Someone Believed This Was a Good Idea…

There was a meeting where this idea came up… and got approved. I’m still trying to get over that.

And this is why no one should go to church. Ever.

Oh, by the way, the people at Stevens Creek Church really want your money. Because how else are they going to make high-quality videos like this one?

In case that one’s not enough for you, the same does did a Saturday Night Live Cheerleaders parody a couple of weeks ago…

(via Christian Nightmares)

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  • Biodork

    Damn catchy beat. I can’t believe I watched as much of that as I did.

  • m6wg4bxw

    Suicidal Tendencies – Send Me Your Money 

  • Sware

    Anthrax – Make Me Laugh 

  • m6wg4bxw

    I feared my ST reference would go wholly unappreciated. Thanks for playing along!

  • Anonymous

    Holy crap.  “10% Not from the net, but from the gross” and “before I pay the rent”.  I for one would rather that the roof over my head is not the church roof.

  • Michael S

     Oh. I thought the 10% shirt was so he knows how much Bible to pay attention to.

  • Bluebury

    Nope.  Made it :34 into it and that is the worst half of minute of my life.  Between the bad EVERYTHING and the “write my check and the blessings come,” I was rolling my eyes so much that I almost lost a contact.
    Anyone make it all of the way through?

  • Anonymous

     You’re a braver person than me. I only made it to :23.

  • Nordog

    I’m not sure I made it that far.  Words simply fail to convey the horror of it all.

  • gski

    I’m hoping that it is a joke.  But if not, it could be that this video reflects how they actually view the outside world.

  • Anonymous

    This music has no soul.

  • m6wg4bxw

    This music has no [chakras].

  • Richard Wade

    These souls have no music.

  • Nordog

    True, but then, it is rap after all.

  • Adi Rule

    This is why I have to write “Do NOT poison the water supply today” on Post-its all over my apartment.

  • Adi Rule

    . . . I kind of love the robot, though.

  • Richard Wade

    Ohhh, that’s a robot. I thought it was one of the Blockheads from The Adventures of Gumby. Silly me, a robot makes so much more sense.

  • amyc

     The robot reminded of the Flight of the Concords song: The Humans are Dead

  • Troy Truchon

    What exactly does an omnipotent being need with money? Logically wouldn’t it be a far greater proof of his power if churches just sprung out of the ground fully formed?

  • Anonymous

     George Carlin did a great piece where he remarked that god somehow can’t handle money well

  • guest

    why does god needs money?

  • AshtaraSilunar

     I read this, and my first thought was “What does God need with a spaceship?”  …I’m such a geek.

  • The Other Weirdo

     Not that much of a geek, though. The word you’re looking for is “starship”. LOL!

  • Sware

    Uggghhh, I think my ears are bleeding!  Not sure but I might be even MORE atheist now just for having listened to that!

  • Anonymous

    Oh man, I was all excited to post a comment on their youTube: “Comment awaiting moderation.”

    My comment was “Why not just donate 10% of your income to charities directly?”  Anyone wanna take bets on it actually getting through? 

  • m6wg4bxw

    I noticed that too—the moderation of comments. After leaving my comment, I read what was already approved. I have little hope for either of our comments. 

    It could be a troll, as they say, and the exclusion of  critical comments could be another layer of the deception.

  • Katie Bojorquez

    My dad (who’s Mormon) decided to pick out the ten+ verses he found that proved that tithing wasn’t necessary anymore. I thought it was freaking hilarious. Still do. 

  • momma J

    The NT doesn’t require a tithe, it requires more than that…to give until it huts. ex. the good samaritan, the woman who pours out the only perfume she has to wash Jesus’ feet, etc. 

    To be a bit cliche, it’s not the size of the gift that counts, its the size of the giver’s heart that does instead.

  • FSq

    Okat, first, white guys simply do not have rhythm of the ability to dance. So that is fail one. Two, this is worse than Celine Dion. 

  • The Other Weirdo

     Very nice. For all the whining and the wringing of hands on Atheist blogs(yes, including this one) about the supposedly awful treatment of women by atheists, somehow the subtle racist misandry of “white guys can’t dance” always seems to go unnoticed. At least thanks for using “guys” instead of “males”.

  • amyc

     I noticed it immediately, but I didn’t see it until this afternoon (I work and stuff). I know plenty of white guys who have rhythm and can dance. I know plenty of other people of various races and genders who can dance with varying degrees of skill. None of it seems to come from their race or their gender. hmmm, perplexing, no?

    Also, this is the first time I’ve seen anyone make a “white guys can’t (insert skill here)” statement on any of the atheist blogs I read, that wasn’t called out by somebody within a few minutes. I don’t see what that has to do with people talking about women within the atheist community. Why can’t we acknowledge sexism (and/or racism) in the atheist community and address the issues when they come up, instead of pitting them against each other?

  • Politisis

    So what song did this Christian group “parody”?

  • C High

    This one:

    Which I personally find to be hilarious. :)

  • Secret Agent Woman

    I laugh every time I hear LMFAO’s original, but that church took a hysterical song and made it distinctly un-funny.

