I Think I Prefer Street Preachers to This

A message to Christians who want to convince others to follow Jesus.

Don’t do while dressed as a bloody Jesus on a cross.

Near a mall.

Where children are passing you and crying.

And when the police arrest you and reporters ask why you just did that, don’t say this:

“I think it was pretty sad that a Christian group couldn’t express what Easter was truly about for one hour — it wasn’t like we were trying to take over the city or tell everyone they were going to hell.”

Yes. This is *much* better than street preaching.

On the up side, at least it didn’t happen in America. Woo! *happy dance*

(Thanks to Julie for the link!)

  • john

    True, not US. He wouldn’t have been arrested here.

  • LadyHawke

    Jesus shaves his armpits?

  • http://veggiecrocker.com Athena Holter-Mehren

    I actually wish that this would happen more often. Maybe people would begin to see how pointless and cruel religion really is.

  • Adam

    Yeah, in this country, they do the same thing on Court House lawns and people have a fucking picnic. http://www.recordpub.com/news/article/4802427

    This was at the city over from me. Check out the pictures. They’re even worse than this one. Dude looks like he was “whipped” with a chainsaw.

  • Killer Bee

    In undies he does relish
    to flaunt his secret pine
    a scene too bloody hellish
    of a rabbi claim’d divine.

  • gski

    Jesus’ gift to humankind, an authentic cross made of engineered beams.

  • http://hoverfrog.wordpress.com hoverfrog

    How would you plan this kind of thing?
    Pastor Sarah Kenneally: “I know guys, I’ll get someone to dress up as Jesus, cover him in blood and fake wounds and writhe around pretending to be nailed to a cross. We’ll all play music. What do you think?”

    How about “Don’t be a twat, Sarah, it’ll get you arrested.”

    Some people just need locking up for their own safety.

  • Hazor

    It perturbs me that they can’t fathom why this would bother people. I don’t generally think to myself “I look forward to seeing bloodied men hanging from torturous execution devices” when I go out shopping. It perturbs me even more that my own family thinks in the same manner as they.. Bah.

  • MeagD

    How do you get the part as Jesus? I feel like the auditions for that must be really intense… He’s like the belle of the ball!

  • stephanie

    From what I understand this isn’t what Easter is about anyway. It’s what Good Friday is about. Which, honestly, I’ve never understood. My definition and Christians’ definition of ‘good’ seems to vary.

  • http://www.antiatheism.info Don Kroner

    Ok I understand that this might scare some children, but it’s better for them to understand what Christ went through for their sins than to be ignorant about it.

    If more people went to Church like they are told to then we wouldn’t have to go to such lengths!

  • http://www.godisimaginary.com/ Aub

    Seriously Don??

    Those acts are hideous and disgusting. I don’t want to see that reenactment and I definitely don’t want my children to see it.

    Maybe you should leave people the hell alone and let them decide for themselves what is right for them.

  • Neon Genesis

    “If more people went to Church like they are told to then we wouldn’t have to go to such lengths!”

    Did it ever occur to you that people don’t want to go to your church because you go to such lengths?

  • muggle

    What sick fucks! I’m glad they were arrested. I’m also glad that when we took the grandson to the mall to see the Easter Bunny, he didn’t have this R rated assholery thrown into his innocent little six year old face.

  • Miko

    The 1st Amendment guarantees the protection of all speech, whether you find it offensive or not.

  • http://onestdv.blogspot.com OneSTDV

    I like it. Too often the actual realities of religion are glossed over. How about they reenact Old Testament genocide next?

  • Neon Genesis

    “The 1st Amendment guarantees the protection of all speech, whether you find it offensive or not.”

    Do they have the right to do it outside a shopping market they don’t own?

  • Autumnal Harvest

    Unless we’ve annexed Australia recently, I don’t think the 1st Amendment of the U.S. constitution applies here.

  • idioteque

    Somehow I don’t think cops shutting down an act of “disturbing the peace” is a violation of free speech. Its no more different than jerking off in public, blasting a boom box in public or soliciting crap. It doesn’t even matter whether the act is “offensive” or otherwise. You’re simply disturbing the peace. There’s no “persecution of Christians” here. Its a no-brainer.

