A decade ago, Doug Fields wrote a book for Christian couples called 365 Things Every Couple Should Know.
Seanbaby at Cracked has gone through the book and added all sorts of commentary:
Ugh. Is there maybe a grosser way you could have put that? Like “After 60, your lover’s eyes will hatch millipedes that crawl into your dick hole.” Or “The liftable folds of your lover hide surprises of soup and keepsakes.”
Like with a heartfelt shriek or a friendly vomit.
In that no one likes it? Or because one guy gets really noisy and everyone else takes the opportunity to go pee? Or is it because afterward it takes two guys 20 minutes to load your wife into a van? Doug, you can’t just drop an analogy grenade like that and run.
Plenty more where that came from right here