  • C High


  • Liz Heywood

    “I’m sexy & I know it.”

  • Anonymous

    It’s the Prosperity Gospel, yo!

  • Anonymous

     It’s all about making Pastor Marty prosperous, yo!  And the best part is churches pay no taxes, Pastor Marty gets a housing deduction or parsonage tax-free, and churches make no Form 990 disclosures, so nobody will ever know how much he’s raking in.

  • Timothy Otis

    I don’t know whats worse…the horribleness of the video, the subtle demand that tithing is more important than rent or food, or the endless flood of religious adds for billy graham that pop up, no doubt as a result of posting the stupidity of religion…praise be unto nuggin for the posting of ST’s send me your money…I swear they were a big part of my surviving highschool.

  • Tressa

    I made it all the way through. Carrot Top, The Unknown Comic, Howard Stern & Screech (from Saved By The Bell) have hit bottom.

  • Rich Wilson

    It’s not as sickening as this

  • Jonel Burge

    0:37 into it and I feel like I’m about to have a seizure.

  • Tressa

    Billy Connolly explains it best

  • Secret Agent Woman

    The real song is almost a parody itself, but at least it’s funny. This is just manipulative and grotesque.  Greedy, too.  Are we certain it wasn’t made by atheists who are just trolling?

  • Bowz

    Lol- come on – yes, tithing is bad, church is bad etc.. But- this was clever and creative. I’m glad you posted it, I got stuck through the whole thing. These guys are having fun with something (as misdirected as it may be). I can appreciate that. LookIng forward to the day I have that much energy to put into “I’m sceptic and I know it”. Who knows- the gauntlet is thrown…

  • amyc

     “I’m Skeptic and I know it” lol, challenge accepted!

  • John Small Berries

    It’s no How to Worship.

  • Rich Wilson

    Oh God That’s Funny!

  • Sven

    This is the kind of so-bad-it’s-hilarious video that needs to go viral, hahaha

  • Kathy Orlinsky

    That was almost as good as Purity Bear.

  • Keulan

    Oh dear. And I thought the original song by LMFAO was bad enough. I don’t know which bothers me more, Christian versions of bad songs or Christian versions of good songs.

  • Richard Wade

    This will be so useful! Every time a Christian says that atheists are dumb,  or stupid, or fools, I’ll just leave them the link to this video. No further comment will be necessary.

  • TiltedHorizon

     I usually just post up a link to Kirk Cameron’s ‘Atheist Nightmare ‘ (The Banana) video.

  • Annie

    What are they saying??  “I’m ____ and I know it.”  Can someone please help me fill in the blank. 

  • Jett Perrobone

     “Tithing”.  It means paying 10% of one’s earnings to the church.

  • Gordon Duffy

     growing up I thought tithing was something that only happened in the Dark Ages – like the sale of indulgences. I was so shocked to find it still happens in the modern world.

  • amyc

     I’ve had to explain to a few muslim (and ex-muslim) friends what tithing is, and they all think it’s weird. I also find it odd (in hind sight) that at my church growing up, “tithing” and “offerings” were the same thing.

  • Rich Wilson

    I was going to say it was the same as but I guess really it isn’t, since 
    Zakāt is (if I understand correctly) direct, not via the church.  And of course you’re not allowed to brag about it.

  • momma J

    That’s okay, Muslims are so much more generous. They “pay alms” like once a year :/

  • Rich Wilson

    Zakāt is more than ‘pay alms’ once a year.    As much as I roll my eyes at the religious reasons for anyone’s charity, I think what they do and give (including your own) should be respected.  That’s one of the good aspects of any religion, and one that I think quite frankly could survive without the religious backing.

  • momma J

    I wish that was true. And I know that non-religous people give to charities as well, but no-one gives when it comes to disasters like the church does.

     I know of a lot of people who have traveled or given to the N.O. rebuild and now to Jopling, MO. 

  • momma J

    Now that I think about it, it’s probably how some Catholics show up for mass before Christmas and Easter and that’s it. There are people who claim to be Christians and put on that “hat” when it’s time. I’m sure there are nominal Muslims as well. I probably have just met those and not anyone who tries to follow the Koran to a “t”.

  • Annie

    Ah, thanks!  I’ve read the word many times, but never heard it out loud.  In my head, I always pronounced it with a short ‘i’.  I should have put two and two together…

  • Jett Perrobone

    If you think this is bad, then you certainly do not want to click here.

  • starskeptic

    I’m confused – what brand of car was that commercial intended to sell?

  • Larry Meredith

    I’ll just leave these here…
    Disclaimer: Moderated comments may not represent actual viewer response.

    I <3 my church. Proud to be part of a church that uses GOD given creativity,

    Y’all are hilarious! I LOVE taking things back from Satan and using them to expand the Kingdom!!! Keep it going – my prayers are with you!!!

    Yep… Those are my pastors & I couldn’t be more proud!

    THis is awesome!!!! keep it up Steven’s Creek!

  • Anthony C. Okafor

    LOL!!! True

  • amyc

     I think it’s funny that one of them said they are taking this song “back” from Satan. Did this song at one point belong to Christianity and then Satan stole it away? I’m confused…

  • Anthony C. Okafor

    LOL!!!! I didn’t even notice that one!!!

