The Definition of False Dichotomy

Sign outside Open Bible Wesleyan Church in Cartersville, Georgia:

True story: I was holding a fork as I opened that email. The church may be on to something…

(Thanks to Brian for the link!)

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  • Anonymous

    My question is how you manage a typo on that kind of sign?

  • Michael

    I wonder if it wasn’t modified by someone who wanted to claim EA were the devil?

  • beezlebub by default

    so they’re saying if you’re not christian you’re the devil?

  • Alex

    Pretty much. Atheist? Devil. Muslim? Devil! Catholic? Devil, I say!

  • Stewjp

    sad pathetic people in that church

  • Erp

    Given that using a cross as one’s sign or signature was what you did if you were illiterate, one could draw another conclusion.

    Or that a pitchfork would indicate hard work on a farm producing food for others (and a cross an easy life as a clergyman living off donations). 

  • Edwards Luzardo

    Or you could wear the fork as your sign, and follow the FSM. I totally would.

  • Liz Heywood

    I want a little gold electric chair to wear on a necklace. :-)

  • Steven Brent

    This may very well be true, but ask yourself this: between a cross and a pitchfork, which would I rather have in hand when the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse hits?

  • Matto the Hun

    Another false dichotomy. I’d rather have a machine gun that shoots pitchforks.

  • Steven Brent

    I like the way you think. Make those exploding pitchforks and I will set up a Kickstarter for the product design phase.

  • Anonymous

     What if it’s a vampire apocalypse…  We’re going to need a cross shaped pitchfork!

  • Matto the Hun

    No way, it just needs to be a wooden pitchfork! That’s like 4 stakes to the heart at once!

  • Alex

    A church sign not far from my house reads “If evolution were true, mothers would have more than two hands!” I think my IQ drops 5 points each time I pass by and look at it. Derp derp.

  • LutherW

     Sounds like they think their god is not so great.

  • MariaO

    Like a cool Indian godess? Isn’t this celebrating mothers? Are they pitching Hinduism here?

  • Alex

    Damn, if there were a nice way to put up a picture of Kali next to that sign, I would totally do it :)

  • Anonymous

    “If God existed, mothers would have more than two hands!”

  • Tainda

    Could it be…..SATAN?

  • Matto the Hun

    Hey, at least the are honest about the proposition their religion makes. They aren’t bullshitting anyone with, oh you’re Jewish and you’re Muslim but we all worship the same God, lets hold hands and sing kumbaya while we think about how horribly wrong each other is.

  • Christoph Burschka

    The cross is a tool of torture, used to kill people horribly. The pitchfork is an invaluable farming implement.

    Mh, let me see here.

  • Gregory Marshall

    Cool!!!! A pitchfork is way more wicked awesome than a cross.

  • NewEnglandBob

    A pitch fork may be a necessity to keep the theists at bay so they do less damage to the world.

  • Toats McGoats

    Im sure this church, back in the day, used to put burning crosses on black people’s yards.  I don’t think it was a sign of sharing faith in Jesus, I think it was sign with more of a “Time to leave NOW” message.

  • Michael

    Only a Sith deals in absolutes…

  • The Other Weirdo

     Which is an Unfortunate Implication all on its own. Or the sure sign of an exploding irony meter.

  • Falconer33

    I find your lack of faith disturbing….

  • Chris Leithiser

    You hear that, you guys with those six-pointed stars?  You ain’t fooling anybody.

  • The Other Weirdo

     Ninjas? I think you will find their response will be rather… pointed.

  • Chris Leithiser

    I don’t SEE any ninjas around here….OWWWW!

  • Anonymous

    It seems shuriken are most often four pointed stars, though three, six and eight are easily found.

  • enuma

    Pagan response: You guys really need to learn the difference between a pitchfork and a trident.

  • Anonymous-Sam

    … And coming off the heels of Star Wars references above, now I’ve got a mental picture of Poseidon saying “I find your lack of waves disturbing…”

  • BenFromCA

    Pitchfork : Dinner fork
    Lance : toothpick

    IOW, you can’t compare a dinner fork to a pitchfor any more than you can compare a toothpick to a lance.  No “coincidence”.  Nothing to see here.   Move along.

  • Keith Collyer

    anyone notice their sign looks like a sun symbol over a book? nothing like a cross. so they didn’t look at their own sign first – why am I not surprised?

  • The Captain

    I bet it’s members are real nice, friendly, and supportive to the non-christian community in their town too.

  • They’reAllTheSame

    I thought judge decided that “The(A) Cross” was not a “religious symbol” 

  • Joe Zamecki

    To me, it looks like they’re desperate to control people. 

  • Rev. Ouabache

    That shows some serious bad planning on God’s part. Why would an omnipotent and all loving being set up a system where he loses by default? 

  • Anonymous

    Thankfully I don’t believe that pitchforks exist.

  • Azrael Kane

    I just want to know what an EA Pitch-Fork is?  Is that some new farming sports game?

  • Holytape

    I just what to say that a pitch fork is a lot more useful that a cross.  A pitch fork can be used from simple gardening to storming the castle of the mad scientist up the road.    

  • HitchsApprentice

    I’ve got a sign for them….. It involves raising the middle finger……….

  • Anonymous

    Turns out that by accident they were correct about me.

  • Keulan

    The first thing I thought when I saw that sign-

  • village1diot

     Good. I’ll have something to stab Jesus in the neck with.

    I’m not going to hell without a fight.