A Catholic Election Ad… with Fire

Catholics Called to Witness (“Inspiring Catholics to Live Their Faith”) released an extremely dramatic video about the upcoming presidential elections:

The text reads as follows (emphasis theirs, and also note that their text is all in caps lock.  I wouldn’t subject you to that, though):

In generations past, the church has always been able to count on the faithful to stand up and protect her sacred rights and duties.  This generation of Catholics must do the same.

This November

Catholics across the nation will be

Put to the test.

Many issues in America

Require hard work

But how do we know

If we are building in vain?

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Psalm 127:1

Catholics across the nation

Will have an opportunity

To shape the future

For our generation

Many issues are at stake.

But some issues are

Not negotiable

“The protection of life…from…conception, until natural death.” Pope Benedict XVI

Marriage should be reinforced

Not redefined

Forcing the church to buy insurance that goes against her teachings is a violation of religious freedom.

“When the government tampers with a freedom so fundamental, one shudders to think what lies ahead.”  Cardinal Dolan

Your vote will affect the future

And be recorded in eternity

Will you vote the values

That stand the test of fire?

The whole text plays over a man literally forging words like “TAXES” and “ENERGY” and “MARRIAGE” all in super slow motion.  Then a woman walks to a voting booth and casts a ballot.  In super slow motion.  The sound track is something akin to The Lord of the Rings.  It is all very very dramatic.

I wonder who they are trying to get us to vote for…

So, this is what we’re up against.

Just thought I would let you know.

*CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC*

*WALK AWAY FROM DESK IN SLOW MOTION*

*FADE TO BLACK*

About Jessica Bluemke

Jessica Bluemke grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and graduated from Ball State University in 2008 with a BA in Literature. She currently works as a writer and resides on the North side of Chicago.

  • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

    There’s a GATHERING STORM!  Oh, wait…wrong bigot propaganda video.  

  • Alex

    Mind-boggling bullshit. With quotes from Pope Palpatine XVI and Cardinal “Pay off the child molesters” Dolan, no less. Disgusting.

  • gski

    “… the church has always been able to count on the faithful to stand up and protect her …” They may want to check with the protestants about that. Next, …

  • Drew M.

    This music would play well over a montage of the various torture methods used during the inquisition, the Holy See’s tacit approval of Hitler, etc.

  • Stev84

    The music is probably from a trailer music studio such as Two Steps From Hell (highly recommended), Immediate Music or X-Ray Dog

    • Baby_Raptor

      Two Steps From Hell is awesome. Just adding my support for it. 

  • http://squeakysoapbox.com/ Rich Wilson

    Was I the only one who saw the hammer and thought “Thor!”

    • Annie

      I was hoping it was some lost Tolkien novel being made into a movie.

  • Annie

    I love how the voting booth is a bit reminiscent of a confessional.

  • Scooter

    That’s right Catholics!  Vote for the anti-charity rich guy from the cult!

  • Lyvvie

    I was confused from the beginning when they referred to the Church using the feminine – it’s the largest patriarchy going; why are they protecting “Her sacred rights,”? (Obviously not Catholic)

    • Cindy

      I believe the Church has always been considered the bride to the bridegroom, Jesus.
      I want to know how they maintain their tax free status when they are obviously pushing Republican candidates.

      • http://twitter.com/Buffy2q Buffy

         I think so long as they merely hint at it (no matter how heavily) rather than coming right out and saying “Vote for Mr. X” they can get away with it. 

        • JohnnieCanuck

          Who is going to prosecute even the most blatant infractions? Not the police. The IRS perhaps could, but if they don’t want to be seen persecuting the ‘good’ guys there’s nobody to make them do it.

          It would also be hard to get at them with a civil suit. Proving that a plaintiff had been damaged would be a challenge.

      • Annie

        Yes, it is rather ironic that the Catholic Church is always referenced with feminine pronouns. 

      • ejoty

         Oddly, the “bride of Christ” always has to have a male head.   A male-male partnership?

  • LesterBallard

    You know the problem with atheism, and evolution, for that matter? No one gets punished for all eternity for not being an atheist, for not accepting evolution. Conversely, there are no eternal rewards for being an atheist and accepting evolution. How do we fix this?