  • http://www.loreleiarmstrong.com Lorelei

    “Cross your legs, please, we’re short on nails.”

  • http://www.heavenonearth.org.au Reverend Rory Lennon

    I would like to address your 18 comments.
    I am the senior minister of Heaven on Earth ministries, that Pastor Sarah is a part of and we are amazed that such ignorance of certain facts exists in a so called educated society, especially as is seen here by the various uninformed opinions.
    Firstly, there were no crying children, you, like many in the world, simply took what you were told, by media, and have commented on an inaccurate report simply because it suited you and your views, hardly scientific approach is it?
    Secondly, No one was charged or arrested, in fact the police apologised to us for their officers inappropriate behaviour, as he ignored the need to show his identification or inform us at the outset of his intentions as is required by law here in Australia.
    Thirdly, you have missed the point of this event, simply because you want certain historical facts to go away, as they dont agree with your worldview. These facts are as follows; Jesus Christ shed His blood, not to make people happy or please any one set of beliefs or groups, but rather as the example of what it takes to really stand up for your beliefs in an otherwise unforgiving world, second the voluntary sacrifice of ones life in a right or noble cause, no matter how much the wowsers of preceding generations may see you, is sometimes the price one has to pay to stand for what is right or true, please note, i am not condoning violence to others, but willingness to give yourself for your beliefs. Just go to the graveyards of all our soldiers who gave their lives in WW1 and WW2 fighting tyranny and insanity as Hitler represented and belittle their sacrifice as you are doing here of Jesus, it simply demonstrates your own shortsighted and selfish lifestyle, focused only on your own narcissitic self absorption.
    Lastly, you enjoy the very right to voice your opinions here simply because you do indeed live in a Judeo Christian society and if you were to remove EVERY trace of Christianity and it’s morale system as Jesus lived it out, your country would fast become one hell hole on earth, with everyman for himself, doing what seems right to him, because there are no consequences to your actions if there is no standard to judge by!
    Thank you for your time and honest consideration
    Yours in Christ’s service
    Reverend Rory Lennon
    senior minister
    Heaven on Earth Apostolic Life Ministries (Australia)

  • Jelena

    “Hamlyn Heights mother Louise Bridges slammed the performance, calling it an “absolutely disgusting stunt”.

    She said she was “fuming” at the public display and said it would “scare children away from religion”.”

    - Well, in that case I’d be glad for such performances. We need something to detach children from religion. :)

  • plutosdad

    Don,
    You realize why violent movies are rated R? And why documentaries that show horrible things that might still be shown all have warnings so parents know to change the channel? (And if broadcast are also limited to certain times of the day). Christians are the ones who wanted those rules, and don’t think it’s a violation of free speech.

    Everyone else, and every other important learning experience, is subject to restriction if it shows excessive violence. The Passion should be subject to those same rules.

    At least it’s not as bad as the Phillipines, where they actually nail someone (usually the same guy every year who I guess still has the holes?) though I understand the authorities are not so happy about it nowadays.

  • http://religiouscomics.net Jeff P

    Hey, is that Nathan in the picture who sometimes comments here? ;)

    (Nathan is from Australia)

  • Steven Mading

    The quote: “it wasn’t like we were trying to take over the city or tell everyone they were going to hell.” made me double-take because telling the Christian story of easter is in fact saying that everyone (else) is going to hell. That’s sort of the whole point of claiming, through their bizarre twists of logic, that Jesus needed to make this sacrifice – that it’s the only way to be saved from hell. the ONLY way. That’s the whole friggin’ point of the story.

  • alex

    To the few defending this disgusting farce, let me ask you this: if instead of a crucifixion scene it were a graphic BDSM demonstration that you saw, what would your reaction be?

    Now you know how we feel.

  • Verimius

    I liked the remark in the article by the woman who was worried the display would “scare children away from religion”.

