A coworker and I got into a discussion of the term and use of the term ‘respect’ and we realized there is at least two different categories of respect that needs to be addressed. I can respect someone’s accomplishments without respecting their beliefs, or personal behavior. I don’t know that you can say that you respect someone, and mean it to be the ‘whole’ person.

I have a supervisor who follows Islam. He is extremely capable and very good in business. I respect him professionally. I would take any business advice he were to give. However, I absolutely do not respect his beliefs and ideals. I am actually angered at some of the things he believes.

So, the question of respect is several very gradient rulers to put up to someone. Professional accomplishments, social behavior, environmental responsibility, etc.. are all areas where respect can be given, and be totally separate from each other.

LOL! After saying that should I really play the game and answer these questions? Shrug, since I like games and ridiculous personality quizzes, I will anyway:

1. Do I truly believe that everyone has the right to their own beliefs or lack thereof?
Yes but that doesn’t mean they can’t be challenged or even acted against if the person holding them should try to physically force them on others through force of law or physical force.

2. Can I respect the person, even though I may not respect their ideas?

All their ideas? Or just some? Of course, I can. In most cases. If they have a belief that is utterly abhorrent and it is held fanatically and they cling to it so violently that they’re freaking scary — then no.

3. Do I have the capacity to recognize my own fallacies?

I’d like to think so but if I’m honest probably not most of the time. Of course, that is a fallacy of mine.

4. Will it kill me if I were wrong?

Depends on what I’m wrong about. If I think that berry on that bush looks delicious and I eat it and it’s poisonous, obviously it can. Figuratively as you mean it, no, but I could be pretty damned embarrassed or have my whole way of looking at the world shaken to the core. Then I can see why it’d feel like it would.

5. Am I able to hold what I believe is truth lightly in the interest of dialog?

No. The truth is the only thing I revere. Why should I hold it lightly just because someone else believes in a delusion. Fuck them. Of course, if the truth in question is that I’d die without chocolate, well, then yeah. I’m just being silly.

6. Can I overlook and maybe even appreciate the idiosyncrasies of others in order to hear what they have to say?

Absolutely, idiosyncrasies are what make people fun and interesting. As long as they aren’t the kind of idiosyncrasies Charles Manson has.

7. Am I willing to discern the deeper currents rather than being distracted by the surface ripples?

I maintain my right to be distracted by surface ripples, especially if they come in the form of muscles and dimples displayed in a charming smile and subtle flexing of a male of the species. Also, I came of age in the disco era. I like shiny.

8. Can everyone play? In other words, will I not ostracize someone because of their beliefs or lack thereof?
Depends. I don’t drink but have been known to party with those who do, sometimes even more heartily than they do. But don’t bring me down with Jebus or Allah or you’re out on your ear. Also, if you’re a mean drunk and want to fight.

9. Is personal harm to others the only prohibition I am willing to make?

Of course not. See above. I don’t drink and I don’t pray and I’m not respecting a moment of silence. Ever.

10. Do I love all beings, and if not, am I willing?

I don’t like spiders and snakes… or assholes. And no I’m not willing to open up to them. Fuck them.

At what point is being right more important than being approachable/likable?

It always is. As I said, I revere the truth.

Is there any time it’s OK to cede “points” to the other person just to keep the relationship strong?

No. I will only concede “points” if you’ve shown me I’m wrong or at least genuinely make a point. I will, if I like you or want to be on friendly terms with you (rather than ignore you which is what I choose rather than squabbling) for whatever reason, agree to disagree when I grow absolutely frustrated with you and/or not think the discussion worth it any more and/or it’s just all too painfully obvious that there’s going to be no meeting of the minds no matter how much you and I would like there to be because we like each other.

.

All that said and as egotistical as this sounds (and probably is as far as I know), I think this world would be fine if everyone took my philopsophy of either liking people or leaving them alone. I can’t be bothered with feuds. If I find someone that despicable, I walk away and just have nothing to do with them. If they refuse to do likewise, pity them. They shouldn’t have underestimated the power of a bitch, especially one that just wants to be left alone to live her life in peace.

There’s also ambiguity in the original 2nd question. You can read it as either:

Is it possible to disagree with someone’s beliefs and yet still respect them?

But it could also mean (and this is the way I took it),

Can you respect someone no matter what beliefs they hold?

To clarify – I could respect someone who believes the earth orbits the sun. (As opposed to them both orbiting a common centre of mass. :p)

However, I could not respect someone who believed that they were entitled to commit genocide.

Naturally there is a sliding scale between the two…

Yes

2. Can I respect the person, even though I may not respect their ideas?

Perhaps, perhaps not. It depends very much on their ideas. I hold a person ultimately responsible for the ideas they hold, therefore I refuse to absolve them from that responsibility. If someone’s ideas are disreputable enough and they continue to hold them in the face of sound rebuttals I most certainly will not respect that person.

3. Do I have the capacity to recognize my own fallacies?

What fallacies?
No, but seriously, I think I do. I am always willing to concede errors in argument.

4. Will it kill me if I were wrong?

Depends on circumstances, no? If I’m arguing religious ideas over the internet and I wrongly assume the person I’m arguing with is not a psychotic fundamentalist, then no, it won’t kill me. Face to face, however, it might.

5. Am I able to hold what I believe is truth lightly in the interest of dialog?

Sometimes. It depends on who I’m having the dialog with, how much I respect them, whether anything’s riding on the argument. Many of these questions are grey yet are trying to push for black and white responses. I’m always deeply suspicious of the motivations of those who pose questions like that. Let’s just say it doesn’t surprise me that this particular set came from a religious person.

6. Can I overlook and maybe even appreciate the idiosyncrasies of others in order to hear what they have to say?

If what they have to say appears to be worth it, then yes.

7. Am I willing to discern the deeper currents rather than being distracted by the surface ripples?

If they exist, sure.

8. Can everyone play? In other words, will I not ostracize someone because of their beliefs or lack thereof?

Ostracize, no. I’m not promising I’ll be nice to them, though.

9. Is personal harm to others the only prohibition I am willing to make?

What a strange, ambiguous question. I’m not sure exactly what it means.

10. Do I love all beings, and if not, am I willing?

No, I’m not a brain-dead hippy. There are plenty of “beings” wholly unworthy of love just as there are plenty who are unworthy of respect. Forget that ridiculous Godwin nonsense; sometimes Hitler makes the point validly: was he a being I should have been willing to love?

If you have new Kirk Cameron evidence, I’m listening.

Sackbut,

What you (we) are missing is a dictionary. The question leads us to use respect in different ways. This is from Webster’s:

Re`spect´
v.t.
1.To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed.
[imp. & p. p. Respected; p. pr. & vb. n. Respecting.]
Thou respectest not spilling Edward’s blood. – Shak.

In orchards and gardens, we do not so much respect beauty as variety of ground for fruits, trees, and herbs. – Bacon.

2.To consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor.

I will respect(1) your imaginary neighbor’s right to have his views. I will not respect(2) your neighbor.

or,

n.
1.The act of noticing with attention; the giving particular consideration to; hence, care; caution.

But he it well did ward with wise respect. – Spenser.
2.Esteem; regard; consideration; honor.

Seen without awe, and served without respect. – Prior.
The same men treat the Lord’s Day with as little respect. – R. Nelson.

With respect(1) to his beliefs, I disagree. Respect(2) is earned, not granted, btw.

If nakedpastor is still reading, my I suggest changing question 2 to “Can I be considerate to a person without agreeing with his ideas?”

I would then change my answer to “yes.”