Shit Skeptics Say

You may think you’re sick and tired of the “Shit___ Say” meme, but John Rael’sShit Skeptics Say” is still worth two minutes of your time (NSFW language):

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There are many good lines, but a few stand out enough to be worth highlighting.

Well it was just a theory… like GRAVITY.

Aren’t you a little old for an imaginary friend?

Hey, do you know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proven to work?

You know that doesn’t actually do anything, right [multiple times]?

I don’t think Richard Dawkins is sexist.

Vaccines are not a matter of your opinion.

A lot of these are things skeptics say all the time because the the situations that merit that particular response keep coming up. But Rael and his co-writer Ross Blocher managed to strike a balance between exasperation and self-effacement by including lines like “we should totally start our own podcast” and “you know, PZ Myers once mentioned me in a blog post.”

Rael and his friends have a YouTube channel called Skeptically Pwnd that I was unaware of until today. Their satire is aimed at a lot of familiar targets (ghost hunters, John Edward, and Bigfoot), but they have many fresh approaches. Yet somehow, their most watched video is still shy of 50,000 views. I think it’s time to spread the word.

About Bentley Owen

Bentley Owen reads books and lives in Tulsa, OK. He's on twitter.

  • http://twitter.com/ThyGoddess Michelle

    “Dude, Phil Plait accepted my friend request.” <- LOVE.

  • kit

    My favourite is: “Mom, I want you to go to snopes.com . . .”

  • Skeptic555

    Doctor Who reference FTW!

    • Yukimi

      Not relevant but: 
      The Proclaimers “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”, here’s the cast and crew special for the end of David Tennant’s tenure as the Doctor.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s4Czla6tXc 
      I like Mat Smith but the tenth is my Doctor :P

      • Skeptic555

        That has made my day. So much joy in there. So much passion. Thank you for linking. 

        • Yukimi

          You are welcome. It’s really a heart-warming vid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-A-Anderson/100000016895400 John A. Anderson

    How about: “Because humans didn’t evolve from modern chimps.”

  • Rod Chlebek

    Hell yeah. Loving it

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

    “I’m not using any elevators at TAM”
    “You’re not gunna see me talking to any girls at TAM”

    I wonder if the feminist issues raised lately will end up just scaring some men away from talking to women entirely at conferences. The debate about etiquette and how to properly treat women has become so hostile it’s not worth the risk of becoming the next Elevator Guy by accident.

    • A Woman

      It’s good that you’ve zeroed in on the people who are REALLY affected by feminist issues… The Men. For the love of god, won’t someone please think of the Men?!

      • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

        I see what you did thar.
        You try to make it look like I’m calling men victims of feminism.
        Very clever.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

          If I were you, I wouldn’t try talking to any women at atheist conventions. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

      I wonder if all the men completely missing the point about feminist issues within the atheist community will just end up scaring women away entirely at conferences?  I know I don’t plan on attending any atheist convention anytime soon. I wouldn’t want to become the next female atheist pariah by calmly and rationally asserting my right to not to be invited back to a hotel for sex by a complete stranger at five o’clock in the morning. 

      Pardon my bitterness, I just wish men in the atheist community would actually GET it. This is exactly why I don’t involve myself with my fellow atheists.

      • Anonymous

        I’m an Irish woman and I found myself relieved that I didn’t go to that conference in Dublin because being in the company of prissy american women getting self righteous over a  coffee invite would have put me of hanging out with fellow atheists for life! 

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

          “Come back to my hotel room for coffee” at 5AM is very different from, “Would you like to head to Starbucks?” at 2PM. One implies sex, the other one is clearly for coffee. I hope you’re not dense enough to think that the strange man seriously only wanted to share a warm beverage with Rebecca Watson. I am a strong, feminist woman, not a prissy one – a strong woman who would not tolerate being propositioned for sex by a strange man who missed the point entirely. 

      • A Portlander

        You have a right to not be asked a question? That’s absurd. The point of this whole movement is that nobody has the right to remain comfortably unchallenged.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

          Being asked a question does NOT equate to being propositioned for sex by a strange man, especially in a situation where you are alone and in an unfamiliar territory. The fact you even try to equate the two is absurd, and is a gross minimization of the issues female atheists face. I have the right to go to a convention and not be made to feel uncomfortable by men – plain and simple. That is NOT an idea that needs to be challenged in any way, shape or form.

          If this attitude of yours is the majority among men that fill the halls of an atheist convention, I would not be interested in attending. I would hope that atheist males – claiming to be people of reason – would embrace feminism (the fight for the equality of the sexes), and thus, actually LISTEN to women’s concerns.

          • A Portlander

            “I have the right to go to a convention and not be made to feel uncomfortable by men – plain and simple.”

