Dissecting Someone’s Hatemail

The FFRF just got another lovely piece of hatemail in response to their “It’s Time to Quit the Catholic Church” ad campaign:

I’m trying to work through the thought process of whoever wrote this…

You want Catholics to leave church?! NO! I’ll show you… Go have sex with yourself! Wait, that’s physically impossible… umm… ok, just give me oral sex instead! Shit. Wait. Then everyone will think I’m gay… crap! Ok, blow me but not in a homosexual way! Dammit! No one’s gonna believe I’m straight after that… and what if they’re exhausted? It’ll just backfire. Ok, I got it! YOU SHOULD JUST DIE! Fuck, I really should’ve put that first… SOMEONE FIND ME A STAMP!


About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/chidy/ chicago dyke, orphan

    this one screams “priestly molestation victim” or “self hating closet case as a result of the church’s teachings” all over it. don’t try to understand. just have pity. 

  • http://twitter.com/arensb arensb

    What’s with the crosses in front of “Blow” and “Die”? Is that the author’s way of making sure we all know he’s a True Christian™?

    • http://yetanotheratheist.com/ TerranRich

      Those are plus signs. As in “and”.

  • Alexandra

    Oh this made me LOL.

    These angry responses are making this ad worth every penny.

  • Annie

    Oh, too bad.  The writer didn’t specify whether he wanted an individual or family membership.  I’m going to go out on a limb and guess this guy’s still single.

    • The Other Weirdo

       It’s bad to make fun of gays. It’s bad to make fun of lesbians. We can’t harass women at atheist conventions and we have to pay them equal pay for equal work when we let them out of the kitchen. So what, now we’re out of people to abuse and those of us who are single are fair game? What kind of an insult is it, being single?

      • Annie

        My apologies.  I was making an attempt at humor.  When I saw the photo above, I pictured someone angry and alone, but of course I have no way of knowing that.  After rereading my quick remark, I agree that single people could interpret being single as a dig, which was not my intention.  I’m sorry, and thank you for pointing this out.

  • gski

    It is an example of the clear headed thinking that, makes the bible appear true and faith worthwhile.

  • gonegirl

    Actually, giving (or receiving) a blowjob is catechismically a mortal sin on the same level as using contraception.  So “blow me” is a pretty clear rejection of Catholic teachings. 

    I say put this one in the “win” column!

    • Alexandra

      Actually, blowies are okay as foreplay.  As long as the seed lands in the vag, Catholics are okay with it. 

      Except for anal sex, they still might hate that.

      • Fsq

        So, again, I ask the question….if a Cathlolic blows and swallows, should they be arrested for cannabilism?

        • Jasmyn

          I don’t think cannabilism is an issue for the Catholics. They eat Christ’s flesh and drink his blood all the time.

  • The Captain

    This looks fun, I wish I got more hate mail.

  • Fsq

    Reminds me of an old “The Onion” horoscope I once got:

    “While you are perplexed and vexed by everyone’s request for you to go fuck yourself, you cannot think of one logical reason not to.”

  • Justin Miyundees

    1. Denial.
    2. Anger.

  • MG

    Maybe it’s just a first draft of his farewll letter to the church.

    • MG

      or farewell, if you are into the whole “correct spelling” thing. :)

  • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

    Is there something in the communion wine?  It seems like the “Christian love” is getting more vicious by the day.

  • Meee

    I greatly enjoy the fact that the “+ die” seems to have been written in a different pen. 
    I imagine the author sitting at a desk, writing the first two lines with a childish marker in their hand, then they place the finished piece down on the desk and go to bed for the night.
    Then on the next day they sit back at their desk, looking over the paper thoughtfully, and it suddenly occurs to them: “Of course!” 
    But they can’t find their childish marker! It’s gone, somewhere, probably raptured away or something, so they have to make do with a regular ol’ biro that was on the desk, and they add the final line to the letter before sending it off.

  • Blanc_Slate

    Would you really want someone you didn’t like to blow you? Strange

  • Neil

    The person exhorts the FFRF to masturbation followed by oral sex and then death. Sounds like an extremist acolyte of the late Aleister Crowley.

  • Slightly sarcastic

    “Blow me but not in a homosexual way” — perhaps he thought the atheist movement might have women involved in it?  Silly thought, I know, since you men elevator-r*ped us out of existence.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cburschka Christoph Burschka

    Ad worth every penny just for the lulz.

    [Dawkins trollface]

  • SpencerTroxell

    “Ok, I got it! YOU SHOULD JUST DIE! Fuck, I really should’ve put that first…”
    No, I think he got the order right. It would be hard for us to fuck ourselves and blow him if we were already dead.

    • SpencerTroxell

      Nevermind, I read that too fast. I thought you were critiquing the ordering of the person who wrote on the FFRF donation sheet…

  • Keith Tyler

    That’s a good Christian right there, that is.


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