You Should’ve Read the Whole Book, Not Just Part Two

This is the first half of today’s Cyanide & Happiness:

The second half is here :)

(Thanks to Chris for the link!)

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  • mikespeir

    Fool!  It’s your own fault for having been born human.

  • Jade Lackey

    Love/fear him since he is a merciful/merciless god that loves you so much but will strike you dead without batting an eye. 

  • Chris Leithiser

    The religion itself would be light-years ahead by ditching the first half of the book.  And getting rid of Revelation at the same time.   LOTS less bloodthirsty stuff to explain away as allegory.

  • Edmond

    I’m reading the whole thing right now, nearing the end of Judges.  It’s unbelievable how bloody the whole thing is.  God tells his “chosen” people (what they did to be “chosen”, I haven’t a clue, they’re constantly pissing him off) never to kill, and then sends them out mowing down city after city after city.  I guess, thou shalt not kill except who I tell you to kill?  And the rituals of the Exodus!  Sacrifice those sixty rams, chop up those dozen bulls, spread the blood all over everything, burn the animal pieces… it’s so PAGAN!  It’s hilarious these people can’t see the common source of their rituals.  I hope the rest is this entertaining.

  • Buffy

    Mention anything in the OT and Christians will typically tell you “That’s the Old Covenant.  We’re under the New Covenant”. Of course that doesn’t apply when it comes to those dirty homosexuals and monuments to the 10 Commandments plunked everywhere.