The Anus is Broken Now

February 23, 2011 By Guest Contributor 33 Comments

Thanks to Jesusophile, I now know waaaaaaay more about sodomy than I ever wanted to:

I feel awkward now.

And yet I can’t stop laughing…

Filed Under: General, Humor 33 Comments
  • Robin

    WTF. This dude has lost his mind…

  • Liokae

    Is… is this a Poe?

    ’cause it’s freakin’ HILARIOUS.

  • jolly

    One might think it would be far more dangerous to have your head up your ass than a penis.

  • shawn

    Gotta be Poe’s Law in action

  • Liokae

    I’m watching some of the other videos he’s put up.

    I’m about 95% certain he’s not serious.

    But he *is* absolutely hilarious.

  • Michelle

    Christians obsess over anal sex because it’s such a loophole to plug-in-outlet sexual design. How inconvenient you need to shove something up there in order to stimulate it! But how conveniently placed for another man’s dick!

  • http://www.mongenel.com Duo

    Wow. Just…. WOW. Best laugh I’ve had this week.

  • John Small Berries

    The interesting thing about “sodomy” is that, according to the Bible itself, the “wickedness” of Sodom wasn’t sexual in nature, but indolence and uncharitableness: Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good. (Ezekiel 16:49-50)

    But just like the tale of Onan (who aroused God’s wrath by refusing God’s direct command to impregnate his brother’s widow) was turned into justification for condemning masturbation, so the tale of Sodom and Gomorrah was twisted into a condemnation of other sexual practices.

  • Tom

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPRkYVxO4eQ

    This is obviously satire. Smart satire. Everyone here is picking up on that, right?

  • http://bestlittlestudio.com James

    Just look up The Ballad of Onan – The Poxy Boggards for a great description of Onan and his exploits.

  • http://noadi.etsy.com Noadi

    This has to be a Poe, it has to. It’s far too silly to be serious.

    Also: Poe or not I love that accent.

  • Minus

    It’s great to see this guy back again. I can’t imagine (wink wink) where he’s been. I wonder if he is just out on furlough. I see he is growing both sides of his mustache this time. I hope that is not a sign of impending sanity.

  • Azkyroth

    Around 1:54 -

    …aren’t we the optimist?

  • Mark

    I’m in the Poe camp on this one.

  • Zac

    Up until 2:20, he was actually making sense. Anal sex is not a healthy way to do it. The skin on the inside of the anus is not suited to the thrusting and friction of butt sex, and is prone to breakage.

  • Lynn

    What’s going to be funny is when he gets AIDS from sticking his unjacketed penis in a vagina that has AIDS. What a total ignoramus! What’s really sad is he truly believes the poop that is coming out of his mouth that should only be coming out of his anus!! ARRRGGHHH!

  • Anonymous

    God did create the prostate, no? :P

  • Sven

    Don’t worry, he is a Poe.
    I didn’t watch this video though.

  • alexh

    he seems to know an awful lot for someone who is hatin on it lol

  • http://chandays.blogspot.com Larry Meredith

    is this guy just joking? I seems to me more like he’s subtly doing a satire. If you watch his previous video on “curing homosexuality” he admits to feeling aroused when touched by other men, and then claims in order to convince himself he was still straight he sexually assaulted his mother, whom told him to do it to his sister instead…

  • Alex

    I watched a few more of his vids. This guy is definitely not serious! However, I have to admit I fell for it, too! :D

  • Claudia

    Jesusophile is and always has been satire, though of course there are always people on his comments who are unaware of this.

    It’s not surprising he’s mistaken for the real thing, considering that true believers are no less crazy.

  • melody

    i had no idea that a penis in this guys world is shaped like a glass cleaner bottle. maybe he needs to see a doctor (for a whole lot of reasons).
    *facepalm*

  • JD

    John Small Berries: Wasn’t the requirement on Onan to impregnate the wife of his deceased brother a cultural one and not a divine one? My understanding of that text was he was killed for his greediness, he wanted the possessions that rightfully belonged to the heirs.

  • JR

    Lmao, I don’t think hes seriousd. At least I hope not because I laughed so hard! Woooommm Buh :P

  • http://girlofthegaps.blogspot.com/ Nicole Schrand

    @Azkyroth – I know guys who would kill for one that proportionally large!

  • bigjohn756

    A woman has an anus, too. Also, why does God put the soul only into the sperm? Isn’t that misogynistic? Would God be misogynistic…Oh, wait, yes, he would, could and is.
    Anyway, I, too, believe this guy to be a Poe, but I think he’s to silly to be funny.

  • migrainegirl

    I know several Christians who have had anal sex because it’s not “real sex”, therefore they are still “virgins”.

  • cat

    @small berries, we actually can pinpoint the historical moment where the Sodom story was flipped from its traditional interpretation (focusing on hospitality) into the newer one about it being about gay sex. Emperor Justinian, who instituted one of the first ever recorded criminalizations of same sex sex within a legal code, is credited with popularizing the argument in his attempt to scapegoat his non-christian political opponents. While Leviticus and Deuteronomy forbid male on male sex, it does not follow from them that the activities of non-christians should be seen as a danger to christians (the whole “how does what I do in my bedroom affect you” argument). By associating “sexual immorality” with doom for an entire society, Justinian could more effectively blame non-christians (who tended to be more sexually liberal than the prudish christians) for everything that went wrong.

    Another note: if “anal sex” equals insertion of the male penis into the male anus, what do you call insertion of a penis into a female anus? Also, if you are “forcing it in” and “break[ing] the anus”, you are doing it wrong. “A condom doesn’t actually stop the sperm”. Er, what the fuck kind of condom are you using? And, is it sad that I would choose HIV in the child/HIV dicotomy choice?

  • shen

    It is pretty disturbing that he starts out with the typical rationalization from the fundie crowd and ends with “OMG did he really just say that” and yet I am unable to pinpoint the part where he actually crosses the line….

    “Curing homosexuality” is pretty damn funny too.

  • http://cheapsignals.blogspot.com/ Gretchen

    Also: Poe or not I love that accent.

    Which one? I counted at least three.

    This did not make me laugh…this made me want to back away slowly. Or quickly, rather.

  • NotYou007

    Yes, I knew it was satire but anal sex can feel great for a man or woman when it is done properly.

    A lot of straight men enjoy anal sex alone or with a female partner but it has to be done properly and the right type of lube is a must.

    BTW, my anus has been broken and I’ve yet to get the aids.

  • Crux Australis

    Done it (with a woman), both enjoyed it, hoping to do it again. No baby, no AIDS. Just a whole lot of fun.