Are They Sure They Want To Brag About This?

This picture has been going around on the Facebooks:

Just a few quick thoughts:

  • Inappropriate use “of” quotation marks is one of my favorite things.
  • Really?  Tuition is free?  What happened to tithing?
  • The “winning souls” thing makes me vaguely uncomfortable. As if I’m the assignment they need to work on.
  • Does anyone spellcheck these things before putting it online?

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • Ava Wilson

    Of course they don’t spell-check. They went to the ‘best university in the universe’. However they spell is OBVIOUSLY Correct.

  • Eric Fleischer

    It is acutely apparent that the type of angles this is  speaking about are straight angles. Not to be obtuse but I’d rather be a right angle.

  • Christoph Burschka

    As if I’m the assignment they need to work on.

    No “as if”; I think that’s literally what they mean. These people are creepy.

  • Tom

    One of the best things about the university I went to was that I didn’t have to die to get in.  I was also allowed to go back into the real world after I finished there.

  • C Peterson

    Brings to mind a restaurant I once ate at which had a sign, ‘Try our “tasty” burritos, made from “real” pork’. A little worrisome, that. Still, I’d risk a “tasty” burrito over either Christianity or “Christianity” any day!

    I like “class mates”. “Classmates” are your companions in school; as two words, I figure it’s a reference to the fellow students you’re fooling around with in a rather non-Christian way. Maybe that’s what makes them “Christians”? I suppose there’s nothing wrong with Angles, although I prefer Saxons myself.

  • Jennwith2ns

    Obviously nobody puts anything of moment online after spell-checking it. (Cf. Mitt Romney’s campaign.) The misspelling and the misquoting is . . . ugh! Embarrassing!

    There might be other embarrassing things about this, too, but . . . it would take too long to hash it all out.

  • Big Fat Al

    I would guess that their classmates, the angles, are obtuse.

  • Thomas Spademan

    Doesn’t the phrase “prayer and worship” require quotation marks, when referred to in the singular as a motto?  I vaguely remember something about use versus mention and the use of quotation marks…like this:

    “Prayer and worship” is my motto.  

  • mikespeir

    I took geometry with angles, too.  BTW, I like how they put “Christian” in quotes.

  • Elyse Anders

    Angles are your classmates, and they’re all obtuse!

  • MeauxBetta

    And these are the people that want to prevent the rest of us from going to real universities where they actually teach you to think for yourself.

  • Barry Tikkanen

    You could also note the problem with subject verb agreement in “Winning souls are my assignment.”

  • vexorian

    Well, to be fair “angles” is spelled correctly.

  • Dane Collins

    I had angles in my geometry class.

  • JSSherrard

    I don’t know what “tution” is, but at least it’s free! *palm-face*

  • Coyotenose

    I saw the most awesome response to Mitt’s “Better Amercia” typo. A commenter named Becca wrote:

  • Wleebarbo

    To be fair, spellcheck would’ve let the ‘angles’ pass. Sometimes is the better choice.

  • vexorian

     It was probably like “doctor” Spaceman (that’s pronounced Spa-Che-Man) and they were forced by law to put real between quotiation marks.

  • Thomas Spademan

    Winning souls is (not “are”) my assignment.  

  • Rcjruff

    We should leave them alone. The jokes below are funny. . Let’s not hit below the belt. We are supposed to be” friendly”…..:-) :-) and my spelling sucks too.

  • JSSherrard

    It might have allowed ‘sprit’ to pass too. It is a word, just not the correct one. Well, not unless they are a particularly nautical religion!

  • JoeBuddha

    “Pan-handling is my Carreer”?

  • Joan

    The only religious sect I’m aware of that is opposed to pursuing higher education is Jehovah’s Witnesses.  What does this mean by “Crown of Life is my degree”?  Are they talking about dying?

  • Paul Reed

    Some of my ancestors were probably angles.

  • Bob Becker

    Would it be churlish of me to hope that next time anyone who posted that needed an operation, they got a surgeon who was educated wholly as they propose?  

  • Marty

    Ex-gay organizations are my fraternities.
    Priests are my sketchy TAs.
    Politics is my extracurricular activity.

  • observer
  • Stev84

    There are several movements in Christian fundamentalism that are against higher education for women. And they only grudgingly accept it for men because they need to earn money to feed the large brood they are supposed to have.

  • Marguerite

    This is a Poe, right? Ridiculously over-the-top and making a clear point about the fact that church and religion don’t serve as an adequate education? 

    I’d like to HOPE it’s a Poe, anyway *sighs*.

  • Atoswald

    “Winnings souls are my assignments”

    Doesn’t seem like they want to leave us alone, so I see no reason not to call them on their failed attempt at witticism. Being friendly does not mean we have to be door mats.

  • Reginald Selkirk

     Angles are my classmates, and Saxons and Normans as well.