            Why? How do you justify this? I’d love to be able to prohibit all sorts of people from making me feel uncomfortable. Can you help me hook that up?

      • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

        I do appreciate the concerns women have. I wasn’t implying that the issues raised were unwarranted. My point is the bitterness that you admit to raising is also a problem when it gets to the level of hostility that you literally tell me straight up that I shouldn’t speak to women at all at conferences. These debates have the result of both, as you say, turning women with legitimate concerns into female atheist pariahs, as well as turning men who make mistakes or unintentionally have bad manors into dirtbag scum.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

          These debates are necessary discussions the atheist community needs to have, no matter how ugly they may get. Women are grossly underrepresented in our community, and there is clearly a reason for it. And the bitterness I, and many other female atheists feel, is more than justified. We can’t even voice our complaints without being shut down, ignored, or mansplained to.

          You’re free to talk to any women you want to atheist conventions, but personally, I think you still have a lot of work to do when it comes to your approach to women and their concerns in the atheist community. When you can see only how women’s concerns and voices will affect men, you simply aren’t getting it.

          • http://www.facebook.com/AnonymousBoy Larry Meredith

            When you can see only how women’s concerns and voices will affect men, you simply aren’t getting it.

            I actually do understand the issue, and as I said, how women are treated in our community is of legitimate concern. Your assumption that I only see it from the perspective of how it effects men is completely incorrect. I try to look at it from both perspectives. That should be admirable, not condemned. You’ve attacked me bitterly for it though, only because I’m trying to point out that the aggressive bitterness of the debate has an effect on men. That’s not to say men are victims of feminism or how it effects men is all that matters.

            if “I’m not using any elevators at TAM” and “You’re not gunna see me talking to any girls at TAM” are “shit skeptics say”, then that could be a problem, couldn’t it? Or is that of no concern at all? If men are steering clear of women at atheist conferences, is that a desired result? Is that something women want? Is that what you want?

      • Rrr

        Alexa, I wonder if jus-de-fux and A-Port realize just how much their responses only reinforce your point. Are they seriously considering themselves to be skeptics? Dubitable, as is some of their genders at least in my eyes. But let’s not get too deep into such soul-searching. Surely we can elevate the debate. Or maybe bury it like the dead horse it ought to be by now.

        As for this Larry Guy, maybe he could turn down the hurt-male-privilege scale a few points?

        This by way of unnecessary apology for being of the x-y kind of person I happen to be. (Oh btw, you gonna frequent any elevators at all around Feb 14, late-ish?;) Yes, I understand I’m kind of late to this party, too.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=593717582 Alexa Joy

          No kidding, Rrr! I feel their replies have reinforced my point as well. Sadly, I think any comment section of a post that discusses women or feminism only ends up highlighting the problems with sexism within or community. Someone who truly espouses the ideals of rationalism would embrace feminism, and actually listen to the concerns of atheist women who feel there is a problem. 

          Thanks for being an advocate for feminism! :) It is seriously appreciated. I’m glad to get some support here, that’s for sure! The fact atheist men like you exist makes me feel much more optimistic about our community.

          • Rrr

            You’re most welcome. Considering how tiresome these endless old tirades are to me, I guess I can’t begin to appreciate what it must be for a woman to have to confront the same wilful misunderstandings over and over and over and over. Those guys really can derail almost any serious discussion on any subject. Why don’t they stop? That I just cannot comprehend. Honestly.

  • http://yetanotheratheist.com/ TerranRich

    “I don’t care, David Tennant is still the best!” <- Hell yeah. :-P

  • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

    And in case you missed it, Shit Atheists Say

    “You know what Christopher Hitchens said..”

    (and I say ‘actually’ waaay too often)

    • http://twitter.com/krankyPanz Mark Panzarino

      Hey, Rich!  That’s my video!  Thanks for watching!

  • http://www.bblss.org/ Miki

    LOL!  I’ve said the one about Neil deGrasse Tyson!

  • Snack

    Way overhanded on the sexism stuff. I just ended up thinking he was probably an asshole.

    • Linda

      Seriously?
      LOL

    • Anonymous

      How so. I thought it was pretty light.

    • Anonymous

      How so. I thought it was pretty light.

    • Brian Macker

      I just ended up thinking the same about you. An uptight one.

    • Brian Macker

      I just ended up thinking the same about you. An uptight one.

    • Brian Macker

      I just ended up thinking the same about you. Probably an uptight one.

    • Brian Macker

      I just ended up thinking the same about you. Probably an uptight one.

    • Brian Macker

      I just ended up thinking the same about you. Probably an uptight one.