    On that basis there should be one on every street corner.

  • http://base8.lavenderliberal.com/index.html Buffy

    These people are nuts. They think this sort of stuff is fine to show to the general public and unsuspecting passersby. Then they turn around and claim their kids are traumatized for life if they see two guys kissing or a woman’s breast. Nuts!

  • numsix

    @alex
    I would like to point out, it IS a graphic BDSM demonstration.

  • Killer Bee

    If more people went to Church like they are told to then we wouldn’t have to go to such lengths!

    I went to church once where they served coffee and donuts. The coffee was a little bland, but the donuts, selected from a popular, nationally recognized and attested chain, were quite tasty. I wonder if, had they brought that aspect of the church experience to the public, they wouldn’t have encountered a more positive reception. We’ll have to content ourselves with mere speculation on that count, I suppose.

    There are many days where I think, “God! I’d love a donut right about now.” If someone were to pop out of the bushes and present such to me, I think that, after my initial apprehension, I’d be overwhelmed with delight. I’d consider a great many life altering propositions at that point, at least provisionally.
    Reflecting further, I can honestly say I’ve never once, even on the gloomiest of days, experienced a hankering for the sight of a bloodied torso affixed to shoddy masonry. Doubtless, this is one of many fundamental flaws of character emanating from my utter disdain for the benefits of ritual, human sacrifice.

  • CatBallou

    Wow, the Reverend Rory is certainly an ignorant, smug little scold isn’t he!
    First, there is no “historical fact” about Jesus. There’s the same amount of fact as we have about the Greek or Hindu gods–lots of stories and no eyewitnesses.
    Second, if you’re comparing this fictional crucifixion to the sacrifices real soldiers make, do you think we should also see reenactments in the public square of soldiers shot or dismembered by bombs? (Maybe that would be a deterrent to war? I doubt it.) Should we worship these soldiers too? Their real sacrifices for real gains are much more valuable, depending on what one believes about the “benefits” of war.
    Third, there is nothing in the bible that suggests “free speech” as a virtue, and it’s certainly not a right that has been traditionally supported by Christian organizations.
    Finally, your complete and astounding ignorance about the civic virtues of pre-Christian and non-Christian cultures is breathtaking. What arrogance. What sheer stupidity.

  • Arctic Ape

    Place: country tavern somewhere in southern Italy.

    A ruffled-looking man walks in, wearing nothing but a ragged loincloth, and orders a cup of wine.

    His muscular upper body is full of bloody whipping wounds, his forehead has small wounds, and his wrists are pierced by two horrible-looking wounds.

    He also has just this weird otherworldly look of someone who has lately come back after a gruesome death and is still a bit disoriented.

    He speaks ancient Latin, which is barely comprehensible to the tavern owner.

    Now, the tavern owner is a deeply religious man, but also careful in his words. After some hesitating, he just can’t keep his exitement in and blurts:

    “Excuse me sir, but… You’re Jesus Christ, aren’t you?”

    The man rolls his eyes fiercely, gives a deep sigh, and says:

    “NO. For the last time… I AM SPARTACUS!”

  • littlejohn

    A no-brainer. More of these people should nail themselves to things.

  • Jen

    Lastly, you enjoy the very right to voice your opinions here simply because you do indeed live in a Judeo Christian society and if you were to remove EVERY trace of Christianity and it’s morale system as Jesus lived it out, your country would fast become one hell hole on earth, with everyman for himself, doing what seems right to him, because there are no consequences to your actions if there is no standard to judge by!

    Actually, if we really were a Christian nation (this JudeoChristian term irritates the crap out of me, as I can’t ever remember bring lectured by a Jewish person on the street) then I, as a woman, would not be able to speak in church, teach men, or tell my husband (in this Christian nation, my father married me off after I started getting my period, taking me out of school) anything I want since he would be the head of my household. Actually, I probably wouldn’t exist, as I am certain my parents slept together before they got married and in a Christian nation you stone non-virgins to death.

  • muggle

    CatBallou and Jen, thank you for taking that ridiculous argument apart so I don’t have to. Both of you are right on the mark.

