Another Song Ruined By Jesus…

Looks like there’s a Christian version of “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha:

I’m talkin’ going to Mass on Sunday,
Totally Catholic partay, it’s happenin’ in the liturgy.
Drop down, I’m kneeling before the mighty King
Telling Him He’s my everything.
Listen up, Church, we’re gonna sing.

Our God really rocks, yeah, He ticks the devil off.
When sin enters in, Jesus fights for us and wins.
Tick tock on the clock but the praying don’t stop, no.
Amen. Amen.

As you can tell, the audience is mesmerized. I think they’re trying to figure out who Ke$ha is.

For those of you who read blogs all day, she’s a popular singer. Glad I could help.

***Update***: Is that one not enough for you? Then enjoy the Christian version of Justin Bieber:

(via Christian Nightmares)

  • Angel

    There are things that can’t be unseen…..

  • Yeonghoon Joung

    First video: So sad it made me squirm in my seat.

    Second video: Just ridiculously creepy. Seriously.

    Both: Bad singing. Jesus, or no Jesus the singing just turns me off.

  • Dave

    I think I brained my damage.

  • Matt

    Ghads! Luau is bad even by Contemporary Christian standards. It looks and sounds amateurish.

    The technopraise Bieber imitator is OK. In its own closed world, it is actually pretty good.

    I have personal and professional concerns about the whole shadow culture of inferior products created for the recruitment and isolation of their members.

    Apologist Franky Schaeffer wrote a book called “Addicted to Mediocrity.” These would be excellent examples of Mediocrity engendared by the Religious Right.

  • http://www.tos100.com TOS100

    I had read about how some churches are trying to re-capture the young audience by start hip, cool, rap or rock services.

    Some believe this may be causing more harm than good for the church.

    We can only hope.

  • Wendy

    Something’s worse than autotune no talent hack Kes-dollar sign-a?

    Don’t believe it

  • Jim [different Jim]

    Well….there’s 6 and a half minutes of my life that I will never get back.

  • Peregrine

    Another song ruined by Jesus? Tik Tok was pretty well ruined by Ke$ha. When a song is that bad out of the box, the worst Chri$tians can do is fail to make any improvement.

  • Jersey Devil

    When someone says “song ruined by Ke$ha”, it implies that there wasn’t ruin in the first place. Ke$ha and everything that comes forth from her is already in a state of ruin. All these videos done is to make the ruination on the opposite side of the spectrum.

  • Aut

    In the first video I love the beast of a “woman” in the foreground that looks like she is demon possessed.

    Both this and Kesha versions have the same beats and half a$$ed lyrics. One get drunk in a bar and the other getting drunk of some guys blood.

  • anatman

    viewing this and greta christina’s article on atheist christmas music gave me an idea. how about a contest to give greta more holiday tunes to choose from? the idea is to take a religious carol such as silent night or joy to the world and give it secular lyrics. i don’t mean a humorous parody or, since the idea is celebration, not polemic (much as i enjoy both), an explicitly atheist remake. i’m envisioning songs everyone can be comfortable with and enjoy singing, so no replacing “jesus” with “dawkins” etc. if you, hemant, or someone else with a platform wants to do this, i think it would be a good thing. well, enough holiday goodwill, back to being bitter and confrontational.

  • Richard P.

    We need to call someone, those kids have been forced into this shameful behavior with fear and mental torture. They probably used alcohol too. Priests and their fucking wine.
    Why do they keep going down on their knees like that? What part of the training was that for?
    Doesn’t sound like they mean it.

    I can’t do it, I just can’t bare to watch the second.

    Hemant, have you no shame?

  • http://jetson.wordpress.com Jetson

    Apparently Jesus does not approve of using autotune. I’m sure it’s in the scriptures somewhere! Oh well.

  • headbang

    SLAYER!!!!!

  • JD

    The first one looks like a private performance of a group of people doing it just for fun. I would be very concerned if this is a professional group. Copying a bad song that was performed by a bad performer is almost poetic, even though it’s all anti-poetic. I’d rather listen to static.

    The second one looks like they tried too hard. Making a Jesusified secular song and trying to imitate the looks, and presumably the mannerisms of a popular “secular” performer so much is just tacky. Supposedly Bieber is a Christian, but he isn’t wearing his beliefs on his sleeve, unlike typical conteporary Christian music (CCM) performers, and if you don’t sing about Jesus every song, then that’s not enough for the CCM market. And that’s largely why so much of CCM is bad, often even worse than current popular music.