  • momma J

    Yeah, I was wondering about that part too ?

  • bla

    I’ve watched it full and had no problems… that’s a great atheist-made parody of churches approach to gathering peoples money. It is. Is it? Tell me it is…

  • Anonymous

    Come on, why not just call it what it really is, A COVER CHARGE! I didn’t see a two for one or a ladies nite on their church calendar. 

  • Annie

    I like to think of it as HOA fees for a club house, as most of the funds collected go to heat, maintain, etc. church buildings and pay the bills of the clergy.  Bill Bryson in “At Home: a Short History of Private Life” gives an excellent explanation of grand tithes and small tithes.  He also explains how tithes were replaced with fixed annual sums in England in 1836.  You see, this way, even if the farmer had a bad year, the clergy did not. 

  • MariaO

    There are no percents in the bible. That is a medielval invention. The T-shirt with its % sign is clearly blasfemous.

  • Anonymous

     No. You is wrong. Every time the word “tith” or “tithing” is used in the Bible, it spells out 10% — that’s what the word means.

  • Longstreet63

    But the question is, of course, ‘where in the Bible did God specify ‘pretax earnings’ as the subject of the 10%?”

  • MariaO

    You misunderstand. Its the mathematical SIGN % that does not occur in the bible. Of course the concept of one tenth is there.

    You must discriminate between a concept and its name! Especially in math.

  • Anonymous

    Uh, do i get this right? Those people find it allrighty to give (or throw away i would say) 10% of their income just to get some already rich dude richier and they call it “unamercican” when it comes to pay taxes for a universal healthcare which would benefit everyone?

  • Richard Wade

    Yeah, I’d say you got it right. 

  • Nordog

     Yeah, I think you’re probably wrong in this case.

    In my experience, Christians who spend alot of time talking about tithing tend to be “Prosperity Gospel” types.  So they think that they are giving away 10% to make themselves rich.

    Also, the Christians who are so terribly addicted to trying to be so terribly hip tend to be Obama supporters and consequently supporters of Obamacare.

  • amyc

     Your comment made sense until you equated “Obamacare” with “universal health care,” these are two very different things. Of course, I don’t feel like turning this into a debate over health care legislation. So I’ll end on a high note: anyone feel like this video could have been awesome* if they went out of their way to dress up for it (not just the wigs and the robot head). It feels weird that they got the wigs and stuff but didn’t feel like dressing in anything other than what they would normally wear while shopping or watching tv.

    *by awesome I mean funnier.

  • Nordog

     Do you mean to contend that a supporter of Obama’s health care agenda would be against universal health care?

  • Rich Wilson

    pay taxes for a universal healthcare


    tend to be Obama supporters and consequently supporters of Obamacare

    Glasofruix wasn’t talking about ‘Obamacare’

    There are people who oppose (or support only grudgingly) Obama’s plan because it’s a long way from true single payer universal health care.
    I’m not sure about your version, support Obama’s version but oppose true single payer universal.  I would doubt there are many of those.

    I think the tithing crowed would distinguish between the Church ‘suggesting’ that they tithe and the government forcing them to pay a tax.

  • Nordog

     “I’m not sure about your version, support Obama’s version but oppose true single payer universal.  ”

    That’s not my version.

    Rich, my point was simply that in my experience the type of Christians we’re talking about here tend to be politically liberal and thus not opposed to universal health care, single payer, or whatever it may be called.

    Regardless of what one calls it, the folks I’m talking about not only aren’t complaining about liberal politicians’ policies on health care or taxation, they are themselves liberal Democrats.

  • momma J

    And yet Nordog, most actually do not believe in the health and wealth gospel, but I admit, sadly this cancer has been spreading and growing lately. When I  moved to my current city, I spent a couple of weeks trying out different places and ran into a church that teaches health and wealth. THIS IDEA IS NOT BIBLICAL! 

    I do not give so that I am blessed in some way. Nor do I limit it to 10%. The Testament was 10%. 10% is sadly taught as the requirement. 10% is actually the minimum. Jesus taught sacrificial giving (give until it hurts). So that’s where I am at. 10% for some doesn’t phase them. 10% for others is a hardship.

  • Toddsturgell

    Why so much hate? It’s not prosperity gospel by the way. If you tithe we don’t preach you will be rich. We believe scripture says you will be blessed. You don’t have to believe but don’t hate on those who do. That is all.

  • Larry Meredith

    There is no good reason to believe you will be blessed for it either.

    That is all.

  • Ron

    Christians have been doing secular music badly for decades. Here’s a gem from the past:

  • Rieux

    I dunno, guys, I thought it was cute.

    Sure, ideologically, it’s a hot mess: tithing for a disgusting megachurch is a really ugly idea. So 0/10 for the concept they’re trying to promote.

    Still, the video is happily weird, self-mocking, and silly. If an identical-looking group of atheists made an almost-identical video (“I’m doubting and I know it”?), I think it’d be a hoot. Trifling, but great fun.