Pokémon Pastor

Hah! I remember this guy (at least I think it was *this* guy….there were several, sadly) from when my sister first got into the Pokemon craze in the late 90′s.

I think the last quote in that video sums it up quite well: “Don’t think!”

Also, I know this has been said by others millions upon millions of times….but once again, I find myself mystified that there are still people who are so obsessed with “getting into heaven” that “you’re not going to get into heaven!” is a threat in and of itself. It makes them sound like selfish children discussing whether or not to beat someone up on the playground “because if we do we’ll get a time-out,” as opposed to, say, “because it’s cruel and unnecessary.”

So, um, yeah. I’ll be going now….

I remember many evangelical groups in my country saying the same about Pokemon and many other Japanese cartoons (especially Dragon Ball). As usual, this preacher feeds on the people’s ignorance and fear of the unknown. It’s not hard to pick a book or even check wikipedia and what really is pokemon.

I want to play it again.

I CHOOSE YOU, CTHULHU!

SO FUNNY!

My favourite bit has to be at 2:28: when the pastor complains that

‘…[kids] are so into this make-believe world that they can’t distinguish between fantasy and real’.

Am I the only one who thinks he didn’t really mean that?

Oy!

“I can assure you that what you watch affects you radically!” … shouted the insane radical at the people watching him… (at 2:42)

Wow, witchcraft and demons and psychic powers and dark forces? Sounds like a scary place. Good thing he has god to protect him from those bad cartoon characters.

Evangelists like this make a career out of finding things to be against, so they can scare the shit out of their congregation and keep the $$$ rolling in.

Arnold- best comment ever!

One thing that caught my ear…

“when the kids are so used to killing each other on the games, that when they walk outside and pull out their .45 and pump their friends full of bullets [..]”

I would bet my eternal soul and $10 that this preacher never even had pause as to how a kid got a hold of a .45 and bullets. Or possibly that for a good god-fearin’ kid its absolutely fine to carry a loaded weapon around during playtime. After all, killing another kid because of pokemon is a tragedy, however it does need to protect itself if REAL demons attack it.

I know this is possibly reading to much into it, but the way he nonchalantly glossed over a kid having a loaded handgun makes me want to keep my kids as far away from this man’s house and church as possible.

*Especially* Evil Jigglypuff! Whenever we play Smash Brothers at our house, my husband kicks ass with jigglypuff, because he’s mastered the down-B move (“rest”) and if your health is over 30% depleted, it’s pretty much an instant KO…

…And also, this pastor is sad and crazy.

The thought of Satan taking cartoons seriously is really funny!

I think if God were real and cared about Pokemon that God would need to adjust priorities ever so slightly.

You guys are so behind. Today’s evil game corrupting our youth is Bakugan! Apparently the kids that grew up with Pokemon didn’t all become serial killing satanists. Go figure.

Oh the irony. A pastor explaining how other people can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy… lol.

@muggle: google it, I wouldn’t make that up. Although by your logic legos must be satan’s little toe clippings. I’ve learned to recognize the distinctive clink they make as they go into the vacuum cleaner — the ones I haven’t stepped on, anyway.

It goes deeper than that. I’m surprised Hemant missed this one:

Faith United News Network
February 3, 2009
Topeka, Kansas

Robertson Leads Campaign to Challenge Pokemon Evolution
–Insists Alternate Theories Should Be Presented

The Rev. Pat Robertson has never been one to shy away from controversy. During a 700 Club Broadcast on February 2, Rev. Robertson announced that he was going to help champion a new intelligent design initiative by conservative members of the Topeka Pokemon League.

“Over the last few weeks, I’ve been in constant contact with the good Christian folk at the Topeka Pokemon Gym, and they’re sick and tired of liberal humanists shoving the unproven theory of Pokemon evolution down their throats,” said Robertson. “Radical Darwinist ideologues are filling children’s heads with notions about Pokemon that are simply not found in God’s Word. How could something like blind chance or leveling up create something as perfect as a Wailord? How could any creature have developed an attack as super effective as Hydro Pump without that being part of our Lord’s creative purpose? Kids need to be taught that there are alternatives.”

Robertson’s initiative is strongly supported by Robert J. Cihak, Senior Fellow for Pokemon Studies at the conservative Discovery Institute. “Pokemon evolution is passed off as fact, when in reality it is nothing but a poorly supported theory,” said Cihak in a phone interview yesterday. “Where’s the evidence that Raichu evolves from Pikachu? There is none. Where’s the mechanism for Bulbasaur to become Ivysaur and then Venusaur? The scientific data is totally lacking. Pokemon Centers must present all possible theories if the intellectual integrity of Pokemon Science is to be maintained.”

This initiative has raised concerns in the international scientific community. Contacted for comment at his home in Yokohama, noted Japanese Pokemon scholar Professor Soichiro Oak expressed his incredulity at Robertson’s comments. “I simply cannot believe that there are still people willing to reject the vast preponderance of evidence supporting Pokemon evolution. Yes, it is a theory, but one that has been tested time and time again in Poke-battles. We may not fully understand how a Psyduck becomes a Golduck, but that doesn’t mean that the basic theory is flawed. It just means that more study is required.”

The response from the Pokemon themselves shows that tempers over this issue are running high. During questioning at a hastily called press conference at the Topeka Pokemon Gym, an obviously angry Pikachu said, “Pikapikapika! Pikaaaah! PIIII –KAAAA-CHUUUUU!!!!!” The resultant Thundershock attack did 50 damage to a nearby Fox News reporter, who is still stunned but in fair condition at Topeka’s St. Francis Hospital.

How dare he claim that Jigglypuff is demonic. Jigglypuff sings to destroy his enemies. Isn’t that what they do in a chapel or house of worship?

Kettle, meet Pot.