Ways We Ignore Jesus

Posted on October 12, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Betty Bowers is a True ChristianTM and she knows exactly how we Americans ignore the words of Jesus:

Highlight:

If we give all our money to the poor, they’d be rich and we’d be poor, so we’d have to give it all right back to us! You just save a step and keep it. Trust me. You can’t be both Capitalist and Christian if you don’t have the stones to outsmart Commie Christ.

(Thanks to Mimi for the link!)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago.
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  • Monty

    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore

    Riding through the land

    Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore

    Without a merry band

    He steals from the poor. And gives to the rich

    Stupid bitch.

  • Monty

    Moore: Wait a tic… blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.

  • http://religionsetspolitics.blogspot.com/ Joshua Zelinsky

    In case anyone is wondering, yes this is a parody. It is done by the same people who did Landover Baptist. 

  • Monty

    Moore: Halt! Halt! (the stage comes to a halt and the occupants get out rapidly, their hands held high)
    Gentlemen, ladies, bring out your
    valuables please. Come along sir, come along. Come along, madam, come
    along. Oh, is that all you’ve got? Well, he’s got much more than you, so
    you’d better have some of
    his… (transfers money from one passenger to another, dropping some)
    sorry… pick them up in a moment… there’s about oh, what, nine down
    there… so you must have
    about… oh, he’s still got lots… oh you’ve got what? … you’ve got
    more than he started with… so if I give you some of those (transferring more coins)
    …
    well now, look … If I give you that… have you got a bit of
    jewellery? Yes, If I give you that one and you have some of his coins (the credits start, superimposed)
    is that another box? Were you trying to hide it? Well, that’s nice!
    Right! Now, I’ve got a tiara… you’ve got one… you’ve got one of the
    boxes… you’ve got one… anyone else got a tiara?
    Take your hat off! (passenger does so to reveal a tiara) Oh, honestly, it’s absolutely pointless trying to do this if you’re going to cheat. It really is awful of
    you. (fade out)

  • Ronlawhouston

    Betty is the best.  She reminds me of so many people I know.

  • Mike

    Is this the lupin express?

  • BenFromCA

    I took Betty’s advice one step further and instead of not listening to Jebus, I pretend he never even existed!  I am SOOOO Christian! 

  • Em

    Hey! Athiests are better Christians than…Christians. Akward. 

  • Charles Black

    Betty reminds me of Edward Current for some reason.
    That reason being that she pokes gaping holes in Christian talk about being good when they are no better than everyone else. Talk about a way to get the effing idiots off their high horses of theirs.