supercheetah, I wish someone who mattered was listening to your ideas! Terrific. I think you’ve got something there. For all the lip service we give rehabilitation, we don’t see much of what your saying. Instead we get stuff like Colson’s nonsense.

Heidi, I never have been actually (unless you count scumbag ex-husbands) but it might just be the attitude. I do get rather in your face. Less than a year ago, I did have to turn that cane around and threaten a young punk who decided it’d be a good idea to push a middle-aged Grandma on a cane around. Don’t know but that I might be in jail for assault but her companion had more sense than she did and pulled her away before it came to blows — and I was not going to be shoved a second time. Fortunately, I was seated at the time — on a bus, where she thought she’d shove me off so her young healthy butt could sit. In the handicapped seat at the front of the bus, no less. If you’re ever in this neck of the woods, stay off the #55, Albany-Schenectady route. You need a weapon on that mother fucker.

Don’t test it. If I had to I might just run you over with that rolling walker. My lower lims suck but I’ll pit my upper body strength against near anyone short of a gym fanatic. It’s pretty damned good despite arthritis in shoulders, neck and spine. If I’m sitting, I probably could swing that thing!

Don’t worry. I’ve never actually hurt anyone. I sprayed pepper spray once on a bus when a guy shoved his knee into my back (didn’t want anyone sitting next to him on a packed bus, fuck him, I ain’t standing when there’s a seat) but he was taller than I figured and I missed his eyes. Should have seen the room that suddenly cleared around us and he left me the fuck alone rest of the way home. Could be because I kept the pepper spray out and properly aimed the rest of the way.

I also had a vicious black cat who was convinced that she had to live up to movie stereotypes for 18 1/2 years. That little New York bitch not only beat up two Dobermans and a German Shepherd but scared away two burglars that I know of so (and one more that I suspect but can’t be sure about), no, I was never burlglered either. She was fucking psycho! I still miss her and she’s been dead 14 years. I fear I’ll be like Mr. Bojangles in that respect.

Um, where do I live for this kind of stuff? Denver and Albany, NY. Missed Albany the whole time I lived in Denver. What can I say, this is home.

Theft and other forms of ‘cheating’ are classic strategies in game theory. In any predominantly co-operative society, the best (i.e. least costly) strategy for a certain frequency of individuals is to ‘cheat’, rather than conform to the rules of the game (i.e. work for their money). In other words, depending on the likelihood and severity of punishment, it is always worth taking the gamble of committing crime for some people in a society. This is why no society can ever eliminate crime – unless there is a 100% chance of being punished by death, it will always be profitable for some individuals to cheat.

Now, I never had the inclination or the balls to rob somebody–it was always shoplifting and the like. It’s easier to talk yourself into it when you don’t have to look the victim in the face. I’ve also been mugged before, once at knife-point, and it sucks. I don’t think it’s so much people being irrational or whatever, even when they don’t seem to gain anything from the endeavor. It’s more like they just haven’t been inculcated with the right kinds of social behaviors. The guy that steals the ipod is, to me, like the guy that kicks a dog. Neither action is “irrational,” they’re just fucked up because they’re inappropriate in the society we live in.

[reading over this post, it looks like I'm taking a moral relativist stance or something; for the record I think that theft, mugging, and dog-kicking are really bad things, I just think most people tend to make moral decisions more or less intuitively, and this "intuition" is strongly influenced by patterns of behavior, upbringing, etc.]

I transferred to Humboldt County, and learned not to leave *anything* in a locked car, ever. No, the police don’t do squat. When I had all of my clothes stolen, I called the police and they said, “We’ll mail you a report to fill out.” I got it in the mail about two months later.

“…Don’t you know you’re more valuable than the damned i-pod?”

It’s not about the effing ipod. At this point, I’d like to beat the shit out of the person who stole all of my *underwear*. It’s the principle of the thing: It is just not ok to go around taking other people’s stuff, whether it’s a shiny pebble that they found on the beach, an ipod, a car, or a child.

And, yes: a pair of angel fish from the tank in the waiting room. ‘Cause, you know, whoever it was really *needed* those fish more than the folks who sit around waiting for medical care.

Advice: Stay aware of your surroundings. No weapon or martial art will keep you safe if you’re not paying attention to your environment. Paying attention is the easiest way to avoid the need for violent reaction. Also, if you carry a weapon, know how to use it otherwise it’s liable to be taken from you and used against you. Guns especially.

Keep the shiny toys under wraps or close to the vest, and replace those “please steal my Apple(tm) gear” white-corded earbuds for something in basic low-visibility generic black. Sometimes Apple’s design panache is an absolute liability.

I have a hard time justifying the use of lethal force in defense of property, though the notion that the thief should have the holy living shit beat out of them holds some attraction, at least on the surface. I doubt that’s the right approach though.

Edit: @ LKL: FISH?!?! People steal FISH? Wow I thought I’d heard everything. How the hell would you steal a fish? *wanders off muttering to self about crazy people*

That was my reaction too!

I’d be fascinated to hear exactly how they do it…..hopefully it involves a water-filled ziplock bag and not a ‘personal storage’ method used by drug smugglers.

Assumption that people are generally good – momentarily shaken.

In my case the assumption that people are good is permanently shaken. I’ve been the victim of theft so many times that I no longer believe people are naturally good.

Criminals, the way I see it, should be locked in prison until it’s determined that they are safe to be let into society, and there should be continuous rehabilitation sessions to get them there. Sometimes rehabilitation merely means education, but it would certainly be different for every person. Just putting someone in jail, and throwing away the key seems to be counterproductive.

I’m glad your okay though Jesse, and I hope you do find your other stuff.