  • Bill

    I once knew a cute angle.  Maybe some day I’ll get back to Flatland.

  • Alan Christensen

    But for a bit of luck, I almost went to a religious university. So this bit of evangelical “cleverness” mostly creeps me out.

  • David Philip Norris

    When you’ve got an automatic A with Jesus, who needs correct spelling? Pssh!!

  • Coyotenose

     Thanks to faith healing, a few of them DO.

  • Erp

    I assume the ‘holy sprit’ is suppose to be ‘holy spirit’ but to make the spirit a teacher and Jesus the principal is bad  theology for most Christians (each part of the trinity is equal to each of the other parts yet in most schools the principal is superior to a teacher). 

  • Pisk_A_Dausen

    No, no, it means “souls which are winning”. Like Charlie Sheen’s soul.

  • Ndonnan

    Maybe whoever wrote it is dislexic

  • Buffy

    Vacuous and creepy. 

  • Monster8

    Must be FSM devotees – Aaaaarrrr!

  • wmdkitty

     There’s NEVER a bad time for “Whose Line”!

  • PsiCop

    How good a university could Christianity be, if its students claim that “tution” is free? Seriously!? “Tution”?

  • Paul D.

    Learning proper grammar is not their assignment.

  • Teapixie65

     Surely the must be a-cute one in there somewhere!

  • Monkey

    I don’t know that “Tution” is free… ignorance is a really high price to pay to go to their university…

  • Keulan

    With a terrible education like that I can see why they can’t spell worth a damn.

  • Frederick

    Dang, these “people” are “stupid.”

  • Jett Perrobone

     I’m having trouble figuring out how to pronounce it.  Does it rhyme with “Russian” or “cushion”? ;)

  • compl3x

    • Delusions are what what I’m having
    • Voices are what I’m Hearing
    • Bigoted is my world view
    • Deceitfulness is my exam
    • Ignorance is my degree
    • Bellevue is where I should be

  • Jett Perrobone

    “Holy Sprit??”

    What horrible spelling.

    They typed “pr” when they should have typed “h”.  ;)

  • wmdkitty

    Excuse me, but that’s kinda ableist.

  • wmdkitty

    I’m just gonna leave this here…

    “I’ve lived in filth, I’ve lived in sin / And I still smell cleaner than the shit [they're]* in!”

    “they” being both a change of the actual lyrics, and a reference to the numbskulls who post idiotic “HEY! JESUS! HEY! JESUS!” statuses… stati? I’d rather listen to freakin’ NAVI (“HEY! LISTEN!”) than read one more “JESUS LOVES ME BLAH BLAH BLAH GAWD ROXXX” status-spam. (Guess what I see a LOT of on Facebook…)

    (Edited for tag-fail.)

  •!/OffensivAtheist bismarket

    I’m definitely seeing a correlation between religiosity & bad grammar/spelling & it doesn’t seem to matter what religion is involved. I have quite the collection of badly spelled slogans & quotes. Maybe even enough for a book (Happy face)! 

  •!/OffensivAtheist bismarket

     The cute ones act iso silly.

  • Heretic Husband

    “Winning souls are my assignments!”

    Yes, because people love to feel like they’re a project…it really warms their heart.

  • Rob

    Naa, if you notice, only “THE HOLY” is highlighted in green.  Spritis must be a new verb we’re not aware of…

  • Sue Blue

    I think spellcheck just inspires false confidence in those who can’t spell – it might catch an occasional typo, but it’s not a substitute for actual education and writing skills.  All the misspelled words in this piece of crap are words any third-grader ought to be able to spell without a second thought.  In fact, it’s so bad I’m almost convinced it’s a Poe.

  • Sue Blue

    The grammar, the spelling…back in my day, this wouldn’t even be up to fifth-grade writing standards.  I’m almost convinced this is a Poe, except for the pathetic fact that colleges now have to offer remedial English and math classes for students just out of high school who can’t even pass placement tests for English 101.  

    Call me a grammar Nazi, but I tend to regard a person’s ability to write as indicative of their ability to think; I can’t take seriously anyone who can’t spell, punctuate, or string a sentence together using proper syntax.  

  • Jennwith2ns

     Good point, Erp!

  • GloomCookie613

    When I used to whine when my mom would make me redo English homwework, she’d always say:

    “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing correctly.”

  • Glasofruix

    We had a couple of american students here at my university once, part of the exchange program. They wera reeeeaaaally bad at EVERYTHING, i mean their math skills were not even on par with high schoolers.

  • Darryl Wright

    Class trips to the creation museum no doubt.

  • jdm8

    No, I “sprit” all over myself.

  • jdm8

    The tuition may be free, but the agony of listening to a “Pretchure” every week is a very high price to pay.

  • Anna

    “Sprit” makes me think of Rainbow Brite, LOL.