This presidential election may just turn into a three-horse race. You thought we were just down to Barry and Mittens? Oh no, friend.
Not if Bill Keller and his site VotingForJesus.com have anything to say about it! They’re “taking a stand and say[ing] ‘no’ to Satan this November!!!”
Don’t believe them? How could you not? They have a 1998-style website and everything!
Over 125,000 people have committed to this.
Guys. There are over 125,000 people who are committing to vote for at best a guy who has been dead for 2,000 years but is more likely a fictional character. Do you know how many people that is?
That’s more than six times the number of people who attended the Reason Rally. Who are going to vote for Jesus. For president. Of the United States. (I mostly take issue with the fact that he’s not a U.S. citizen. You know, because he was born 1776 years before the founding of America.)
I know I am really driving this point home hard, but I just want to make sure that everyone is on the same page here.
The page also features a lengthy manifesto of their position which contains lots of CAPITAL LETTERS about JESUS and also lots of punctuation!!!! I tried reading it, but after I got past this, I had to quit due to the brain fluid oozing out of my ears:
As I prophetically shared last November, if God allowed the upcoming election for President to be between President Obama and Mitt Romney, it would truly be satan flipping a two-headed coin with his head on both sides!
I skimmed the rest of it after I shoved the brain fluid back in and would like to offer some highlights:
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is a 5th generation member and a priest in the satanically inspired Mormon cult. He and others in his cult LIE when they claim to be Christians, since Mormon doctrine is 100% inconsistent with Biblical Christianity and a Mormon is no more a Christian than a Muslim is. He deceives people by saying he believes in “God” and “Jesus” is his savior, when the “god” of Romney’s cult is NOT the God of the Bible, and their “jesus” is NOT the Jesus of the Bible. Romney and those in his cult believe the Bible to be a flawed and incomplete book and look at Biblical Christians as inferior and non-believers for rejecting the beliefs of their cult.
Romney’s cult is very aggressive in seeking converts to their beliefs.
The problems in this nation are NOT political, they are spiritual. That is why NO politician can solve the real problems this nation faces!
This is not about politics, it is about THE ETERNAL SOULS OF MEN! A true Christian will NEVER put politics above souls, so please watch for any so-called Christian leader who endorses and supports either President Obama or Mitt Romney, since they are nothing but “hirelings” and NOT true men or women of God because they obviously don’t care about souls!
I am encouraging true followers of Jesus Christ to say NO to satan and say YES to Jesus! This November, write in the name JESUS for President! The option will be several third party candidates. Sadly, no candidate outside of the two major parties have any chance at winning the election. So rather than vote for a third party candidate, write in the name of Jesus for President.
God started by allowing the economy to slip in disarray, we have chaos in our streets, and now God has allowed two tools of satan to face each other to see who would become the next leader of our nation.
Keller goes on to expose how crazy the Mormons are using scare quotes and a liberal smattering of the word “cult.” (It’s used 20 times on the page… someone knows how to stick to his message!) To his credit, he manages to sound just about as crazy as the beliefs he’s describing… Impressive, no?
Of course, there is the requisite Call to Action — you know, tell everyone you know everywhere about this amazing plan to vote for Jesus.
I wanted to do some kind of deconstruction of this amaaaaaazing plan. Find out what they are trying to accomplish. Do they think that Jesus will come back if enough people vote for him? Do they think that Jesus can no longer hear their prayers and now counts ballots instead? What on earth is their plan if they somehow pull this off and win? The list goes on…
But, honestly, what can I say? I just think that Keller has just out-crazied everyone.
The man is shooting for the moon, and taking 125,000+ people with him.