    I can’t believe any of you are saying this is a good thing if it terrifies little kids! My grandson doesn’t need to be scared away from Jebus but even if he were being exposed to Sunday school, I’d beg to take issue with you.

    Miko, you’ve got to be joking me. Are you saying anything and everything goes in the name of free speech? I’m surprised at this coming from you frankly since you’re usually pretty given to having no tolerance of oppression. I would raise a rather nasty stink if my grandson walked into this.

    As to the horse’s ass going by the name of Rev. Lennon above, how fucking dare you? What’s the matter? There are actually people like me in this world not letting their kids and grandkids be traumatized by the fucking horror stories in your asshole creed? And you have the fucking nerve to say that he shouldn’t be subjected to “Heather Has 2 Mommies” !!! Goddamn you to hell!!! You best be glad there really isn’t one.

    Of course, if one of those displays is ever thrown in my grandson’s face, I may very well convince you there is a fucking hell and it exists right here on earth because this is one bitch who you won’t be able to shut the fuck up!

    Isn’t free speech wonderful? :D

  • bernerbits

    “I think it was pretty sad that a Christian group couldn’t express what Easter was truly about for one hour

    Guy doesn’t even know the difference between Easter and Good Friday! (to say nothing of the obvious syncretic Pagan roots of the holiday…)

    — it wasn’t like we were trying to take over the city or tell everyone they were going to hell.”

    You may not have said it, but I bet you were thinking it.

  • Josh Reynolds

    I know a guy who went door to door like that one halloween for some kind of church thing. I mean he had the cross, the thorns, covered in blood, everything. So far as I know the cops were never even called. Maybe the camera crew behind him gave it away?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Hellsausage Lachlan Hamilton

     Easter was about rabbits and eggs long before it was about that zombie Jewish guy.

  • Mick

    First, let me say I wouldn’t suggest Christians do this. It ought to be a no-brainer they’re not going to win many converts like this.

    However, it seems like the majority of comments on here are non-Christians, so I’ll take my stab here. I am a Christian and although I think this presentation is a bit over-the-top, but just look at the comments of muggle below. So…lemme get this straight…Christians shouldn’t find ways to publically express their faith because it offends you…but you should be given the right to express yourself as you did in this public forum? I’d rather watch the Jesus freaks.

    Catbalou…there is a lot more evidence for Jesus and His Father than the Hindu gods. There are thousands in the Bible itself (which was written by nearly 40 authors who lived over a 1500 year time period, spoke different languages, lived on different continents and came from all backgrounds – from kings to peasants). Even Josephus (who, incidentally was not a Christian) verifies many of the things recorded in the Bible. So is Yahweh equal to the Hindu Gods? Not by a long shot!

    If there is no God, answer this…where does intelligence come from? Consider that before the first life form (whatever it was) existed, something had to put information into that being, albeit a cell or what have you. How does non-living, non-intelligent matter obtain information? In other words, how did information get in DNA and other cells to tell them what to do, how to do it and when to do it? From everything we have ever seen or known, intelligence always builds upon other intelligence. In fact, you wouldn’t even have the intelligence to mock this response without the existence of God.

    • http://www.flickr.com/groups/invisiblepinkunicorn Anna

      So…lemme get this straight…Christians shouldn’t find ways to publically express their faith because it offends you…but you should be given the right to express yourself as you did in this public forum?

      I think the reason people were upset is because they were frightening children with a gory, bloody display. Even the vast majority of Christians would be put off by such a spectacle. The people involved have the right to do it (as long as they’re not on someone else’s property) but they should expect negative backlash if they do. Personally, if I were walking by with my children, I would turn around and go the other direction. I wouldn’t confront them. But I can see how some parents would be angry and want to say something about the appropriateness (or lack thereof) of the display.

      As for your other comments, they’re Apologetics 101. Those arguments have all been refuted by atheists many, many times. If you’re genuinely interested, I would recommend reading a little more about them, from sources that are not biased in favor of Christianity.


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