forgive,not to punish : “But when the kindness of God our Saviour appeared , he saved us , not because of the righteous things we had done , but because of his mercy (Titus 3:5).” The Apostle Paul tells us , “I was shown mercy so that in me , the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display hi unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe (trust) on him and receive eternal life (1 Timothy 1 :16).

    I for CERTAIN he meant grace (undeserved goodness and strength) instead of just mercy.

  • Zeriu

    look at this guy…god really does have a sense of humor:))