The Onion tells a truth… and we laugh because we rarely hear anyone say it:
Despite a lack of divine intervention by the Son of God or any other higher power, area man Tom Wendt has somehow managed to overcome his alcoholism, sources confirmed Friday. “It was causing so many problems at work and with my family that I decided to stop drinking before it ruined my life,” said Wendt, who credited his own willpower, a desire to better himself as a human being, and not Jesus Christ for the otherwise inexplicable recovery…
For anyone who needs the help, there are secular alternatives to Alcoholics Anonymous.
(Thanks to Alan for the link!)