Jesus’ Letter to Joseph

Who knew Jesus wrote a letter to Joseph?!

You were a pretty good stepdad to me over the years so I think it is time I told you the truth — the truth about my father. As you know, you’re not my father. But what you don’t know, and what none of my followers know, is that God is not my father. My mother was no more a virgin than David or Solomon’s concubines when I was conceived!

And my father, Yahweh? More like NoWay. But I think you knew that, you must have known that I have a real father. How could you not? I mean, what’s more likely, that a young girl would lie about the circumstances of her pregnancy when the penalty for her promiscuity is death or that the laws of nature were suspended in a feed trough in some backwater barnyard in Bethlehem? C’mon!

FFRF has the rest of the letter here :)

About Hemant Mehta

Hemant Mehta is the chair of Foundation Beyond Belief and a high school math teacher in the suburbs of Chicago. He began writing the Friendly Atheist blog in 2006. His latest book is called The Young Atheist's Survival Guide.

  • Bob Becker

    Love the faux parchment look.  Reminds me of the radio preacher some years ago that was selling photographs of Jesus for a “love offering” of I don’t recall how much. 

    • LutherW

       Bob, I think Jesus is testing you. He used that faux parchment look to see if you would believe him or not. That proves to me that this is authentic. Only a phoney would have created a genuine old a document 2000 years ago to have it pass the tests of authenticity. Only someone with special powers could have made a document 2000 years ago that looked more recent.

      • Bob Becker

        You mean like the so-called fossils He placed in the rock layers, to test our faith in the Bible established six thousand year old earth?  Of course!   Now I see it. How could I have missed it with the parchment?   My deepest thanks for  setting my feet yet again on the Path of True  Understanding….  

  • http://twitter.com/TominousTone Thomas Lawson

    Found this little gem not too long ago. It’s a little humor that managed to lead to a legal precedent for blasphemy in Kentucky in 1900. I was giggling as I read it. I just love the image of Mary trying to shoo the animals out of the “nursery.”

    “The Virgin Mary” by M. Grier Kidder (1899)

    http://dds.crl.edu/CRLdelivery.asp?tid=12023

    • The Other Weirdo

       I like how, in addition to Catholicism, it also sticks a few daggers into Socialism. LOL!

  • http://eternalbookshelf.wordpress.com/ Ani Sharmin

    Totally love this. Thanks so much for posting! Is it weird that this kind of find this version of the story in some respects more interesting to read than the version of the Bible?

    Two favorite parts:

    “Anyway Joe, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this sooner. You are a good stepdad as far as stepdads go.”"I need a stiff drink after dinner with all twelve of those clingy sycophants—they can never agree on anything, especially Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”


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