Greta rocks!

And yeah, next time try to wear a mic.

A few things:

a) Religions that forbid sex can last more than one generation, because they can gain adherents from outside the religion. There are a few examples, this is how abbeys work.

b) I’m not persuaded by someone saying polyamory leads to certain types of relationships (and they’re negative), but I am equally not persuaded that polyamory does not follow patterns, i.e. each relationship is unique. It doesn’t parse with my knowledge of humanity, and seems like an ignorant defence.

c) I can’t disagree more that things like art, dancing, and life, are intuitive, irrational realms apart from science and reason. The culture of art, and artists, they’re often irrational, but art itself is not irrational.

muggle wrote:

The only thing I’d add would be on the part of whether you have the right to put your hang-ups on your mate. No, but maybe if something they like and don’t want to give up repulses you, you’re incompatiable basically and accept that you can be friends but you’re not working sexually…*snip*…that kind of incompatability should be discovered before those complications of a child in common or financial independence become an issue.

Very nicely said muggle As I’ve always said, being honest about these issues very early on in a relationship is essential. It’s not about someone being right/wrong or moral/immoral, it’s about finding someone who ‘fits’ with you when it comes to these make-or-break issues.

Being brave enough to be honest about one’s true needs is the only way to a successful relationship. Having said that, people do change and just because 2 people are ‘on the same page’ about such issues now is no guarantee that that will always be the case…….but that doesn’t change the fact that the best we can do now is be honest about ‘where’ we are now.

I think she discouraged a few of my hang-ups. Actually, I think she very ably pointed out that we all have some hang-ups and we all forget not to judge others by our own hang-ups instead of by neutral criteria.

It was a very interesting talk, in any case. And, yes, she handled the questions beautifully.

The only thing I’d add would be on the part of whether you have the right to put your hang-ups on your mate. No, but maybe if something they like and don’t want to give up repulses you, you’re incompatiable basically and accept that you can be friends but you’re not working sexually.

Still would indicate we need to be more open sexually because that kind of incompatability should be discovered before those complications of a child in common or financial independence become an issue. It is more complicated if tastes change and you don’t become incompatible until after you have kids and a mortgage together. With more openness though, even then it has more liklihood of being worked out for the better.

Obviously, Greta made me think and I always appreciate that. Thanks, Greta.