I Guess They’re Taking ‘Hallowed Be Thy Name’ Literally…

It’s not just that some Christians want to give out Bibles and tracts and the “gift of salvation” on Halloween. (You always knew which houses in your neighborhood to avoid when you went Trick-or-Treating…)

It’s that they are calling this event “Jesus Ween” and they have no idea why 12-year-old boys everywhere are laughing up a storm.

So, what’s next? Are Muslims going to start giving away copies of the Koran and call it AllahWeen? Or maybe some celebrity’s gonna start a trend where people celebrate KabbalahWeen and hand out “Soul” Food…

Fine. Let Christians have the holiday. No better way to honor a faith that worships a zombie, right?

(Thanks to Anh for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the editor of Friendly Atheist, appears on the Atheist Voice channel on YouTube, and co-hosts the uniquely-named Friendly Atheist Podcast. You can read much more about him here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=553145445 Gordon Duffy

    At least Allah’ween is close in sound enough to merge relatively seamlessly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=553145445 Gordon Duffy

    At least Allah’ween is close in sound enough to merge relatively seamlessly.

  • http://www.thehighwayhermit.com James Bulls

    You never can tell what the ‘Weeners will come up with next.

  • http://profiles.google.com/schwabby Aaron Schwab

    My 12-year-old boy reaction upon reading this post was “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WEEN.” I’m almost 26. I hope this never changes.

    • http://twitter.com/splodie splodie

      I’m a 46 year old grandmother who had the same 12 year old reaction. 

      • Bruce

        I’m a 46 year old father of a three year old. The grass looks greener on your side of the fence.

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ Anonymous

      My inner 12-year-old was highly amused.

  • http://twitter.com/0xabad1dea Melissa E

    They need to be weaned off Jesus I reckon…

  • http://twitter.com/dalekpete Peter Whiteley

    The basis of the “holiday” is from the Christian calendar; it is All Hallows Eve.  It was very big in Ireland which is why it probably migrated to become an American institution.  In Ireland the celebrations were led by the Catholic Church and you would have to count Eire as one of the most religious western countries (until they recently recognised all the kiddy-fiddling.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=755573416 Matt Unique Smith

    I owuld totally go for Matzoween

  • Midnite Rider

    I find it interesting how Christians try to insert Jesus everywhere. It’s as if they must be thinking of god every second or they will burn in hell. It is OCD. Obsessive
    Christian Disorder. Maybe they should make every holiday a Christian holiday. Like the Fourth of Jesus-ly, Inde-Jesus-pendence Day, Memorial Day could be In Memory of Jesus Day. Labor Jesus Day. New Jesus Year. Sheesh.

    • Keated

      Or perhaps need to insert Jesus’ ‘ween’ everywhere XD

  • Anonymous

    Are you saying this evangelism strategy won’t be convincing, but will only make you laugh? Duh!

    This blog helps me to see the log of arrogance and privilege in my eye, not to mention the misguided goal of getting everyone to think and believe like “us” (in the Jesus camp)

    I am trying to learn to love without an agenda

    And allow me to say sorry about that folks, be patient with us

  • GARY GABBARD

    I totally support this. I can think of nothing that will turn children off Christianity more than giving them a Bible when they were expecting candy.

  • Newavocation

    Ever wonder why it’s always something other than the bible or Jesus related that makes a holiday fun and worthwhile? Xmas = Santa and gift giving; Easter = Bunnies, eggs, hats; St. Pats Day = Drinking green beer; Halloween = Costumes, trick or treating.

    • Anonymous

      The gift giving at Christmas comes from the Roman Saturnalia festival. And the custom of spending it with the extended family is really from various winter solstice celebrations. It was the time the harvest was done and a long winter was coming. So the work was done and there was plenty of food available.

      Easter was originally a pagan fertility festival. Think about it. Eggs? Bunnies? Those are fertility symbols. A source of life and an animal that, maybe somewhat stereotypically, has lots of offspring

      • Annie

        Yes, and it wasn’t terribly long ago that Jesus was attached to winter celebrations.  It was used to tame down the otherwise drunken carolers who would ring your door in search of more drink or money.  Nothing like slapping a baby Jesus on a holiday to suck all the fun out of it.

        • Midnite Rider

          Will they be tossing little candy crucifixes in the halloween bags or tiny bottles of holy water?

    • Anonymous

      Because all that other stuff was the stuff that the holidays were originally about (except for St. Pat’s day maybe).  The Jesus stuff is always an overlay, even when they do it twice (as in this case).

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ Anonymous

      Because some people just live to suck the fun out of everything. There have always been people like this, there always will be.

      So, let’s all have fun just to spite them?

  • GregFromCos

    This seems so PoeIsh to me. But I’m guessing it is not. What Poe would go so far as to call it JesusWeen! 

    • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ Anonymous

      A 12 year old boy?

  • Anonymous

    The thing that bothers me most about this is the illiteracy of it. Jesus E’en I could just shrug my shoulders at.  But Jesus Ween??? What the fuck’s a ween?

    • Michael S

      Ween off of Jesus. (Candy crutch)

    • http://www.facebook.com/scott.j.jordan Scott James Jordan

      There is an alternative rock band named Ween, but I don’t think they play Christian rock!

  • Annie

    Who can afford to give out books to trick-or-treaters?  I imagine even if you purchase bibles in bulk, they still must be at least a few bucks a piece.

    • Anonymous

      Not to mention, who are they giving these Bibles to, other fundamentalist Christians?  Methinks they already have Bibles to spare.

  • Roxane

    Darn!  There for a minute I thought they were going to wean themselves off Jesus.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-A-Anderson/100000016895400 John A. Anderson

    I you celebrate JesusWeen, does that make you a JesusWeener? Some southern cracker could probably make a small fortune selling corndogs under that name.

  • Anonymous

    I’m in favor of anything that makes Christians look like people far outside the mainstream of American culture.  Halloween is wonderful tradition when people actually see their neighbors and little kids have fun and eat candy, and young adults dress in slutty costumes and get drunk.  A joyous time is had by all.  So, go ahead Christians, hate on Halloween, and give each other Bibles (as if you don’t have enough Bibles already), and show the rest of America how weird and insular you have become.

  • Anonymous

    The ignorance of the comments from believers… wow, it burns so much!  I love Zombie Day!

  • Erp

    I wonder if other types of books might be more popular?  Though the kids are probably a bit young for Naked Pastor. 

  • Erp

    I wonder if other types of books might be more popular?  Though the kids are probably a bit young for Naked Pastor. 

  • Midnite Rider

    Don’t take the Hallo out of Halloween! lol.

  • Heisenberg

    This will not stand! If we can’t have a war on Christmas then they can’t have a war on Halloween! 

    lol.

  • Flora

    If I was writing this newscast, I would have included: “Christians hope to see JesusWeen springing up in towns across America”

    Ohhh I make myself laugh.

  • http://twitter.com/highlandkitty and you’re not

    I just heard about this today. At first I thought Ween had a new album out. Then I scrambled over here to make sure Hement had something to say about it. I’ve always loved Halloween, as everyone needs a good Zombie themed holiday.


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