Planting Seeds in Michele Bachmann’s Head…

Republicans should take note: God spoke to Dr. Metablog and told him which candidates need to get out of the presidential race:

I asked Him if He had any other preferences in the upcoming election. He sighed. “I don’t want either Bachmann or Palin either. They’re doofae.” I wasn’t surprised that God was so adamantine about B and P, because of their shallow religiosity and deficient knowledge of history, but I was truly shocked that God called them by the faux-Latin feminine plural “doofae.” I mean, doofus isn’t even a real Latin word, despite its -us ending, and so there’s no singular feminine “doofa.” I would have thought that God would have a better command of His Latinity. I was so taken aback that I forgot to ask Him how he felt about Newt, whom I myself would definitely prefer to be the Republican candidate. He’s so loveable.

If God said it and someone heard it, it must be true.

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • randomatheist

    Talk about fertile soil…that woman is FULL of crap ;-)

    • Jarppu

      I laughed so hard at that :D

  • bigjohn756

    Very funny, plus, I learned two(2) new words from this informative message. Mainly, of course, was ‘doofae’, and the other was ‘adamantine’. My spell checker doesn’t know what to do with either of these words.

    • Anonymous

      ‘Adamantine’, early 13th century, from the Latin ‘adamantinus’ meaning “hard as steel, inflexible.

      ‘Doofae’ is just made up though.

  • NorDog

    Verbum sursum tu mater, hominibus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Dunlap/1418932885 Kenneth Dunlap

    Please do not put seeds in her head. Seeds require nourishment and it has been WELL demonstrated that her head is empty. Do not starve seeds please.

  • Annie

    I am a big fan of creative writing, but I adore creative vocabulary.  If you’re not inventing at least one word a week, you’re slacking.  As for Michelle Bachmann?  Don’t get me started…

  • Anonymous

    well said, well said

  • http://diaryofamessylady.wordpress.com/ Lauren

    I’d vote for Newt too. This one: http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/object/142/14222231/aliens_newt_160x225boxart_160w.jpg

    I mean, she survived against the aliens for freaking ever all by herself AS A KID. That’s more than Palin or Bachmann can claim.

  • Ben Larson

    @ KDunlap

    Au contraire, mon ami!  Her cranium is filled with a substance not unlike natural fertilizer.


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