  • http://twitter.com/RantBot5000 RantBot Grikmeer

    I liked that Tim Minchin was playing in the background of the party setting…

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnrael John Rael

    Thank you for the mad props, sir!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/johnrael John Rael

    Thank you for the mad props, sir!!!

  • http://twitter.com/marissa_rae Marissa C.

    Let’s be honest about what this video is — “Shit Male Skeptics Say,” not “Shit Skeptics Say.”  I’d have shared it if he hadn’t hammered all the sexism crap.

    • Drew M.

      He also had a couple of pickup lines along with the sexism crap.

      Is irony a male-only thing?

      • http://www.facebook.com/johnrael John Rael

        Unfortunately  Marissa C. is right. Women are not equipped with the tools required to understand or appreciate irony or self-deprecating humor. Knowing this I would never dream of creating satire with the hope that a woman could comprehend it. It’s also a well known fact that NO WOMEN in the skeptic movement have ever expressed any dismay at the ‘sexist’ accusations of fellow female skeptics. Why would a female skeptic EVER accuse another female skeptic of sexism? (they both have vaginas, right?) And I didn’t think skeptical women were allowed to not believe that Richard Dawkins was sexist.   Sorry Drew

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mia-Ponce/100002632483020 Mia Ponce

          Actually, that’s a myth.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mia-Ponce/100002632483020 Mia Ponce

          Actually, that’s a myth.

        • http://twitter.com/marissa_rae Marissa C.

          Yawn.

      • http://www.facebook.com/johnrael John Rael

        Unfortunately  Marissa C. is right. Women are not equipped with the tools required to understand or appreciate irony or self-deprecating humor. Knowing this I would never dream of creating satire with the hope that a woman could comprehend it. It’s also a well known fact that NO WOMEN in the skeptic movement have ever expressed any dismay at the ‘sexist’ accusations of fellow female skeptics. Why would a female skeptic EVER accuse another female skeptic of sexism? (they both have vaginas, right?) And I didn’t think skeptical women were allowed to not believe that Richard Dawkins was sexist.   Sorry Drew

    • Anonymous

      It certainly seemed to me like he was mocking the sexist stuff oblivious male skeptics were saying this past summer.

      • http://twitter.com/marissa_rae Marissa C.

        Pretty much every other thing he said is something most skeptics would be proud to say.  Including myself.  So I didn’t read it that way, but I don’t know the dude.

    • Anonymous

      It certainly seemed to me like he was mocking the sexist stuff oblivious male skeptics were saying this past summer.

  • http://twitter.com/marissa_rae Marissa C.

    Let’s be honest about what this video is — “Shit Male Skeptics Say,” not “Shit Skeptics Say.”  I’d have shared it if he hadn’t hammered all the sexism crap.

  • http://religionsetspolitics.blogspot.com/ Joshua Zelinsky

    That was very well done. Amusing and very well targeted. Like the best humor, it hits home with a ring of truth. And some bits were hilarious. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=532665943 Leoal Nelson

    LOL @ “So you’re a skeptic too…. I doubt that.”

    • Anonymous

      “Oh me.”

      That was my favorite.  I haven’t used that one…yet.

    • Anonymous

      “Oh me.”

      That was my favorite.  I haven’t used that one…yet.

  • Anonymous

    I can’t believe people take crap like Ghost Hunters or any other ghost show seriously. My uncle loves those shows and he believes that they are really contacting ghosts. I am not sure if he still does, but he used to be a firm believer that John Edwards was actually communicating with the dead. :-P 

  • http://friendlyatheist.com Richard Wade

    We laugh at these skeptical responses because we’ve all heard them, and most of us have said at least some of them. Their repetition makes them sound cliche. The same thing goes for the Shit Atheists Say video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdiSYdvN3dg&feature=youtu.be

    They’re only repeated because the idiotic claims they’re responding to are repeated cliches. I’ve used some of these responses many times, because gullible people bring the same silly ideas to me over and over again. Sometimes I think that if I hear Pascal’s Wager or “This will cleanse your toxins” one more time, I’ll go tear-the-paper-off-the-walls mad. The tedium of having to listen to the same old general public woo, both religious and non-religious woo, is so painful, we’re now laughing at the tedium of our own replies.

    I would love to hear a brand new idea once in a while, silly or sound, so I could respond with a fresh, thoughtful, non-cliched reply.

  • Littlewoodimp

    As a female atheist, I have no ojection being asked if I want sex at 5am in the morning …. so long as the person asking has no objection to being told “No” followed by, if he/she fails to get the point or persists, an invitation to do something imaginatively painful with their own anatomy – or have me do it for them. 

    Basically, some men will behave this way no matter what they believe regarding religion – we’re best off learning to deal ….. and have fun doing it.

  • Joe

    Doctor Who reference, fuck yea!


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