A few weeks ago [my daughter] entered the Sunday School contest for “Make-your-own-Armor-of-God” with a sword she made from cardboard and tinfoil. She won.
When I asked why she wasn’t more excited about it, she said,“I won a bookmark with a dead guy on it.” True story. I assume the dead guy was Jesus, but when I asked her if she knew who Jesus was, she told me, “He was God’s neighbor, or little brother or something” and that “he was always getting in trouble and learning lessons.” I’m fairly sure she’s confusing Jesus with Dennis the Menace. Which is fine, because she’s 6 and she has time to learn. I do, however, feel that it’s important to pass on your knowledge to your children, and this is why I’ve created a short lesson for kids about everything I know about religion.
(Does that mean Mr. Wilson is God since Dennis is always trying to hang out with him…?)
As reader Angie writes, “it makes me happy when widely-read folks who don’t identify as atheists and have a much broader reach write posts like this.” I totally agree.
Lawson’s lesson also contains some very useful Biblical translations for kids:
“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” = “Don’t feed the trolls.”
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” = “Be nice. It makes you look skinnier.”
“If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death.” = “God’s swear jar is insanely severe.”
If you’d like to offer any other religious saying translations, I’d love to hear them
(Thanks to Angie for the link!)
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