The Difference Between Jesus and Zombies

October 31, 2010 By Guest Contributor 26 Comments

And now, you can tell them apart:

(Thanks to Carriebeth for the link!)

Filed Under: General, Humor 26 Comments
  • Devin

    Silly Hemant, zombies do exist.

  • Eddie

    I think it is missing a category of “Speaks coherently?” X X

  • justanotherjones

    LOL. Love it.

  • Steve

    In case of the Zombie Apocalypse you can rest assured that the military is prepared:
    http://www.stripes.com/news/downrange-with-the-living-dead-1.123731

    In another news:
    “The Walking Dead” is starting on AMC today. Great comic series. Great TV series.

  • Ben

    Do self-contradictory teachings count as “coherent?” ;)

  • Carlos Marrero

    Dang! I had this flesh eating business backwards…

  • puppy

    It’s like they’re made for each other!

  • cat

    And using this checklist on Dracula makes him line up with Jesus on everything except ‘wants to eat your flesh’ (if you count blood as the equivalent of flesh).

  • http://www.ctrlaltsmash.com Joel

    Man, i wish I had figured that out when I was younger

  • ash

    The difference is not as clear cut as you may think…

    (2.18 if you don’t want to watch it all)

  • EMB

    And using this checklist on Dracula makes him line up with Jesus on everything except ‘wants to eat your flesh’ (if you count blood as the equivalent of flesh).

    “Wants to drink your blood” vs “Wants you to drink his blood”…

  • http://hoverfrog.wordpress.com hoverfrog

    The whole “do unto others..” speech just makes so much more sense now. BRAAIIIINS!

  • http://www.correntewire.com chicago dyke

    sublime.

  • entroika

    Intense comment thread over on GraphJam which also featured this.

  • http://Q Kevin S.

    I don’t know how to post pictures in this format, but check out the Venn diagram: http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h287/24_Insider_Pernai/13709500sq.gif

  • Greg

    And using this checklist on Dracula makes him line up with Jesus on everything except ‘wants to eat your flesh’ (if you count blood as the equivalent of flesh).

    Surely there’s a Bible quote somewhere that has the ‘metaphorical’ meaning of wanting to eat our flesh?! I mean, that’s what Christians do when they want the Bible to say something (say it’s metaphorical), why shouldn’t we?! ;)

  • http://Q Kevin S.

    No, actually, that’s supposed to be literal. Should go both ways!

  • Maury

    I prefer this Venn Diagram which covers all the scary creature bases…

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/venndiagram/jesus-venn-diagram-pjq

  • http://jsears.xidus.net/blog John Sears

    This graphic is highly offensive.

    After all, not all Zombies eat flesh.

  • http://www.voucherfreebies.co.uk Emily

    Fab – that’s so amusing. I might print it out and stick it to my front door and then refer any god botherers to it when they knock.

  • Christ

    That’s the stupidest thing I’ve yet to see about Jesus and that fact that you’re promoting it…. er…

  • http://www.meaningwithoutgodproject.blogspot.com Jeffrey A. Myers

    Where does Jesus stand on the brain eating?

  • http://youbeginhere.com/ Paul Luna

    As a online pastor I am just curious as to why people who don’t believe in God talk about him so much.

  • Willemien

    I agree with you Paul Luna! My grandfather said they in for a gigantic surprise……and what a unpleasant surprise!

  • David

    Wants you to drink their blood X O

    To the online pastor – because faith-based science and bronze-aged morality is dangerous. People who still believe those fairytales deserve ridicule. I agree with C. Hitchens that heaven would be worse than living in N Korea, because you can never die and get away from the sadistic sky zombie and his waffling old man.

  • BrandonJmontez

    False even science doesn’t doubt he existed they just don’t believe he was god