Comments on: Ask Richard: My Korean Girlfriend Keeps Asking Me to Come to Church

By: yhj

yhj — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:09:24 +0000

This is quite absurd. Just go once (only if shes truly wanting you to go for the cultural and social scene, which is still so sickly tied in with their faith), and if she asks you again, then she obviously wants the skyman to instill his “divine” spirit in to you.

Korean Christians are the most relentless zealots I have encountered in my life, they are a problem in South Korea and it is horrid to see a certain quasi-theocratic movement sweeping the socio-political scene of Korea today.

The best advice I can give you is ditch her if she asks you over and over again to go to her religious funhouse. Korean (Christrian)s are the fundamental evangelist jesus lovers of Asia.

-from my own experiences with ill-minded people pulling me off the streets to ask me if I went to church. yeah it’s that bad.

By: Dandim Lee

Dandim Lee — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 08:17:35 +0000

I went to a Korean church when I was younger (mother Korean, father American). There seemed to be a lot of pressure among the Korean women to involve their significant other (usually American. We were near an army base). Maybe you can go to the service spoken in Korean. She’ll be pretty sure that you’re going just to appease her since you won’t know what the preacher is saying. You’ll have to stay away from the older Korean women though.

By: littlejohn

littlejohn — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:25:32 +0000

Are you guys crazy? Everybody knows all Korean girls are HOT! Go wherever she wants you to go. Just don’t let her drive.
Hang on, I’m pretty sure I can come up with some more ethnic stereotypes.
Oh yeah, this is for you Hemant: I’m reading the book “Superfreakonomics.” According to the authors, comdoms have a failure rate of 15% in India, because the standard condom is, um, too large. Sorry, dude. I’m really not making this up.

By: Matt D

Matt D — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:55:13 +0000

words of wisdom from personal experience:

A christian partner NEVER stops praying for your conversion. Their attempts may not be overt, but they always pray for their god to work in your life.

I found some of my wife’s written prayers (i wasnt snooping – scout’s honour) and she actually thanked god in prayer that I had to go to church one time to see my nephew’s recital. She prayed that while I was there I would be touched by the spirit (I wasnt).

They NEVER stop, they will take every opportunity even if it looks like they arent pushing.

Someone commented about having a partner that thinks you are going to hell. My wife wrote (to God) that if our marriage broke up it wouldnt really matter because I wont be her husband in eternity anyway. It wouldnt matter to me if I didnt have 2 little kids that I love so much.

My advice, be sure you are on the same page before you get in too deep

By: atheomatix

atheomatix — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:11:23 +0000

I don’t like the o-word. It tends to cut off conversation. ‘Irritating’, ‘naive’ and ‘insensitive’ are words that come to mind for me.

But do you really see this substantial difference in worldview as something you can neuter of its divisive potential? If you follow others’ advice here and “just say ‘no’”, unwilling to discuss it, does *that* sound like the basis of a good relationship? To put it bluntly, I’m skeptical that this relationship can go anywhere.

By: Indigo

Indigo — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:17:07 +0000

I can identify a little bit with the “offensive” issue, but that may be a cultural thing. I’ve been raised with the idea that a person’s religion is somewhere between their medical history and their sex life in terms of privacy – you never, ever ask a stranger about it, and if your very best friend refuses to talk about it, then you let it go. If they say, “I don’t want to talk about that, it’s personal”, then pushing the issue is deeply disrespectful. You certainly don’t invite them to your church when they’ve explained that they don’t share your beliefs.

By: Richard P

Richard P — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:10:22 +0000

How about, just say NO.
simple is the best policy.

By: anonymouse

anonymouse — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:24:58 +0000

I think attending a church service with her will only give her false hope that she can change your beliefs. If you said no several times, then go, she will think she can get you to go again. You will gain more respect in the end if you are loving, but firm and say you are not going. Suggest something else, and take her out and have a good time.

However, if she just wants you to go just to get a sense of her culture, maybe you can show up for the food after the service (?). That seems like it may offend people. Are there any Korean potlucks in the area? People congregate around food, so maybe you can attend those.

I was raised Baptists and they have church potlucks ALL THE TIME.

By: Lewis Thomason

Lewis Thomason — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:00:18 +0000

Run do not walk to the nearest bar and drink until you forget her.

By: Oni

Oni — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:54:51 +0000

i think it’s like going out and watching a matthew mcconaughey movie with the girlfriend. you may wish him dead, know the entire movie is bullshit, and hate yourself for agreeing to go, but it’s just something you do when you’re dating.