muggle, I think the opposite (as Greta said better) – it’s a fantastic love song. It acknowledges the randomness inherent in finding someone special and that there are probably other people who are better than his wife in all sorts of ways he would find attractive; yet, he does love her and they’ve built something together and she is special. The last part of the song acknowledges how much he loves her. It’s a lot more solid view of love than goopy romantic “you’re the only one for me”, because everyone knows that’s not true and as soon as the newness wears off it won’t be the same. I don’t think it’s “I’d have no problem replacing you” at all; it was that he could have easily ended up with someone else, but he’s glad it was her.

How about I love you, chose you because you’re great? That doesn’t apply no one else will do. Only that you find them Grade A select.

I was really glad I wasn’t his wife listening to that.

But then, even though I think Valentine’s Day is great, I really don’t care to build anything over time with anyone. I always outlast the guy in the afraid to commit department — when I do date. Mostly I choose not to. It’s too much work. And looking back I’ve always been happier alone than when I was with someone.

So I guess I can’t point fingers because I have an even crappier outlook towards romance.

I don’t want to think of love as something that happened to us. I much prefer to think of it as something we do.

You just nailed it Greta! beautifully said….

I always say that the verb form of the word ‘love’ should be treasured/nurtured more than the noun form.

Loving someone is something you do more than just what you feel.

That said, this song probably isn’t the best one to sing in romantic situations.

Actually, Ingrid and I love this song, and we both find it very romantic. For quite a while after she first played it for me, “You fall within a bell curve” became one of our most common endearments.

I actually think it’s a more romantic sentiment than the standard “We are fated for one another” bullcrap. I don’t want to think of love as something that happened to us. I much prefer to think of it as something we do. The idea that she has to love me because she has no choice… pleah. The idea that she chooses to love me and to stay with me and to make me the most important person in her life — that’s way better. (And vice versa, of course.)

I’ve written more about this, if anyone’s interested: A Skeptic’s View of Love. (Sorry for the self-linkage, but it really is relevant.)

I’m sure I’ve said stupider things, but I can’t think of them off the top of my head.

Foot in mouth and selective memory. Tsk!

Lyrics ==> http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/if_i_didnt_have_you.html

I don’t believe it worked.