Reader Amy saw this book at Walmart:
That tiger doesn’t look like he wants to get on the ark.
I think he’s probably looking back to see how many more tigers are in line so he can figure out if he’s one of the pair that gets to live or one of the sevens to be sacrificed to this loving god. He’s probably thinking “if I don’t see five more tigers back there, I’m fucking making a break for it.”
The ark must have been a TARDIS
I saw this somewhere the other day, but all I could do was scoff. Glad someone took a picture. I wonder if the story of the bears eating the children are in there. That’s certainly one of my favorites.
(also, I wasn’t in a Walmart, nor have I been in one for at least 10 years)
I saw this in a Quality Dairy a few weeks ago, some of the “Amazing facts” include:The flood waters were 25 feet above the highest mountainNoah’s ark was taller than a 4 story building and bigger than a football field.Now, considering there is no reference anywhere in the bible to how high the flood waters were, so they pulled that out of their asses, (I have asked a pastor who agrees, total fabrication).Also, according to Genesis 6 : 15-1615 This is how you are to build it: The ark is to be three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high.[d] 16 Make a roof for it, leaving below the roof an opening one cubit[e] high all aroundThat’s 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high, so longer than a football feild, yes, wider, no.As for being taller than a 4 story building, well, that depends on what you consider a story. According to WikiAnswers “Most homes have story heights of 9-10 feet. Commercial buildings, such as office buildings or retail stores, can have story heights ranging from 10-15 feet or more. Big-box stores, such as Wal-mart or Home Depot, have story heights of 20-25 feet.”Though a lot of christaians will hang onto the larger end of things (and I’m sure a Hemo depot would have come in handy for Noah) genesis says 30(+1) cubits tall, that,s 45 feet. Though I have seen some creationist sites claim that, and I’m not making this up, “larger cubits were used”.All in all, a very loose interpretation of the word fact.
The expressions kill me.
Tiger: Raising an eyebrow and curling his lip at Noah’s words. Lion: I… I don’t know. He appears to be stoned.* Lioness: DEFINITELY stoned.
Why is Noah’s staff thinner than a thumb? What exactly can he do with that? Measure cubits?
Why is the Ark on a barren mountain? Where is all the spare lumber and fittings, the barrels of fossil fuel-derived pitch, the housing for his family during their labors, the scaffolding? Who the FUCK would put a giant hole in the side of a boat intended to be used in a divine flood?
…why does it have a bowsprit?
*either on drugs, or he caught a rock between the eyes because he wore blended fabrics or something.