Kabbalah Vodka with Christian Infants

December 16, 2009 By Guest Contributor 24 Comments

I’ve never been much of a drinker, but I think I’m going to have to start…

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I can’t tell if it’s real or not, but this explanation was offered at a website:

… Given the explosion of capitalism and the influx of money into the former Soviet empire, there has been a huge rise in this market as neuveaux riche wish to show off how riche they are. Hence, Kabbalah Vodka with Christian Infants, the premium wheat vodka enfused with silver, gold, platinum ions that features a glass model of a baby inside. This plays off the old wives tale circulated in Europe that Jewish religious rites required the blood of Christian babies.

Each baby is handmade, and supposedly there are only a few of each type of baby made, so collectors are swarming all over Russia looking for these things. It begs the question: is the baby attached to the inside of the bottle? Or could you take it out somehow so you could keep the baby, but not keep the empty (or full) vodka bottle? Inquiring minds want to know about the glass Christian babies!

It’s probably fake, though. We all know there are no such things as “Christian Infants.”

“Kabbalah Vodka with the Children of Christian Parents” just doesn’t have the same appeal, though…

(Thanks to Hank for the link!)

Filed Under: Babies, General, Humor 24 Comments
  • littlejohn

    That bottle shouldn’t contain vodka. It should contain the blood of Christian babies, which, as the Vatican has told us many times, Jews use in their unspeakable satanic rituals.
    Honest. Google it.

  • Peregrine

    I guess Kabbalah and Satanism need to get together and negotiate who gets to use the inverted pentagram.

    Also, why is Satanism in my spell check, but not Kabbalah? What the hell, Firefox?

    Maybe it’s the lighting, but the baby looks like he’s encased in carbonite. He should be quite safe in there. Assuming he survived the freezing process.

  • Martin

    I suppose if you drown a baby in hard liquor, it might start to believe in a god before it has any notion of one.

  • Dave

    Don’t Christian babies have clear blood? I mean…they never “evolved” hemoglobin, so…

  • http://thinkingforfree.blogspot.com/ Eamon Knight

    Um,am I the only on who thinks this product is really, really pushing the envelope on what should be acceptable?

  • http://gotplur.com DLSS

    Eamon Knight , yeah pretty much , i dont see the problem with some humour , the only thing i’m concerned about is the “silver, gold, platinum ions” part :s

  • Kaylya

    Looks to me like a nicely done 3D Animation job.

  • Peregrine

    @Eamon Knight
    You’re probably not the only one. Personally, I’m of the opinion that we should mothball the whole baby-eating joke anyway. But what can you do? Freedom of speech and expression, and all that, right?

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  • liz

    i would soooooo buy that!!

  • Daniel

    Kaylya is correct, that isn’t a picture, it’s a 3D render. This is most certainly not a real product.

    Also, I never really thought the ‘eating babies’ meme was all that funny, and now it’s really starting to grate on me. Let it go already.

  • Melmoth

    Most likely a fake, I think. Another little hint would be the name of the company who ostensibly produces this: EZ Protocols.

    Yeah, right.

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff

    I don’t know any Christians who seriously think that atheists eat babies. But I do know Christians who think atheists are the tool (or under the spell) of Satan. Perhaps jokes can be made about that. On the other hand, the jokes may further convince this minority of Christians that we really are in league with the devil…

  • littlejohn

    I eat veal. Does that count?

  • http://lagunatic.wordpress.com/ Lagunatic

    I think it’s hysterical.

    But, my babies aren’t Christian and they’re way too big to stuff in a bottle.

  • Peregrine

    I used to cook veal. But I was not happy about it. It was already dead by the time it got to me. Still, I was glad when they took it off the menu. I’m a proud omnivore, but I have some standards.

  • Richard Wade

    Eamon Knight, Peregrine and Daniel,

    Yeah, for me, the you-know-what was old about 1,800 times ago. But people thought I was being stuffy, so I just try to ignore it.

  • Edmond

    What does it say at the very bottom of the picture? It looks like Anton fecit, with a capital A and lower case f. I googled that and got nothing.

  • Godfrey Zone

    Doesn’t the Jewish faith predate the Christian faith, making it very “new testament” (and thus NOT Jewish) to drink Christian… well… anything! What would they have been drinking in their rituals prior to Christianity?

    I guess wondering why there’s no logic to it is fairly, um, illogical. It’s religion, after all!

  • Illfjord

    Don’t listen to those who say the eating babies joke has gotten old or is not funny. I like the running joke and it’s not like something is posted every day about eating babies.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ WMDKitty

    I’d buy that.

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  • http://www.doubt.it Sergei

    “Anton fecit” is Latin for “made by Anton”, a formula once used by artists to sign their work. Which lends weight to the idea that this is a hoax.
    So much crazy stuff goes on in Russia these days that I found the idea of super-luxury vodka with a profoundly antisemitic theme pretty credible. But I’m not finding any evidence of its existence.
    I certainly hope it’s a gag. It would be pretty shocking if it’s real.

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