Libby Anne, who grew up thinking sex was only something reserved for marriage, talks about one of the byproducts of that way of thinking: The belief that all men only wanted one thing from her.
Eventually, I ended up kind of scared of guys my age, because, after all, they were all sex-crazed maniacs who couldn’t help but undress me with their eyes during every conversation and might even want to date me just so they could have sex with me. They might pretend to be interested in me for myself, but I knew the truth — all they wanted was sex. Maybe it’s not surprising that I didn’t really have any guy friends in high school.
… The only way I could convince a guy to marry me was to dangle sex in front of him like a prize — marry me and you get this! And then, wham! He’d be stuck! It also gave me a very bad image of the men around me. Guys my age scared me. I didn’t feel like I could understand them. They were all sex maniacs who were only interested in my body. Only by playing the game right and holding out just long enough could I trap one of them into marriage. And then he’d be stuck.
Whether you want to or not, raising someone to believe physical relationships are inherently wrong outside of a marriage means also passing along other crazy ideas: That you should avoid becoming close friends with someone of the opposite sex. That no men can possibly like you for your mind. That all women are temptresses just waiting to seduce you. That marriage is the only way to “tame” men. That hooking up (in any way) will deprive you of a happy marriage.
It’s not just fundamentalists who preach this stuff, either. This is mainstream Christianity. And you’re better off leaving it all behind.