Comments on: Ask Richard: Atheists’ Freethinking Children Are Considering Religion

By: NCP

NCP — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:56:35 +0000

As someone who was raised on by non-religious parents (more agnostic than atheist though)I feel like I can relate to this from the other end of it. I was my parents’ worst fear- in high school I definately rebelled by joining a fundamentalist christian church. It didn’t really start out as a rebelious action though- my friends happened to all be christian, and they peer pressured me into going to their “youth group”. My father’s reaction to it was not very understanding- he accused me of being brainwashed and not being able to think for myself. I know he was only worried about my mental well being, but it definately made me keep going to that particular church- I was a good teenager who didn’t party at all and had good grades so I guess I sort of enjoyed getting my parents riled up a bit . I rejected christianity a few years later- my parents and critical thinking skills (taught by my parents to me) had more sway than my fundie high school friends. I was never able to resolve my cognitive dissonance with what my friends believed… the whole experience gave me a taste of the other side and I glad that I can at least relate to some christians as a result…

By: prospera

prospera — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:36:43 +0000

If you give your kids the freedom to make their own decisions, along with the assurance that you will love and accept them no matter what, they will be just fine.

I think it’s safe to assume they will likely make some wrong decisions along the way before they settle into what fits them best. You just have to trust that they will know how to see others, as well as themselves, without judgment, because they learned it from you. Ultimately, I think that’s the most important thing, regardless of people’s religious preferences.

Thank you for another wonderful post, Richard!

By: Alankrita

Alankrita — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:31:52 +0000

What strikes me about this discussion is the content. Its usually only atheist parents concerned about allowing their children a freedom of choice point of view. I have rarely come across such balanced discussion from religious parents about potentially atheist children. I find this openness and concern for the ideas of the child so refreshing- its like the parents do not want to impose their beliefs- all too often I see/ hear the opposite. Just leaves a nice warm glow in my heart!

By: Slickninja

Slickninja — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:18:23 +0000

I know as a non-religious I should try and avoid the very idea of indoctrination but I personally, I wasn’t ready to conquer religion at age 10 and certainly not 8. I was about 12 when I started to seriously question religion and I came to the conclusion when I die, I’m going to be dead. There’ll be nothing. It was quite a load to really process and took me quite sometime to digest. My parents at the time were quasi-Christian (later in life they followed me) so I didn’t have a helping hand to guide me in Atheism, although they were understanding people.

I can’t say at age 8 I’d of done much more than parrot what my parents/teachers/media told me. I’d say they have the right to free-thought but at the younger ages, they also need a guiding hand.

By: Michael E

Michael E — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:17:02 +0000

I do not think that you have a lot to be concerned about in the long run. While your children may rebel against you while they are adolescents, this is a short term effect.

I have been raised in a strong evangelical church and have lost my faith over the last few years. To remain a religious person requires a strong ability to disregard totally incompatible pieces of data. You should pray for good outcomes to happen. You should trust that prayer will result in good outcomes. But don’t trust in having things turn out well for you because we do not understand the “mind of God.” Thinking in this fashion requires years of training that goes back to the childhood years.

Because of my family tradition and commitment of my wife, I too have allowed my children to decide for themselves. I will report back in 10 years to let you know what happens.

By: Alz

Alz — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:45:32 +0000

“Our middle child is now questioning this agnostic point of view. If we cannot prove god does not exist, how do we know he doesn’t”

A spiritual, non-religious version of gods may be difficult to prove false, but most religious claims can be reasonably shown as false.

By: Blotz

Blotz — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:45:11 +0000

Dale McGowan has a great post about this on the Youtubes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hCvjW3S2xI&feature=youtube_gdata

By: Jeff P

Jeff P — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:44:20 +0000

what if they become fundamentalist (Christians, presumably) as a means of rebelling against us?

If you truly give them the freedom to choose whether or not to believe in the supernatural, then that takes belief (or non belief) off the table as something to rebel against. If they are so inclined to rebel, they will find some other way.

By: Erp

Erp — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:31:43 +0000

To Revyloution, a Daisy sleepover in the church probably isn’t too problematic. Churches are a convenient large space for inside events and often cheap. The troop I was in growing up sometimes met in a local church building, but, no religion was ever pushed.

By: Ron in Houston

Ron in Houston — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:35:56 +0000

Well Richard, as usual I agree with your fundamental thoughts.

He did promise them the ability to think for themselves.

It’s a tough question though. They aren’t really thinking clearly. They’re letting things like a need to conform and peer pressure cloud their thinking.

I’d probably use gentle rhetorical questions to hopefully draw their awareness to these issues. Hopefully I could do that without specifically telling them one way or another.

However, whatever they decided I’d love them anyway.