This Guy Needs a Roommate…

***Update***: Boo… it’s a fake ad that appears in other cities, too. Oh well.

I have no idea who this person is, but he’s a Secular Humanist, he needs a roommate in the Boston area, and he appears to be all sorts of hilarious:

A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I’m just like, “Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it’s not mine.” I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don’t eat meat? That’s fucking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.

I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesday’s with Morrie the other day. It’s a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don’t have to talk to you at all. It’s completely UP TO YOU!

I think I’m gonna move to Boston so I can be his friend.

(Thanks to Micah for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://anotherguy.us/ Tim Stiffler-Dean

    You know, I was looking for a roommate in the Dayton area, but maybe I’ll move to Boston instead. 

    • burgerburgs

      Either way, Boston > Dayton. If it’s the one in OH, anyway.

  • http://twitter.com/TortugaSkeptic A secret red slider

    Roommate my ass, this guy is a keeper.  

  • bronwynm23

    He’s a professional marketing agent and he markets himself by dropping repeated f-bombs?  I don’t know; sounds like a Stifler. 

  • sj

    As funny as this is, it’s fake.  Here’s an identical listing for San Francisco: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html

  • Achess

    My future best friend.

  • Heidi

    Bummer that’s it’s fake.  Could you guys still move to Boston, though?  Or better yet, about an hour and a half west of Boston?

  • http://twitter.com/TominousTone Tom Lawson

    I couldn’t concentrate on the article because there is an advert for The Baby Bullet right next to it. Is that for fast-food, Hemant?

  • Mrschili

    I’m disappointed that’s a fake ad.  That was hysterical.

  • Anonymous

    mmmm….. fried green tomatoes with crabmeat and bearnaise.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine.As opposed to northern cajun cuisine.


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