Laura, the Redheaded Skeptic, used to be a fundamentalist Christian and a pastor’s wife before becoming an atheist.
On her excellent site, she talks about the first journal entry she wrote after meeting the man who would later become her pastor husband (whom she has since left).
Specifically, she mentions a list of goals she set for their relationship as it was just beginning (along with side commentary):
- To learn to care more about his needs than my own.
- To be in much prayer.
- For him to meet my family.
- Start a devotion together (weekly) [didn’t happen. Ever. Should have been Christian Red Flag #2.]
- To keep God in the center and figure out how to keep God in the center.
- To support and encourage him to grow in the Lord and in his self [that’s what I wrote; pardon the grammar!].
- To treat him as a brother in Christ [every man’s dream, right?!].
- Scripture memorization? [?? yeah, that’ll help! Also didn’t happen.]
She mentions that, in hindsight, she can “spot a hundred things wrong” with what she wrote, but it was genuine and honest back then.
I became an atheist before I ever started dating, so this idea of going into a relationship with religion as a focus is completely foreign to me.
Did you do things differently in terms of dating when you were religious?
Besides the faith (or lack thereof) of the people you liked, how did your dating life change when you became an atheist?