I Guess Conservative Christians are Geminis

I think The Onion found out how to read the minds of all those Christians who pray before city council meetings or who demand that a prayer banner should stay up at a public school:

(Thanks to Alan for the link!)

"Going out in public leaves on vulnerable to catching the flu. Should we all just ..."

Christian Right Leader: The Sexual Revolution ..."
"I swear there is an episode of the Outer limits or the Twilight Zone where ..."

Alleged Child Molester Roy Moore: “We ..."
"Throughout history people have strayed for relationships and brought home unexpected gifts to their spouses ..."

Christian Right Leader: The Sexual Revolution ..."
"You don't pay attention, do you? STD's have been around forever. Now we have treatments ..."

Christian Right Leader: The Sexual Revolution ..."

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://kerrysheadybrew.blogspot.com/ Kerry Miller-Whalen

    Haha!!  Gotta love The Onion!!  

  • Coyotenose

    I almost inhaled my straw when I read that. Thanks a LOT. >.<

  • digitalatheist

    Did it hurt? I think I spewed bourbon out of my nose when i read that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1220871538 Alan Eckert

    I post these every week next to the “real” horoscopes that another coworker decides to post in the break room.

  • Anonymous

    It must be somewhere in the bible that having witnesses is a good thing. Maybe have notarized witness statements too. You can never be to prepared for Saint Peters questions.

  • Greyoak

     Actually, it’s quite the opposite

    ” And when thou prayest, thou shalt not
    be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the
    synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of
    men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.    But
    thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut
    thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which
    seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
       But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
       Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”

    Matt. 6:5-8

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JTBMQYMFVZMKNCXIMISICQ3Z6E Anonymous

    heyyyyyyyyyyy i’m a gemini…….. quit the dissin’

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com/ Anonymous

    I’m a Gemini myself… with a sense of humor. 

  • Anonymous

    The Onion is great.  

  • Dan
  • Keith Collyer

    I don’t believe in horoscopes. But then, I’m a Scorpio, so I wouldn’t

  • Fargofan1

    Death threats “hurt her feelings”? I would think that’s putting it mildly. At over twice her age, I don’t think I’d hold up half as well.

  • Grell

    I am one hundred percent positive this is exactly like me.

    Fairly certain. More than certain, in fact!

    These things always are. These Horoscopes. Amazing.