If you jump into another romantic relationship now you will miss out on finding out who you really are. Don’t put it off. It is not so painful and it can be downright exciting. This next suggestion may seem a bit wierd, but if you can’t find a friend to confide in, “buy one”; find a good therapist and start exploring you.

And what’s more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin?

I think it’s smart for anyone after leaving (for whatever reason) a very long relationship to take a lot of time off just to remember (or learn) that you can be okay being alone.

amen!

when I hear about people who have NEVER ‘been alone’ (meaning they’ve gone from relationship to relationship with virtually no time in between), it raises red flags with me…..

Be very dubious of anyone who needs to be in a relationship all the time.

Don’t look for love. Look for yourself and love will find you.

Great advice Alan

It will hit some ears as being ‘trite’, and it won’t feel especially helpful to someone who’s desperately lonely….

but when it comes to finding someone who loves you for who you truly are, there’s no sager wisdom

How does Scumbag come to that conclusion!?! Really you need to ask that?

I was objecting to the words “will always.” You don’t know what anyone will always do.

“Sad’s” entire story is just beyond pathetic and frankly as others have rightly pointed out has next to nothing to do with atheism.

I think it has more to do with atheism than you think. The purpose of this blog, unless I’m wrong, is to communicate that atheists do have human problems and human emotions, and that religion does not have a monopoly on compassion and charity.

We married young, so I’ve never really lived alone, and I’ve never been single as an adult. Any emotional issues I may have had were met with lots of prayer and scripture, and convincing myself that God was taking care of everything.

I think the use of imaginary friends to stave off feeling alone and a need to feel taken care of speaks volumes. This business of never being alone in his entire life is a good indicator that “Sad” has always in the past wanted or needed to be with someone, anyone, to feel at ease. Past action actions are the sole indicator we are presented with in this self description of “Sad” and I don’t think Scumbag is drawing any unreasonable conclusions based on the information he was provided, at least not any more than Richard or the other posters. “Sad’s” entire story is just beyond pathetic and frankly as others have rightly pointed out has next to nothing to do with atheism. I come to this site seeking distraction and amusement so I’m not particularly put off by the topic based on it’s lack of relevance to the subject this site regularly offers, but it really does come off as a pathetic tale of a broken tiny sick heart, a sob story by someone who has not yet managed to learn to deal with their emotions in a productive way but instead uses them to try to elicit pity for his oh so gut wrenching, self imposed, plight. “Sad” strikes me as an emotional coward and a manipulative little simp. This is in fact an informed observation, an impression based on available facts in evidence, not at all a conclusion. if we were only allowed to discuss things on this site for which all facts on the subject were presented then there would be no need for a comments section at all.This entire thread is full of wild speculations and unfounded assumptions and yet you only choose to chastise/challenge Scumbag, why is that? Are you irked by his blunt tone? Does he seem a safe target because other “compassionate” posters will have your back? Why single him out? I propose that Scumbag is offering as sound advice as anyone else here has offered, (and incidentally similar advice to some other posters) and that his abrasive tone is what some are taking issue with.
Sad and Pathetic sounds delusional, he may be better served by Christianity than atheism and then he would never have to be alone, there would always be another set of footsteps in the sand next to him. Or if he just can no longer believe then by all means, back off and grow up, that seems to be the consensus.
Sorry to be so snippy but this coddling is just disgusting and I don’t think it serves Sad and Pathetic one bit, I think he may benefit more from a call to action than a teary empathic hug and a soothing shoulder to cry on.

My point is that Sad will always need to be with someone to feel safe and at ease.

Whoa… How do you come to that conclusion based on the limited information we are given here?

I think people should discover who they are by exploring what makes them happy, and then go for it.

I would agree with that, as long as their happiness (in who they are) is not dependent on the approval/love/affection of another person.

I just think you were beating a dead horse with the atheism angle. You’re not telling him anything he didn’t already know. Though you said it much more eloquently.

Your advice was essentially to back off and grow up. Correct?

My 2 cents is that most people never really grow up. I don’t know anyone in my entire life that is what I would accept as “completely” mature. The most emotionally mature, level-headed person I know is lazy. Lives off of Daddy’s money. I work in restaurant management (thanks to the economy it was either that or teach…). And I observe a lot of people from employees to customers. People are crazy, and they don’t really change. If anything, they get more set in their ways the older they get. My point is that Sad will always need to be with someone to feel safe and at ease. So he should be with someone. Stop wasting time being miserable trying to change something that he will end up just hiding from everyone and maybe even himself.

I think people should discover who they are by exploring what makes them happy, and then go for it.