    • http://twitter.com/KevinSagui Kevin Sagui

      Tell people to grow up and stop following a carrot tied to a stick?

  • JohnnieCanuck

    Evil lurks in cathedrals. They are the inventors of the Devil and eternal torture in Hell. They must be stopped before they can get any more of their hatred encoded in the Law.

    • LutherW

       The only way they could improve the ad and the law would be to have it all in Latin.

      • Sindigo

        It might put people in mind of Harry Potter though and I think the Church frowns not only on J K Rowling’s books but also on becoming associated with wizards in general. People might start seeing the similarities. 

  • http://eternalbookshelf.wordpress.com/ Ani Sharmin

    The title of the video reminded me of learning about “trial by ordeal” in ninth grade history class.

  • allein

    “And be recorded in eternity”

    In other words, God is watching you!

    So much for private ballots…

  • CanadianNihilist

    So the Catholic Church in America wants to put a Mormon in power?

    • Annie

      Apparently… magic underpants and all.

    • bort138

      Better than a Muslim

      • Sindigo

        Or an Atheist.

    • Sindigo

      Apparently a man who believes the second coming of Jesus has not only happened but happened in America better represents Catholic values than a man who believes that people who love each other should be able to marry and that universal health care is a good thing. Go figure.

  • dangeroustalk

    They didn’t use names, but they are clearly campaigning for a particular candidate.  Contact your representative, and demand the be taxed!

  • machintelligence

    No real blacksmith there, choking up on the hammer like that. I know, he just plays one on commercials.
    Alternative title: “The Catholic Church Forges A Head, God knows they need one.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/oswegowriter Matthew Harmer

    In thirty years, when gay marriage is as normal and accepted as interracial marriage, the Catholic Church will be there, taking all the credit for their imaginary role in protecting the rights of all to marry.

    • AxeGrrl

      The same way they take credit for being the ones who ended slavery!

    • ejoty

       In the same way that the Church of England, when currently opposing equal marriage rights, claims it isn’t anti-gay because it supports civil partnerships for gay couples. 
       In fact, the majority of bishops in the House of Lords* voted against the 2004 Act legalizing gay partnerships — but we’re expected to have forgotten that already now that civil partnerships have become an accepted part of our society in less than a decade.

      ——
      *Yes. we do still have unelected bishops voting in the UK parliament.

      • Sindigo

        And they’re threatening us with disestablishment! Some threat…

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger?feature=mhee GodVlogger

    “Your vote will affect the future, And be recorded in eternity, Will you vote the values, That stand the test of fire?”
    Are they implying that if you don’t vote the way the Church wants, you will spend eternity in Hell???

    • allein

      I’m gonna go with “yes.”

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/GodVlogger/featured GodVlogger (on YouTube)

         Do they really think that their flock still falls for this??
        Is*that* the best strategy they’ve got to work with? In the 21st century, that’s all they’ve got?

        • Annie

          All of the Catholics I know (that I asked and who had ever heard of them) told me they thought the “Catholics Called to Witness” were a bunch of nuts and did not represent their views. 

  • http://twitter.com/trakblue Thomas Rakness

    Is it just me, or was the use of the American flag as a freakin’ tablecloth rather…jarring? Now that’s some disrespect there, Mother Church.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chrisalgoo Chris Algoo

    So they’ll quote Pope Benedict, but not Jesus. Hmmmm…

    • snoofle

       Jesus isn’t hardcore enough for them!

  • chyhowlek

    Seems a little…
    *puts on sunglasses*
    overwrought.

  • Christine Shaw

    If they want to get involved in politics than god dammit pay taxes!

  • ConvertToCatholic

    I thought this was “friendly” athiests?

  • ConvertToCatholic

    The
    church has always defended life from conception and has always taught against
    contraception/abortion. Both common practices from the start of Christianity.
    (Study Roman history and church history from that period). The church will not bend on this issue or any other
    faith issue.  If you think the Church is taking sides, think again, the video simply says what the teachings of the Catholic faith are regardless of the laity’s thoughts on the issue.  Obama started this, by telling the Church to change its beliefs.

    Note: Historically, the Catholic church has always been regarded as a
    “liberal” institution until the 80s. Its teachings haven’t changed
    the U.S. has.


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