  • jon

    The first christian cover I ever saw, made me so angry. It was several years ago and some Tammy Faye look a like on some christian morning service sang “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. While singing the old skag replaced “World” with “God”. It still angers me just thinking back on that.

    Since these people are using the garbage pop people listen to today to make these songs. I rather not waste my time watching them. In no way would my life gain anything from hearing said garbage pop music. It goes double for some terrible christian remix.

  • Mr Z

    So why is it that they are pretending to be at a night club? The entertainment, the glasses, the whole setup… what gives? How is that being honest to their beliefs?

  • http://Religiouscomics.net Jeff P

    I couldn’t watch either song all the way through but I did get farther along in the second one. I do like the “Mary did you know” song if it is song well with a haunting voice. This rendition just didn’t have it. They did have fun playing with the focus but that wasn’t enough.

  • http://www.happyatheists.com Slickninja

    Christianity all the awesome of music… and shits on it, be it any genre, from hip hop to rock to pop.

  • Michael

    It’s interesting to see these people use their vivid imaginations, to bad none of them know what they’re actually talking about…………..

  • Danish Atheist

    I could really only bear about 1 minute of each video.

    The worst I have seen so far, though, was a youtube clip from a danish religious youtube channel “Godmorgen Gud” (Goodmorning God”) where a couple of trying-very-hard-to-be-hip-but-failing-miserably girls sang a “hip-hop” song called “Det står i biblen” (It’s in the bible) standing on a skating ramp and actually tossing hand signs like rappers …. ughh! It was terrible!! And yet fascinating in a horrible kind of way.

    Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBVJJo5BjHw

  • DaveS

    I think my ears are bleeding. My eyes too. Why? Why!!??????

  • gsw

    Well, I seem to be the only one that actually liked it!

    ice voice, compelling music – not quite up to “Song of Joy” but all things considered.

    Come on people, how many of the rediculous song texts does one agree with? I also liked “Did Jesus have a baby sister?”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Ql4p5ikno

  • Drew M.

    Allow me to retort:

    Jesus is My Friend (YouTube)

  • Claudia

    The first one was too embarrasing to watch whole. The second one is no better nor worse than the usual Bieber drivel.

    Even so, I’m not planning on forgiving you for this, Hemant ¬¬

  • J. J. Ramsey

    For those of you who might want an antidote to Ke$ha, here’s “Sing Talk”: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1935457

    Merry Christmas!

  • Carlie

    I am still astounded that Keisha is known at all, while artists like Janelle Monae still hasn’t quite broken the mainstream.

  • Claudia

    In any event if you want songs about Mary, there are, shall we say, alternative options.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000586562927 Donna Hamel (muggle)

    I had read about how some churches are trying to re-capture the young audience by start hip, cool, rap or rock services.

    Starting to? I last went to church in 1976 and they were doing it then. Don’t sweat it, people. It’s not very effective. Too lame to be.

    The first christian cover I ever saw, made me so angry. It was several years ago and some Tammy Faye look a like on some christian morning service sang “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. While singing the old skag replaced “World” with “God”. It still angers me just thinking back on that.

    Oh, man, that is wrong on so many levels. I hope I continue to miss it for the rest of my life. “What a Wonderful World” is one of my favorite songs and I’m angered just hearing about it.

    I had a similar experience, though. When I was a Christian teenager actually. Some Tammy Faye look alike (ok, so that was before I ever heard of her but still…) did “Bridge Over Troubled Water” on a Billy Graham special which my hero Paul Simon wrote and went on and on about how Jesus was that bridge. I was just screaming at the TV, he’s a Jew, you asshole, making great inroads in my lousy relationship with my mother. Maybe she did me a favor. I never watched Billy Graham again.

    I did, however, (I cringe to admit this), listen to Garner Ted Armstrong on the radio weekly for a while. This was when I thought I could talk to god and listen to the casual reply. I’m feeling much better now.

    I don’t know either Ke$ha or Justin Bieber though I’ve heard of them, of course. Enough to know I don’t want to listen to either of them any more than I care to waste any time playing either of these videos. I’ll take a pass on both Christian and secular versions.

  • http://www.robinlionheart.com/ Robin Lionheart

    As Hank Hill said when Bobby joined a Christian rock band, “You’re not making Christianity cool, you’re just making rock suck.”

    Though with Ke$ha and Beiber, perhaps the damage has already been done…


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